Rams offense after 14 weeks

Jim Thomas' article this morning about this year's Rams' near-record futility on offense reminded me that I haven't done a rankings post in a long time. So here's where the Ram offense stands in the NFL after 14 games...

Scoring offense: Back in DEAD DEAD LAST, nearly two points a game behind the Chiefs in 31st place. The Rams average 11.9 pathetic points a game. As Thomas wrote this morning, they are on pace to score 190 points this season. That would be only the second time since World War II that the Rams have failed to crack 200 points. The other time? Steve Spagnuolo's first season, 2009, 175 points.

And when Thomas says the Rams are "on pace", that's not accounting for their last two opponents, Pittsburgh and San Francisco, being the top two scoring defenses in the NFL. The Rams may score negative points between now and the rest of the season.

Put it this way. The Rams are at 166 points, the Chiefs at 192. The Rams won't pass the Chiefs if Kansas City takes the rest of the year off. The 2011 Rams will be lucky to pass the 2009 Rams.

More fun stats: (first one from Thomas)
The 1982 Rams scored 200 points. Despite only playing NINE games that year because of the NFL strike.
The 1999 and 2000 Rams scored their 166th point in week 5. The 2000 Rams had 160 points after 4 weeks. The slowpoke 2001 team took till week 6.

Touchdowns: Logically, the Rams are also dead last in the league in TDs, with 15. As Bernie Miklasz pointed out earlier this week, LeSean McCoy of the Eggles has 20 this season by himself. (Most of those fuckers against my fantasy football team.) Rob Gronkowski, with 16, also has scored more TDs this season than the entire Ram offense.

Total yards: 30th (285.3). They may end up getting passed by the Colts, but the Jagwires are nearly 30 yards behind.

Third-down conversion: LAST in the league at 26.9%.
Red zone TD%: 30th in the league at 35.7%.

Passing
Yards: 27th with 185.9. 145 yards per game worse than the Saints. Again, they'll be no worse than 30th here. The Broncos are over 25 yards behind, the Jagwires nearly 50.
Team passer rating: 30th at 71.3, in real danger of being passed by the Colts at 71.2. 31st is safe, the Jagwires are 9+ points back.
Sacks: The Rams have allowed a LEAGUE-WORST 49 sacks, 2 ahead of Arizona.
Interceptions: One bright spot: the Rams' 8 INTs are third-best in the league, behind only San Francisco and Green Bay.
TDs: LAST in the league in passing TDs with 8. The Jagwires are next with 11. Aaron Rodgers has 40.
Yards per attempt: Tied for 29th at 6.0. Jagwires are last again, 5.4.

Sam Bradford will finish 2011 - I do assume he's finished - with a passer rating of 70.5, 30th in the league, despite throwing only 6 INTs. He's behind terrible QBs like Rex Grossman (71.4), Christian Ponder (72.3) and Colt McCoy (74.6). Tarvaris Jackson stands at 79.2. Tim Tebow's a terrible thrower, right? 83.6. Matt Moore has an 88.7 off the bench for Miami, 12th in the league. 2011 Rookies: Cam Newton 82.3, Andy Dalton 81.0. Former Ram Ryan Fitzpatrick, 80.8. I'll quit going on now. Sam Bradford's second season has been an utter disaster.

Rushing
Yards: 26th, 99.4 yards per game. Who was expecting the Titans and Giants to be running 31st and 32nd at this point of the season?
Per carry: 4.0 is good for a tie for 20th.
TDs: Way down in 29th with only 5. The Browns and Chiefs have 4.

Steven Jackson sits at 15th in the league in rushing, 34 yards short of his seventh straight 1000-yard season.

Brandon Lloyd, not surprisingly, is the Rams' leading receiver with 42 catches. That's 72nd-best in the league. Stupidly, though, that doesn't include his 19 catches in Denver, which would move him up to 26th. Pro-rated for his production with the Rams, he'd be tied with Larry Fitzgerald for 23rd.

Lloyd's 554 yards with the Rams rank him 66th in the league. Add his Denver production, he'd be 24th. Pro-rate his Rams production and he'd be 22nd.

Josh Brown's 79% FG accuracy rate is near the bottom of the league, 25th if you weed out players with very few attempts. I have no trouble McQuaideing Brown after this season, though he does have another year left on his contract.

Nobody has more punts this year than Donnie Jones' 92. But his gross average, 44.2, is only 22nd in the league, and his net of 36.5 is a horrifying 29th, after you take out punters with very few attempts. The Rams are one of only four teams to have given up 2 or more punt return TDs. Carolina is worst in the league with 3, but since they'll likely be kicking RIGHT TO Antonio Brown and Ted Ginn the next two weeks, the Rams have got a shot at passing them. Jones is a free agent after this season and I see little reason not to McQuaide him, too. The Rams can get just as crappy performances out of special teams a whole lot cheaper.

While we're at it, let's think about McQuaideing Jake McQuaide himself. Funny how the Rams junked Chris Massey in training camp when he's the special teams player they should have kept.

Defensive stats when I get time.

-$-