Various computer problems gave me about 2 minutes to write a pregame blurb. Arizona's going to be without Anquan Boldin, and they don't usually have a running game to speak of... how are they going to overcome all that to reverse last week's blowout at the Packers' hands? Who'll win the key matchups - Larry Fitzgerald vs. Charles Woodson? Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie (DRC from here on in) vs. Greg Jennings? Will this really be Kurt Warner's last game? Stay tuned, and cross your fingers that I can get through ONE LOUSY FREAKING GAME without my computer, browser, TiVo, satellite receiver, television or brain blowing up...
FIRST QUARTER
Roof is closed in Arizona, though it was originally reported as open. Is that really that hard a detail to get right? Buck and Aikman with the call for Fox.
Jordy Nelson gets schmeared at the 20 with the opening kickoff return. And, well, here's a start, and it looks like I'm following my 2-0 yesterday with an 0-2 today. Aaron Rodgers rolls right on the first play of the game, fires for Donald Lee just before he hits the sideline, but Karlos Dansby steps in front of the pass and tips it to DRC for an interception. Arizona ball at the 40. Stupid play by Rodgers. The Ravens and Big Dead are intent on destroying my postseason bracket again this year. I may have started 2-0 but don't rule out another 3-8.
Warner hits Jhereme Urban on 3rd-and-8 to keep Arizona's first drive alive. Green Bay left him wide open in the flat. Beanie Wells plows up the middle off the LT's block down to the 10. A false start sets them back but Warner hits Steve Breaston on a slant at the 5. A screen to LeRod Stephens-Howling gets them inside the 1. I'm not calling him The Hyphen out of respect to Nate Hobgood-Chittick. Tim Hightower dives in for the game's opening TD.
Big Dead 7, Packers 0.
Rodgers had better pull his head out in a hurry.
Nelson's down at the 20 again despite breaking half a dozen tackles. After a 10-yard run by Ryan Grant, Donald Driver gets the ball ripped out of his hands by Dansby for another turnover. Arizona ball at the Packer 20. For crying out loud. This is heading toward a blowout in the opposite direction from last week. And Dansby's making an early run at game MVP.
Early Freaking Doucet is left WIDE OPEN over the middle for a 15-yard TD catch from Warner. Cards can already start preparing for New Orleans. Just like the noon game, only one team has come to play this evening.
Big Dead 14, Packers 0.
Nelson's taken down at the 15 this time. A late hit moves them back inside the 10. Oh the humanity. Green Bay does manage a first down without a turnover for once, thanks to an Ahman Green run. Rodgers misses a bomb to Greg Jennings, who had Ralph Brown scorched, on the next 2nd down, then gets mangled by Bertran Berry on 3rd down. Green Bay can't even get the punt off without a false start. Amazing how bad they look compared to just last week.
When we return, Clay Matthews blows up a flea-flicker attempt for a sack/fumble, but Arizona recovers, and Fitzgerald gets the first on a slant the next play. Now Warner hits Ben Patrick over the middle for 22. With Boldin out, the Packers should have been smart enough to look out for the TEs today. Arizona already back in FG range. Green Bay leaves Breaston wide open when Trammond Williams leaves him to cover the RB in the flat. Another nice gain and Arizona's back inside the 10. After Nick Collins shuts down Wells outside for a loss, Warner settles for a completion to Doucet at the 5 and Arizona settles for another FG. Kurt waits a half second, Fitzgerald was breaking open in the end zone. The lead grows anyway.
Big Dead 17, Packers 0.
The next Arizona kickoff is STUPIDLY short and Green Bay brings it to the 38. Rodgers has to throw the 1st-down pass away with two blitzers coming at him up the middle. Grant only gets a couple the next play and another punt, or a turnover, appears imminent to start the second quarter.
End of first quarter: Big Dead 17, Packers 0.
SECOND QUARTER
Live by the blitz, die by the blitz, and Arizona dies here as Rodgers hits Jennings deep over the middle for 27. Chike Okeafor chases him down for a sack at the AZ 38 the next play. The Packers follow that with a useless short run to get to 3rd-and-11. Rodgers overthrows James Jones popping open over the deep middle. They give Mason Crosby a shot at a 54-yard FG, but he barely misses to the right. Not going to be a good night in Wisconsin.
