Sportswriter Hall of Shame

(4/8/07)
This is so stupid. I can't even believe something like this is up for argument. It's like arguing whether the sun rises in the east. But Paul Attner of the Sporting News continues to cling to the moronic notion that Marshall Faulk is not a lock to be elected to the Hall of Fame, and idiotically insists in the April 2nd issue that he "certainly won't be voted in during his first year of eligibility in 2011." Apparently, whatever Marshall ever did to piss Attner off was really good, because he's sticking to this harebrained idea with bulldog-like tenacity.

It's thinking like Attner's that breathes life into the idea that you should have to pass an intelligence test to vote in a public election. Thankfully, Attner is not one of the writers who actually vote for the Hall of Fame, and with statements as foolish and uninformed as his, steps should be taken to ensure he never becomes a member of that panel. Unfortunately, the best the HoF voters can do in 2011 is prove they are not as colossally idiotic as Attner when they make the obvious move and induct Marshall on the first ballot. And if they don't do it, they should all be replaced by monkeys, because even the stupidest of monkeys can figure out that Marshall Faulk is a first-ballot Hall of Famer.

It's not like Marshall's case for the Hall of Fame is difficult to make. Compare him to Marcus Allen, an obvious and first-ballot Hall-of-Famer (2003). Faulk has more rushing yards, more receptions, more receiving yards, a better average per carry, more Pro Bowl appearances, the same number of Super Bowl rings, and scored only 8 fewer TDs than Marcus despite playing four fewer seasons.

That's not meant to be a knock on Marcus Allen's career at all. But it does illustrate that even setting the bar that high, Marshall Faulk still clears it pretty easily. By the way: Faulk has more career TDs than Jim Brown, Walter Payton and Barry Sanders; more combined yards than Sanders, Allen, Tony Dorsett and Curtis Martin; more rushing yards than Franco Harris and OJ Simpson. He broke the record for TDs in a season held by Emmitt Smith. Faulk finished his career only 52 receptions behind Steve Largent, the last WR inducted into the Hall of Fame on the first ballot, in two fewer seasons. Every player mentioned in this paragraph, by the way, was a first-ballot Hall of Famer, or should be a mortal lock for the distinction. Just like Marshall.

There are a lot of windmills out there to tilt at, Paul Attner. The one you've picked in this case is particularly dumb. Find another lost cause.