Saturday, January 14, 2012

Divisional playoff: Patriots 45, Broncos 10

FIRST QUARTER, joined in progress with the Patriots already freaking ahead 7-0 because the NFL didn't have the courtesy to delay the start of this game for those of us who wanted to watch the end of the first game. For shame, NFL!

It took the Patriots no time to get ahead, with a 43-yard RUN by Aaron Hernandez setting up a short TD pass to Wes Welker. But you can read that on the NFL.com play-by-play like I had to. The Broncos answer nicely with long runs by Willis McGahee and of course, Tim Tebow, but Rob Ninkovich sacks Tebow and forces a fumble with Denver right on the edge of FG range. We now return you to your regularly-scheduled program:


Brady to Welker, Brady to Gronkowski, Brady to Hernandez, Brady to Gronkowski again, Brady to Gronkowski a third time, great diving catch after tipping the ball, TD. Yawn. Remember when the Ram offense was supposedly going to look like this?

Patriots 14-0.

Tebow better do something here, or Tebow Time may be limited to 15 minutes, if you know what I mean. Of course, the Bronco defense would help itself out if they could make the Patriots take longer than 3 minutes to score.

Hah, Phil Simms continues to look like a total idiot by insisting after the commercial break that the TD was going to be overturned. Didn't see any problem with the catch myself. CBS really needs to find somebody to replace bozo Simms, though, seriously. What happened to Trent Green's venture into broadcasting?

After about every kickoff went out the back of the end zone the first game, Steven Gostkowski is hanging up all his kicks around the 10-yard line. And the Broncos still get stuffed inside the 20!

Demaryius Thomas is gang-tackled for 6 on 2nd-and-7. The ball popped loose, but the correct ruling was that his forward progress had already stopped. McGahee gets stopped up the middle on 3rd-and-1, but bounces outside for a big 17-yard gain around right end. But you can't stop Rob Ninkovich, you can only hope to contain him. And the Broncos refuse to even block him. He's clean to Tebow to force a bad 2nd down pass and Thomas drops a catchable pass to end the drive.

You can have Tebow Time; tonight appears to be Ninkovich Night.

Or maybe not. After a first down to Welker, Brady overthrows Gronkowski BADLY and right to an unsuspecting Quentin Carter in center field for one of the easiest INTs ever. Inexcusably bad throw from Brady, who didn't have a rusher within a stone's throw of him. Carter returns down to the 25, where he gets BLASTED by Hernandez.

Crossing routes get Thomas just open enough for a nice pass from Tebow inside the 5, and the Broncos appear about to get on the board.

SECOND QUARTER
McGahee quickly churns right through the Patriot defense for a 5-yard TD. Zane Beadles, who's had a much better rookie season than I ever would have expected watching him Senior Bowl week, commits a dumb penalty after the play that forces a kickoff from the 20. Danny Woodhead starts the Patriots at the 40.

Joe Mays blows an INT after Gronkowski gets knocked off his route, but the Broncos still force the punt. And get the ball at the 5 for their trouble.

And 3-and-out, when, again, it's Ninkovich, doing a good job to prevent the option toss and helping stuff Tebow on 3rd down. Patriots set up at midfield after the punt.

Any reason why the Broncos can't stop handoffs to Aaron Freaking Hernandez? 10 more around left end gets the Patriots inside the 20. Everybody's running successfully for the Patriots this drive. Stevan Ridley had a couple of good carries, BenJarvus (Law Firm) Green-Ellis just gain 5, Brady even had a short scramble.

Oh, and TD pass to Gronkowski. Yawn. Nice pushoff, btw, which idiot Simms appears to say "doesn't matter." Well, he's probably right. Rules have never really applied to the Patriots.

Patriots 21-7

The Broncos get exactly what they DON'T need next: a three-and-out. Kyle Arrington barely misses a pick-six along the sideline. Ninkovich AGAIN blows up another option attempt. And Tebow gets about a half hour on 3rd down, but the Pats seem to have everything covered, and he ends up with a desperation throwaway. Patriots take over again near midfield. Can't Britton Colquitt punt at near-earth gravity?

But we now have the Patriots 3-and-outing, with Brady barely missing Deion Branch with a bomb on 3rd down. Who expected this to be the one of today's game with offenses sputtering back and forth?

The Broncos gain 6 yards on the exchange and start this drive at their 11. Confusion forces a Bronco timeout on 2nd down, but McGahee grinds out a 1st. Tebow gets the Broncs moving with a nice 10-yard to Royal, but he's then sacked by Vince Wilfork, and, guess who, Ninkovich. Then Gerard Warren about beats the ball to Tebow on an option handoff attempt and he hands the Broncos another big loss. Simms then yammers on about Denver's "Good call" on 3rd-and-20, a handoff to Lance Ball that gains 12. You know they didn't get the first down, right?