Arizona gets to start at their 44 after the missed FG. Heh, the Fox Robot just appeared to stick his arm up an Arizona cheerleader's skirt. Yes, I am 12 years old. Ryan Pickett appears to steal the ball from Hightower on a screen but the refs called Hightower down. Making that even worse is an end-around to Breaston for 27. Fitzgerald blocked one DB and Breaston juked another. Perhaps mistakenly thinking he was still playing on my fantasy team, though, Fitzgerald fumbles the next play. Nice play by Woodson to strip it out, and Matthews returns it nearly to midfield.
Hey, look at that great teammate Kurt Warner cussing out Fitzgerald all the way off the field for a play that was really more a great defensive play than anything awful or stupid or lazy that Fitzgerald did.
Grant bounds away for 10 after the turnover. They go to him again on a pitch right and Gerald Hayes draws a penalty for a not-very-flagrant example of a horse-collar tackle. Green Bay at the Arizona 27. Grant makes a great cutback left with both teams moving hard to the right for 20 more. He obviously knows he's not playing for my fantasy team today. Green gets stuffed, and Berry gets his second sack of the day, to make it 3rd-and-goal from the 12. DPI on Michael Adams defending Driver puts the Packers at the 1. Good, and obvious, call. I don't know what the f*ck the Arizona crowd is booing about. Perhaps they have never heard that the NFL has a penalty for pass interference. (Especially offensive PI, given the garbage Fitzgerald gets away with sometimes.) Rodgers eventually sneaks across for Green Bay's first score.
Big Dead 17, Packers 7.
Aikman eventually figures out that Warner was yelling at Doucet earlier, not Fitzgerald. This has been an awful, mistake-filled broadcast by him and Buck so far. I mean, they didn't even know the dome was closed at the start of the game! They're so bad I suspect one or both of them is drunk right now.
Just under 7 minutes till halftime - another stop is critical for the Packers right now. LSH stopped at the 20 on the kick return.
OK, that's the silliest product feature I have heard of in some time. Did I hear that right?
TurboTax with GPS?
Freaking Fox. They say the playoff games are 2:30 Saturday and 11:00 Sunday. Is that kickoff? The pregame show? Probably the latter, but I'm going to have to tune in to make sure because they're intentionally unclear about it. Jackasses.
Hey, check out Brandon Chillar with the cheap late hit on Warner!
Hey, check out drunken Joe Buck totally butchering Dick Vermeil's famous quote after Trent Green got hurt in August 1999. Joe thinks Dick said "we're going to play Kurt Warner, and we're going to go on?" I appreciate the reminiscing, but could we get within 20% of the actual quote?
WE WILL RALLY BEHIND KURT WARNER. AND WE WILL PLAY GOOD FOOTBALL!
I sure hope Fox can sober up Buck and/or Aikman at halftime. Or during this lengthy injury timeout for Johnny Jolly.
Wells is running well tonight and gains 9 off LT for a first down across midfield. Then he stutter-stops and starts for 5 more. Now LSH is in for a surprising draw play, and he breaks about 5 tackles for 15 more. Look out now, the Big Dead are running! And a face mask penalty on Atari Bigby, too. Green Bay desperately needs to hold Arizona to a FG. They're at the 12 with 3:00 to go. Nick Collins stuffs Wells for -3. That's one big play. That's it, though, at least for Green Bay. Doucet takes a short pass over the middle, spins off a terrible tackle attempt, and runs through another one for a 15-yard TD. Start the bus, Packers. Your season is over. I think that was Collins with the awful tackle attempt.
Big Dead 24, Packers 7.
Doucet has more career postseason TDs than regular-season TDs.
2:16 till halftime. Can't come soon enough in Wisconsin. Good grief, Nelson loses the ball on the kick return. Green Bay's highly lucky to come up with that one. A five-yard pass to Jennings takes us to the 2:00 warning.
BRUTAL DROP by James Jones makes it 3rd-and-5. That's followed by quite a crazy play. Rodgers shrugs off a corner blitz by Adams with his free hand, then flings deep for Jermichael Finley, who has to win a wrestling match with Brian McFadden to haul in a 44-yard bomb. Somehow they decide McFadden was the party committing interference on the play, and Green Bay is in business at the Arizona 26. Finley then takes a short middle pass down to the 9 as the Packers beat another Arizona blitz. Rodgers has to spend a timeout with 0:57 in the half. A shovel pass to Brandon Jackson is a failure, followed by a quick screen to Jennings down to the 4, where it's 3rd-and-goal with 0:14 left as Green Bay calls their 2nd timeout. 3rd-and-goal, Rodgers ends up scrambling, and though he lets go, Darnell Dockett gets called for Arizona's 2nd horse-collar tackle of the game. Thought it was OK if you let go. There's only 4 seconds left, though, so they're stuck with a short FG as the half expires.
