Divisional playoff: 49ers 36, Saints 32

FIRST QUARTER
Wow, how much chutzpah does it take to win the coin toss against the Saints and defer?

The Saints' second catch is by a TE who had one catch all season. Yes, the 49ers better be ready for anything this week.

NaVorro Bowman has been one of the best LBs in the NFL this season, and Darren Sproles just made him whiff like he was, well, a Ram. But tackling Sproles has to be like trying to bring down a cartoon character.

Then the 49ers get ABSOLUTELY SCREWED by a pass interference call. Jimmy Graham had his hand on the ball before Donte Whitner ever made contact with him! (Not that I feel bad for the 49ers.) Another big upshot of the play that puts the Saints in the red zone - Graham injured.

Whitner then saves the Niners by knocking Pierre Thomas out at the two-yard line with a helmet-to-helmet blow that causes him to drop the ball. Not sure why a similar hit on a wide receiver should be illegal and this one isn't, but that's football. 49ers take over inside their 5. Saints hurt themselves a lot with turnovers last week; that will be a lot harder to get away with this week.

Gregg Williams takes it easy on Alex Smith until the 49ers get out to midfield, then blitzes his head off to force the punt. Roman Harper delivers a big hit on Smith for a sack/fumble recovered by Gore. Take some notes, Darian Stewart.

49ers answer with an excellent 3-and-out. Aldon Smith, who's already pressured Drew Brees a couple of times, gets the sack here to shut the Saints down. Saints probably need to look to extend the field more on 1st and 2nd down instead of settling for the dinks, something they get double-guessed about a lot. Only consolation for the Saints is that Graham returned to the game. Thomas is still out, though.

The Niners take the lead with a fittingly 49-yard TD to Vernon Davis. Malcolm Jenkins makes the key tackle on the play, tackling his own man, Harper, to spring Davis for the TD.

If scoring first's not the jinx it was last weekend, it's going to be a long weekend for my picks.

49ers 7-0

And it does not look like it is going to be the Saints' day. Brees inexplicably gets picked off by Deshon Goldson, who is already well on his way to player of the game honors. Goldson returns the pick all the way down to the 3. Goldson made a couple of nice red zone stops on the first drive prior to the Thomas injury/fumble. The 49er secondary is all over it today.

And now the power offense Niners are going pass-wacky at the goal line? Huh?

But pass-wacky works, with Alex Smith hitting Michael Crabtree on the slant for a 3-yard TD that has put the Saints squarely behind the eight-ball. Classic pattern here; they had Ted Ginn running a lead slant for the clearout with Crabtree coming in on a slant behind him.

The first quarter's not over, but it's safe to say the Saints need a score here.

49ers 14-0

NO, COURTNEY ROBY FUMBLES AWAY THE KICKOFF. He booted it away, picked it up and then got stripped on the tackle. Well, thank God I picked the worthless fucking Saints today. 49ers take over AGAIN inside the 15.

If America didn't know for sure that the 49ers are for real, they're about to get three hours of excruciating blowout to find out.

SECOND QUARTER

Well, maybe I gave the 49ers too much credit for killer instinct. They settle for a FG here and a 17-0 lead. The Saints are barely alive for now.

49ers 17-0

The Saints get to midfield before their momentum is briefly stopped by a poor call by the John Parry crew. Darren Sproles was well down before Whitner stripped the ball loose. Should be an easy replay overturn.

I mean, both his knees, his shoulders and his ASS were down before the ball came out! How do you get a call that wrong? Hell, Stevie Wonder gets that call right half the time.

Overturned and the Saints continue from the SF39. From the 14, Jimmy Graham posts up in the end zone for the Saints' first score. Couple of key catches on the drive by Marques Colston as well. 49ers have started to blitz a little bit, but aren't getting there. Saints may have found a way to slow Aldon Smith down. He's about the only 49er to threaten Brees today.

49ers 17-7

Classically, I have written a team off again well before they're finished. The Saints 3-and-out the 49ers, with Jo-Lonn Dunbar stuffing a Frank Gore screen on 1st down, and Harper stuffing a Gore sweep on 2nd down. Saints take over again at their 34.

Now that the Saints have quit turning the ball over continuously, it's time for the 49ers to come up with an answer. Marques Colston has gone nuts here in the 2nd quarter, (after not even being targeted in the 1st) starting and ending this drive with catches, the end one a 25-yard TD catch of a perfect pass by Brees. 49ers have almost completely stopped putting any pressure on Brees as well.

It's a ball game again!