Seriously, Phil Simms gets excited about give-up handoffs? He has an NFL broadcasting job why?

I'm not sure how to tell when the Patriots are in hurry-up, but they apparently are, just outside the 2:00 warning.

Hurry-up, you bet your sweet ass. They score in two plays, the main one being a 61-yard TD bomb to Branch, Brady's 4th TD pass of the half. Subtle pushoff by Branch, but not as flag-worthy as Gronkowski's earlier. Andre Goodman heads straight to the burn ward.

That's also how you can tell it's no longer fantasy football season. Deion Branch made a big play!

NE 28-7

Is Tim Tebow's fifteen minutes up? Will I be able to write the end-of-game look-ahead at halftime? Don't misunderestimate me.

I may be able to start before halftime, as the Broncos 3-and-out AGAIN. Tebow gets no help from his receivers here, with bad drops by LANCE BALL and Thomas.

1:09 with the ball at midfield is a lot of time for Brady.
Brady to Welker.
Brady to Hernandez, who the Broncos STILL refuse to tackle, for 20.
Brady to Julian Edelman.
Brady to, guess who, Gronkowski, for guess what. A TD.
The Patriots are basically scrimmaging 7-on-7 here.

NE 35-7

HALFTIME

The Broncos aren't covering a damn thing the Patriots are running anyway; they'd better spend halftime figuring every, make that any, way possible to get their mitts on Brady. They might as well blitz eight every down and take their chances; they're doing little tackling or covering anyway.

The offensive problems aren't really Tebow's fault, at least as far as I can tell. The Patriots have the option game scouted perfectly. I'd like to see them get back to a conventional running game with McGahee, who's had the measure of the Patriot D more than a few times. Maybe that can set up some of the play-action that Tebow beat the Steelers with last week. But 30 minutes isn't enough time for that strategy to work with a 4-TD deficit.

Let's face it, this game's over. Bill Belichick's biggest decision in the second half will be when to pull Brady.

THIRD QUARTER
HA! The Broncos DEFERRED the opening kickoff? And got scored on in under two minutes. Brilliant.

(YAWN) Denver 3-and-outs. Jerrod Mayo stuffs my McGahee idea and Tebow comes up dry going deep for Royal in double-coverage. Patriots take over in Bronco territory after another weak Colquitt punt. (YAWN)

Brady to Hernandez for his 6th TD. Nice move by Hernandez to get in. (YAAWN)

The Patriots are even rushing for 4.8 yards a carry tonight, and that's leaving out Hernandez' carries.

Speaking of leaving things out, I'm going straight to the look-ahead. This game's been over for a while now. Scoring updates will be limited to the header unless something earth-shaking happens.

Much as I'd like to, I can't avoid giving Star of the Game to Brady, who's 23-31-313 with SIX TDs as I write this. Over 40 fantasy points in a game, you're pretty much automatic SotG. (Gronkowski IS sitting on 30, though.)

And I have as little idea as anyone else alive what the Broncos will be looking for in the next draft, because I have as little idea as anyone else what that team is going to look like next year. Watching yet another weak popup by Colquitt, they might want to think about somebody who can punt at sea level. They should be set for a long time at DE with Elvis Dumervil and Von Miller, though they've been invisible tonight. Their secondary was fine until Brian Dawkins got injured, so safety's a legitimate consideration. If the right RB is available in the first round, I'd consider going with him and lightening my load of Knoshown Moreno. If they stay with Tebow at QB, I can't imagine drafting WRs will do a whole lot of good, but they'd be in line to make a good addition in the first round.

And so the Patriots have finally beaten their recent first playoff-game jinx, and will host the AFC Championship Game next week. They looked well-nigh unbeatable tonight, and my Saints-Ravens Super Bowl is blown now, so I can feel free to pick the Patriots over them or the Texans next week if I want to. Problem is, I still don't want to. We've seen strong defenses and power offenses take the Patriots out of the playoffs too often lately. Picking Houston over New England would be well too aggressive for my taste, but I like Baltimore's chances if they don't lay an egg tomorrow. They can keep Brady off the field and should give him much more trouble with their front seven than Denver did tonight with theirs.

Postscript: Anybody shocked Belichick classlessly left Brady in the entire game with the Patriots winning by 5 TDs? Wish I could say I was.

-$-

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