Halftime score: Big Dead 24, Packers 10.
Arizona seems in good position to hold this lead, because they've shown they can run on the Packers today, especially with Wells. They're mainly going to have to avoid killing themselves to hold on to this win, and you know how that goes sometimes. Arizona's doing a terrific job on the Packer receivers, so for about the hundredth time this weekend, I'm going to say that the team losing at halftime has to start hitting their TEs and RBs more in the passing game. Rodgers was doing that at the end of the half, though, so maybe Green Bay will be the first trailing team this weekend to give us a good second half. They'd better start tackling a lot better, though.
THIRD QUARTER
Passes to Doucet and LSH get Arizona quickly back to midfield. Hightower sweeps left for 9, and Green Bay better come up with a stop, fast. DPI on Woodson wasn't my idea there. Neither was Woodson falling down in the middle of the field and letting Fitzgerald get away for a 33-yard TD. They both tangled up and went down but Fitzgerald got up quicker, and was wide open when Warner stepped up out of good pressure and found him. Just once next year I'd like to see a Ram QB step up for a big completion like Warner just did. Well, a lot more than once, actually.
Big Dead 31, Packers 10.
Also, by the way, this game is over. Sure looks like I didn't learn my lesson at all from betting against the Ravens and Big Dead last postseason.
DROP by Jennings to start the next drive. Just like the other winning teams this weekend, the Arizona secondary is having a terrific game. Incomplete out route for Finley, split wide but well-covered by McFadden. Great pass by Rodgers on the roll to Finley over the middle for 19, though. Adams interferes with Driver to give Green Bay another first down near midfield. Arizona looks confused the next play, and Driver exploits that by taking a catch off an underneath route for 13. Jennings then takes a sideline route 34 yards inside the 5, taking advantage of DRC playing for the interception. Should have been maybe a 9-yard play. Adrian Wilson blows up a screen to Chad Kuhn for -3. For all the FFL TDs he and Spencer Havner vultured this season, it serves him right. Donald Lee loses a TD pass that hit him in the stomach. 3rd-goal, Jennings beats McFadden with an amazing one-handed grab of a back-shoulder throw. Outstanding concentration. The Packers get their pulse back for now.
Big Dead 31, Packers 17.
Lots of time left; we're still only about halfway through the 3rd.
GREEN BAY COMPLETELY SURPRISES ARIZONA WITH AN ONSIDE KICK. It's recovered by Brandon Underwood. THAT's how you play from behind in a playoff game, Belichick! Arizona had no idea it was coming.
Grant takes a flare pass for 9 on 2nd down to set up 3rd-and-1 at midfield. THEY'RE THROWING ON THIRD AND ONE, and HAVNER DROPS IT. GAH! on the call; GAH! on the execution, despite a pretty throw by Rodgers. Packers go for it on 4th down; and #71 and Kuhn part the Red Sea for Ahman Green's first down run. I'd know who 71 is if I could trust NFL.com not to crash my freaking browser. I think it's Darren Colledge? Hold on, I'll Google it. No, Google doesn't work for this question. It thinks I want stats for the 1971 Packers. Dammit!
Meanwhile, Finley burns Wilson after a short pass for a big gain inside the 10, but a holding call against Donald Driver moves it back to the 21. The Big Dead are back on their heels. Grant smashes off left tackle for 7, then gets them a first down at the 11. Rodgers rolls out from there and hits Jordy Nelson at the 2, and Nelson gets past McFadden's bad attempt to shove him out of bounds and gets in for the TD. FINALLY, we have a game this weekend.
Big Dead 31, Packers 24.
I should have looked it up on Wikipedia sooner. THAT won't crash my browser. The big block on that 4th down was by Josh Sitton.
Still 4:07 left in the 3rd. This kick is deep, and LSH brings it out to the 28. And so much for Green Bay getting a stop. Warner hits Doucet for 15, then Wells sails around right end for 42 yards, down to the Packer 15. The key block? Dan Freaking Kreider, who couldn't block to save his life in St. Louis last year. Nice block downfield by Breaston, too. He could be moping because Doucet's getting Boldin's action today instead of him, but instead, he's just making plays. Arizona then catches the Packers with too many on the field. As they have been all day, Green Bay is again desperately in need of a stop. From the 11, Arizona gets a TD thanks to refereeing that's brutal on both ends. Warner's hit by Johnny Jolly as he throws, and the referee somehow turns that into roughing the QB. Then Larry Fitzgerald gets away with BLASTING Charles Woodson to the ground at the goal line, and whirls away from that BRUTAL OPI to catch the duck Warner let loose. That should have been an Arizona penalty, not a Packer penalty. Make your tee times for the rest of January, Scott Green.