49ers 17-14

Hee, the 49ers may not even be ahead in this game at halftime! After a nice completion from Smith to Davis at midfield, Crabtree fails to make a tough catch of a deflected ball, then drops an easy pass, and on third down, I'm not blitzing, but Gregg Williams is, and it's another (half) sack for Harper and Martel Wilson. Andy Lee's punt goes sploosh in the end zone, giving Brees 2:14 to move 80 yards.

After the 2:00 warning, Devery Henderson gets tripped up bumping into Tarell Brown on a deep route on 3rd-and-8, goes down, and Brown has the INT for New Orleans' FOURTH TURNOVER OF THE FIRST HALF. It's a tribute to the potency of the Saint offense that they're even in this game.

Taking over at their 31, the 49ers play it pretty close to the vest. Using their timeouts, the Saints shut the 49ers down at midfield with over a minute left. Sproles fair catches the punt at the 15.

Well, the 49er D is bringing the blitzes now. They blow up a Sproles screen for a loss of 4, and now they're the ones calling defensive timeouts. Jim Harbaugh plays the field position game like a fiddle. After the punt, SF gets 29 seconds now from their own 45.

Hee, Gregg Williams does it again before halftime. He blitzes Harper and an LB, forcing Smith to try to scramble when Martel Wilson gets him for a sack/fumble. Haven't the Niners figured out they're going to get blitzed in that part of the field every time? Seems like the case so far.

The 49ers put more than enough pressure on Brees to keep the Saints from moving into FG position, though, and we go to halftime with a three-point game that really should be a 49er blowout.

HALFTIME

Missing in action in the first half: Frank Gore, only 8 touches, for 40 yards, for the 49ers, and even with the TD, for the Saints, Jimmy Graham, just 3 catches for 25. The Niners could really stand to pop Gore or Kendall Hunter against the blitzes Gregg Williams is bringing in pretty reliable situations. Check this out - the 49ers - the conservative, pound-it-out offense, right? have THROWN 21 times and rushed only 8. If the Saints can get Graham going, it's really going to wreck the 49ers, because they've had to take to blitzing more and more because their straight-up rush isn't bothering Brees at all. Hard to believe that won't make Graham a bigger and bigger factor in the 2nd half.

Whichever becomes a bigger factor in the 2nd half - Graham getting involved (and the Saints quit turning the ball over every play), or the 49ers getting back to their roots and establishing Gore (aren't teams SUPPOSED to power-run against the Saints?) decides the game. They're still losing for now, and should be losing by a bunch, but the Saints have an inevitable air to them right now.

THIRD QUARTER

Gore gets 2 carries for 6 yards for a first down, but then what? Incomplete pass, handoff to Hunter for 1, Gregg Williams brings Malcolm Jenkins on the safety blitz for a monster sack. These aren't the brilliantly-coached 49ers the world has been talking about all year after all.

AND THEN THE MISERABLE FUCKING SAINTS BAIL THEM OUT AGAIN. TURNOVER NUMBER FIVE by Sproles on the punt return, as he pretty much just tossed the ball on the ground while dodging a hit. It's recovered by Colin Jones, whose name sounds like "Paula Jones" every time Moose Johnston says it.

Handed the ball inside their 25, Gore gets one carry, Smith nearly gets sacked again, and with Williams blitzing big yet again, it's ANOTHER DROP by Crabtree. Probably cost them a first down. FG, David Akers.

49ers 20-14

Brees hits Colston for another big play across midfield but the 49ers hold them there. Brees gets a belated time out on 3rd-and-8, but Justin Smith destroys his man to sack Brees and end the drive. That's a super omen for the 49ers right there.

49ers start just inside their 20, and CONTINUE TO KEEP THE BALL AWAY FROM GORE. Jonathan Vilma lights up Ginn on an end-around. Then, the 49ers IDIOTICALLY call THE WORST TRICK PLAY EVER that the RAMS tried to run on them two weeks ago. Gore's throwback to Smith is terrible, and the 49ers nearly give it away. Andy Lee bails the whole mess out with a 63-yard punt that backs the Saints up inside their 20.

The 49ers' gameplan today is seriously flawed. Yes, I would much rather have Frank Gore tossing the ball back to the QB on the Worst Trick Play Ever instead of, oh, I don't know, pounding out some yards on the ground, maybe? And, really? You're stealing trick plays from THE RAMS? From Josh Freaking McDaniels?

Neither team deserves to win this game. The Saints are giving the ball away like a Mike Martz offense on crystal meth, and the 49ers have coached a laughable game so far.

What's really made the difference for SF today has been their secondary, which we see when the Saints get the ball back, Brees gets about eight seconds in a perfectly clean pocket, and his best option (apparently) is still a near-interception into double-coverage. But Henderson then beats them for 19 on a quick slant. Brees barely beats a blitz with a 13-yarder to, yep, Graham. That, however, is followed by Carlos Rogers breaking up a play-action bomb, a drop by Graham, and the Saints blowing their second timeout already. Rogers breaks up another slant on 3rd down.