Big Dead 38, Packers 24.
Still 2:04 left in the third quarter, as this game promises to take until Tuesday. Rodgers hits Jennings up the seam for 20 at the Arizona 45. 10 more to Driver, who has only 14 receiving yards today. The third quarter ends with a crap handoff to Green for a whole yard.
End of third quarter: Big Dead 38, Packers 24.
FOURTH QUARTER
Green Bay starts the 4th quarter BY HANDING OFF AGAIN, and Brandon Jackson gets about 4. I assume this is four-down territory. Driver can't pull in a slightly-overthrown out route on 3rd down. Pack will go for it. THE BIG DEAD ARE IDIOTICALLY BLITZING ON 4TH AND 5, and James Jones burns game LVP candidate McFadden by wheeling away with a short pass and taking it 35 yards for a TD. MAN has McFadden sucked today.
We have a game again.
Big Dead 38, Packers 31.
Warner gets forever to throw to start the next drive and hits Breaston wide open over the middle for 17. But now they run twice despite Warner's 155.4 passer rating, and they face 3rd-and-6. Looked like Jolly made the big play to drag Hightower down on 2nd down for no gain. And Green Bay gets their stop as Warner's throw is tipped away by Woodson with a brilliant play. We'll get Arizona's first punt of the day, and it doesn't even appear to go 30 yards. Here come the Packers!
Green Bay at their 33, 11:53 to play. In regulation. Rodgers gets plenty of time to take a deep drop, and Finley beats Gerald Hayes badly for a 38-yard catch. Chad Clifton is injured, though. After the injury timeout, Rodgers pump-fakes the entire Arizona secondary into thinking he's throwing to Lee in the flat, and Driver gets wide open behind that for a pass up the sideline and doesn't get shoved out of bounds until he gets down to the 1. Chad "The Vulture" Kuhn churns it in from there, and we have a postseason classic on our hands. Crosby's PAT makes it 38-38. Incredible!
The turning point of this game was Mike McCarthy going for the onside kick that Bill Belichick, the supposed strategic expert, wouldn't go for in the first game. Shut up, Aikman, I started typing this before you started talking about it! Except the insulting-Belichick part. Which is totally valid, I might add.
Packers 38, Big Dead 38.
We return to Warner overthrowing Breaston very badly on first down. He does hit Fitzgerald for 6, but here's Green Bay now with a second straight chance at a 3-and-out. Woodson then blows a tackle on Hightower in the flat and lets him get away for a first down. Ouch. Arizona at their 33. Nick Barnett ankle-tackles Wells and holds him to 3. Warner lobs to Hightower up the sideline for another first down; Hightower nearly sprung it for a big gain, Arizona exploiting a zone blitz that had Cullen Jenkins covering him. Yep, that's a rematch. Matthews and B-CHILL then stuff Hightower for a 2-yard loss. 8:00 to go in regulation. Ben Patrick gets wide open in front of A.J. Hawk to cross midfield and leave Arizona 3rd-and-a-five-dollar-footlong. Oops, someone's been watching too many commercials. Wells just barely eats that up. Warner then goes deep for Breaston and throws a perfect pass over Trammond Williams' outstretched hand for about 30. They're at the Packer 20 with 5:45 left. Packers again desperately in need of a stop. They don't get it. Breaston's wide open over the middle at the goal line for Warner's 5th TD pass of the day. 4:55 to play.
Big Dead 45, Packers 38.
Williams brings the kick back to the 30. 5-yard pass to Jones costs Green Bay 30 seconds or more. Adams stops the clock by interfering with Jennings, though, on a short route. Packers at the 40. Great rush by Berry and #53 flushes Rodgers but he scrambles across midfield for 13. Rodgers makes an impressive off-balance throw up the sideline to Jennings, who makes an amazing catch at the Arizona 25. What a freaking game. McCarthy saves a delay-of-game with a sideline timeout call. Draw to Grant gets 5. Is Green Bay trying to make sure Arizona doesn't get the ball back? 2:30 left. Rodgers gets in trouble, chucks and ducks, and Wilson and McFadden nearly intercept it. McFadden comes off the field, which honestly doesn't hurt Arizona's coverage that much. Rodgers hits Finley near the 10 at the 2:00 warning.
Kind of a ripoff that today's winner is going to have a short week and play the Saints on Saturday. I realize there's the matchup sent down by God himself of Favre vs. Cowboys, but come on, either of these teams vs. New Orleans is a marquee matchup fit for a Sunday.
We return as Rodgers hits Havner at the 5, and he whirls and beats DRC, who had stumbled, for the TD. Was hardly expecting that matchup to produce a Packer TD. 1:52 left, I, like Troy, was expecting some running here. That's FAR too much time to give Warner and the Big Dead, isn't it?
Packers 45, Big Dead 45. For now.
Remember what Mike Tomlin did in the Packers-Steelers game in the regular season? Wonder if Mike McCarthy's considering another onside kick here. No, they kick a dribbler. Warner sets up shop at his 21 with 1:46 left, and Arizona takes an immediate timeout. ? I'm going to assume Arizona needs about 45 yards to set up Neil Rackers. 10 to Ben Patrick. 1:30. False start/illegal snap on Kyle Sendlein at 1:19. Warner finds Breaston deep over the middle, WIDE OPEN again, for 24 out to midfield. They stay in hurry-up and Kurt hits Fitzgerald on the sideline at the Packer 37. 30 seconds left. Short pass to LSH for 3, and a timeout with :22 to go. Rackers' long for the season is only 49? Yikes. Better get at least 10 more. They're now at the 33. Doucet gets all the way down to the 16, dragging three Packers after taking a quick slant from Warner. Woodson blew the tackle trying to strip the ball out. On comes Rackers for a chippie with 14 seconds left.
RACKERS YACKS THE KICK WELL LEFT LIKE HE'S MIKE VANDERJAGT OR SOMETHING.
HOLY FREAKING CATS.
WHAT IS IT WITH KICKERS THIS POSTSEASON?!?!?!?
SAY HELLO TO OVERTIME.
WOW, WOW, WOW!
I mean, for Christ's sake, Rackers. That's a FG any kicker worth a damn should hit in his sleep, let alone miss by 50 freaking feet! Arizona could get bumped out of the playoffs because their kicker's not as good as Shaun Freaking Suisham!
(FIRST) OVERTIME
And Green Bay has won the overtime coin toss.
Packers would be stupid to get conservative now; keep chucking it. They start at their 20. Play-action bomb just misses Jennings, who had Antrell Rolle beaten deep. Love the call. Grant turns a dumpoff into a first down, but Darren Colledge is called for holding. 2nd-20 at the 10. Rodgers dances out of trouble and dishes a blind pass to Jones for 15.
OH MY GOD IT'S OVER AND ARIZONA HAS WON IN ABOUT THE MOST FREAKISH WAY POSSIBLE.
Adams comes around RT on the blitz and Dansby blitzes up the middle, bull-rushing the center Scott Wells back into Rodgers. Rodgers tries to pull his pass attempt back down because Dansby's leaping and ruining his passing lane. Adams hits him, and when Rodgers instinctively tries to save the now-loose football with his foot....
He kicks it right to Dansby. Karlos Dansby runs the fumble back for a TD and Arizona wins 51-45.
Holy. Freaking. Cow.
Final in overtime: Big Dead 51, Packers 45. Kurt's not dead yet.
MVP: With respect to Dansby, who the heck did you think the author of "RamView" was going to pick? Of course I'm picking Kurt Warner! He threw 5 TDs and had to have thrown for about 400 yards in another postseason performance of a lifetime.
Looking ahead: And I'm picking Kurt again next week. I should have paid heed to my prediction in RamView. You don't bet against Peyton Manning and you don't bet against Kurt Warner. Sure, at first blush, Arizona doesn't look like the kind of power-rushing team that's been beating the Saints down the stretch. Tell it to Beanie Wells. If Wells holds on to the ball, look for Warner vs. Favre a couple of weeks from now.
Tragic ending for Green Bay, another team this weekend whose holes were largely created by injuries during the season. They REALLY missed Al Harris today, for instance. I'd work a lot on that offensive line in the offseason if I were in the Packers front office.
What a brilliant way to end a playoff weekend! I'll be here on and off through the week and will definitely be here 2:30-ish next Saturday for what should be another classic between Arizona and New Orleans, followed by Ravens-Colts at 7:00.
P.S. OOH, they could have called a blow to the head or a face mask on Adams that last play, couldn't they have? Yikes.
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