Now HERE's the 49ers. A dumpoff to fullback Bruce Miller, who I believe has a cracked helmet, for about 15. The Saints stuff a handoff to Hunter. Stick to your guns, Harbaugh. No, it's bombs away to nobody. OPI on Ginn is declined. He comes off the field the next play with an injury. After back-to-back OPIs, the 49ers are punting.

IDIOTS. Three quarters into a playoff game, Frank Gore, you know, that guy who wears #21? has ten freaking carries. 13 touches.

I just figured it out. Josh McDaniels didn't go to the Patriots; he went to the 49ers! It's the only plausible explanation for how AWFUL the 49er offensive gameplan has been today. And they had two weeks to prepare!

Pass to Sproles, (rare) carry for Christopher Ivory (Steven Jackson's little brother), and the Saints are at midfield. Maybe they've finally quit screwing around here. 15 more to Henderson. Is somebody going to show they actually want to win this game?

FOURTH QUARTER
Hitch to Colston for 9 puts the Saints in FG range, but they get no farther. Pressure forces a bad throw from Brees, Ahmad Brooks HAMMERS Ivory for a loss, and Colston essentially DROPS A TOUCHDOWN, because I don't think Reggie Smith's hit would have made a difference had he caught it. Saints settle for a FG.


49ers 20-17


Marques Colston sure shows bad hands a lot for a guy who's supposed to be an elite receiver. Let's see if the 49ers don't make that the turning point of the game.

Nope. The Saints stop Gore on 2nd-and-5, then Kyle Williams DROPS a pass Patrick Robinson should have intercepted. 3-and-out. This is the Saints' game for the taking, if they want it. At least four dropped passes by the 49ers today.

Nope. The 49ers have blown up every Saint screen today, but they insist on trying it. That's incomplete, then Brooks whips the RT for a sack, then MAJOR push by Justin Smith forces a bad throw. He almost pushed Jermon Bushrod right over Brees. Big 3-and-out for the Niners. Maybe THIS will prove to be the game's key momentum shift.

AND FINALLY Jim Harbaugh listens to RamView. Gore breaks an inside handoff for 40-plus yards. A Hunter sweep gets them inside the 20. Get Gore back in there! No, now it's Anthony Dixon, who gets stuffed behind the line despite the 49ers' jumbo formation. Another big blitz nets the Saints a pass deflection that pinballs back to Gore for a loss, and for the third time today, the 49ers settle for an Akers FG. Damn, this game is playing out just like I predicted. 49ers again settling for too many FGs.

49ers 23-17

Wait a minute, the premise for a highly-touted new show is that over 300 of America's most notorious criminals just disappeared from America's most secure prison? Wouldn't this have made it into the news one way or another?

On 3rd-and-9, Brees and Henderson hook up for a crucial 14-yard sideline completion. Colston's 8th catch achieves another first down. Sproles up the middle on 3rd-and-1 for another first across midfield. 4:20 left, for all you Ron Paul supporters. And on 2nd-and-10 from the 44, there goes Sproles, kind of like he did against the Colts a few years ago, squirting through with a dumpoff off a little circle route for a TD. The Niners blitzed on the opposite side, which left him a lot of open field to make the catch, and he got a lot more after the catch after Goldson blew the tackle.

As Michael Cole might say, that was vintage Sproles.

Saints 24-23

Before we get too far ahead of ourselves, the 49ers have 4:02 left and just need a FG, which is their specialty. I wonder if Williams won't just blitz his ass off every play here. Worst case, the Saints will have the ball back down six, with time, right?

4-man rush. 12 to Kendall Hunter.
Here's a blitz. Pass batted down. 2nd-10, pi to go.
How long is this game taking, btw? I'm going to miss the Broncos-Patriots kickoff, and then some.
Another big blitz, but the 49ers have the perfect solution - a bomb to Vernon Davis. Good for 37.
49ers are in FG range at the Saint 30. Malcolm Jenkins beaten on the play.
Toss sweep to Gore for 4.
Remember the Saints already blew two timeouts, so they only have one left for clock management.
Hunter up the middle for 4 as Harbaugh seems content with another FG.
Saints use their last TO at 2:18. 3rd-and-2 here will decide the game for all intents and purposes.
AND FOR THE FIFTH STRAIGHT GAME THIS POSTSEASON, A TEAM DRAWS A 12-MEN-IN-THE-HUDDLE PENALTY. It's the 49ers, and it's now 3rd-and-7 at the 27.
And now SF uses a timeout. Harbaugh's arguing the 49ers really only had 10 in the huddle. Interesting.

HOLY CRAP ALEX SMITH TAKES IT HIMSELF AROUND LEFT END FOR A 27-YARD TD. The Saints blitzed Vilma from the other side, but that wasn't why they got beat, they just got caught with their pants down. A couple of excellent blocks on the play by Joe Staley. That almost makes up for all of San Francisco's awful offensive calls the rest of this game.

The two-pointer has to wait while the refs double check that Smith stayed in bounds the whole way; it looks like he did.

Smith appears to audible out of the original call on the two-pointer, and the Saints stuff the resultant inside handoff to Gore. 2:11 to go.

49ers 29-24

HATE HATE HATE that Sproles took the kickoff out of the end zone, and Paula Jones dumps him at the 12.
Screen to Sproles beats a corner blitz for 9 at the 2:00 warning.
Brown breaks up a high pass for Colston.
Colston lunges for a pass and gets out of bounds with a 12-yard gain. Ball at the NO34.

OH MY LORD. Despite outstanding pressure up the gut from Brooks - WHO DID I SAY THE SAINTS HAD TO GET INVOLVED?!?! - Graham catches a jump ball from Brees despite close coverage by Willis, Whitner whiffs pathetically at the spot of the catch, and Graham dances away for a 66-yard TD. HOLY CATS. I just wonder if the Saints scored too quickly.

The 49ers forget completely about Sproles, who's wide open at the pylon for what could prove a crucial 2-point conversion.

Saints 32-29

What an amazing game this has turned out to be!

1:37 left for the 49ers, though. That smell you detect comes from the 49ers home crowd all crapping their pants for the second time today.

ANOTHER ill-advised kick return starts the 49ers at only their 15. Now I'm not expecting heavy blitzing from Williams.

4-man rush,dumpoff to Gore for 7. Smith wastes a TON of time. 1:07.
Gore wide open over the middle for 12. 49ers have 1 TO left.
Saints blitz a safety and a LB, and Smith goes deep for BRETT SWAIN?!?!?, just a little too far. Jabari Greer appeared to just assume the pass would be incomplete. Too bad Swain got only a hand on it.

OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, SMITH AND DAVIS BURN ANOTHER SAINT BLITZ, this time for 42. Davis beat the crap out of Jenkins again, though he saved the TD after Harper whiffed on a tackle.

THROWING from their 20, Smith dumps to Gore for 7, and spikes with :14 left. Wow, Harbaugh's planning a shot at the end zone.

With Gregg Williams shockingly only rushing THREE, Smith hits Davis at the goal line with :09 left for at TD. Davis was open in the zone between Harper and I believe Scott Shanle. Akers PAT appears to be sending the 49ers to the NFC Championship.

Holy crap!

And see, that's the difference Harbaugh makes. Steve Spagnuolo would have kicked the FG two plays before.

49ers 36, Saints 32

Well, I got the flavor of the game right, just not the final result. And you will note from my predictions yesterday that I picked the 49ers to cover. Happy times here in RamView land.

An especially weak version of the Stanford marching band play gets stuffed at the14 with 3 seconds left. OK, coach, what call do you make when you need 86 yards?

?

Brees fires a pass over the middle into the ground?
No, An over-managing Harbaugh calls a timeout for unknown reasons. One last shot for the Saints.

Screen to Sproles, back to Brees, who's smarter than to throw the stupid forward pass he did to Robert Meachem, the 49ers stop it anyway to end the game.

Quick postgame show.
Star of the game will go to Alex Smith. It would have gone to one of the 49er DBs, but they made too many poor plays in the end. Smith ends up with 299 yards, 3 passing TDs, a rushing TD and a ton of clutch play when his team needed it most. Awesome performance by a player who's really turned his career around.

If the Rams do get Gregg Williams for their DC next year, I hope he'll have a solution for passes to the freaking TE when he big-blitzes. And it's just weird that he only rushed three on the last TD. Williams had the measure of the 49ers a lot of the day, but once they found the fairly simple key to beating his blitz, he had no answer whatsoever. If you argued with me that Williams was the reason they lost the game, I'd point at the five turnovers, but I wouldn't give you a tooth-and-nail fight, either. Hopefully the Rams DBs are a lot better at covering TEs than the Saints' are?

The Saints sure don't look like a team that needs much heading into next season. But when the 49ers are unafraid to throw 42 times against your secondary, I might suggest that's an area they'll want to shore up.

Last, a bold prediction. The 49ers will not just get beat, they'll get KILLED, by whoever they play next week, if they play as poorly-coached as they looked today. 12 men on the field, settling for FGs, rarely getting Frank Gore the ball, curious time management, none of that is going to cut it against the Packers or the Giants.

On to what's left of the second game.

-$-