NFC Wild Card Playoff: Cowboys 34, Eagles 14

PREGAME
So, will the Cowboys make it three in a row over Philly and win their first playoff game since 1996? (One of my favorite NFL trivia facts: The Rams have won six postseason games since the Cowboys last did.) Or will Andy Reid continue his playoff first-round magic? Albino and Collinsworth bring us the action after I get done gawking at Faith Hill in a mini-dress that went out of style 15 years ago but still looks damn good on her.

FIRST QUARTER
34 degrees in Dallas (nice global warming there, AL GORE), where they're keeping the roof closed tonight. That's what I'm talking about.

Not a sharp start by Dallas, as Felix Jones sleepwalks the kickoff return to only the 16 and Kyle Kosier follows with a false start. They beat a 3rd-down blitz with a flare to Tashard Choice, who defeats Macho Harris' poor tackle to barely get a first down. Then a quick screen to Roy Williams - already his second catch - is good for 12-13 more. That's followed by a draw to Jones, and Dallas is doing a lot already to defeat the Eagles' blitz-happy ways. Choice sweeps left for 9 and another first down. Bubble screen to Jones with another blitz coming is good for 30 more down to the 15, as Jones tightropes the last 15 yards down the sideline. Well-blocked downfield, too. Jason Witten kills them with two penalties, though, a false start, then an OPI that took away a screen to Kevin Ogletree down to the 2. Then an Eagles sack, keyed by Tracy White storming up the middle unblocked by just-standing-here center Andre Gurode, puts the Cowboys out of FG range. From a TD chance to nothing in no time flat.

George W and Emmitt (Oh, It's Baad) Smith in the same luxury box? That is officially the place in the world I most want to be right now.

Not a dynamic start for the Eagles: McNabb throws a one-hopper and Leonard Weaver hits the middle of the line for a couple. Cowboys blitz hard on 3rd down and McNabb throws right to Bradie James, who can't pull down the INT. 3-and-out.

Dallas starts from midfield after the punt, and Jones immediately zips through the middle for 20 behind Gurode's block. Nobody blocks Chris Gocong on the next play, though, Romo tries to bootleg right into him, and Philly gets a 9-yard sack. Very well-disguised play as Gocong stormed the line extremely late. The Cowboys follow that with two lame draw plays and punt again. They kill it inside the 5.

Cheap-shot artist Ken Hamlin lets the Eagles out of jail with a blow to Brent Celek's head, moving them to the 24. McNabb sends Philly back in the other direction by taking a huge sack for -14 after finding nobody downfield. Send in the punter.

Just like last week, Dallas' D is dominating the game. If Romo can get through a drive without getting sacked, the Cowboys will be on their way. They'll start near midfield again after Patrick Crayton nearly breaks away on the punt return.

We end the quarter, though, on Dallas' FIFTH penalty, another false start. It'll be 3rd-and-8. Will the Cowboy offense stop shooting itself in the foot long enough to take advantage of their defensive domination?

End of first quarter: No score.
SECOND QUARTER
Tony Romo hits Miles Austin on a slant out to the Eagle 40 for a big first down. Austin beats Sheldon Brown on a TD bomb the next play. Brown breaks it up, but it's pretty clearly DPI, setting Dallas up at the 1. Dallas play-actions from the goal line, and Romo rolls right and hits somebody called John Phillips on a quick out at the goal line for a TD. Shaun Suisham hits the PAT, a minor upset in itself.

The Eagles are in danger of getting blown out here, believe it or not. They need to respond pronto.

Cowboys 7, Eagles 0.

Macho Man doesn't set Philly a very good tone, getting back-body-dropped by Ogletree inside the 20. But after a 7-yard run by Weaver, Philly has their answer, and his name is... apparent St. Louis darling Michael Vick. (60% of a recent stltoday poll voted yes to the idea of Vick QBing the Rams next season.) Off play-action, Vick hits Mizzou Tiger Jeremy Maclin with a pretty sideline pass at the 45, and he wheels away from Mike Jenkins' PATHETIC coverage and sprints off with a 76-yard TD. Jenkins, who fell, looked so bad on that play Deion Sanders is probably on his way down to the Dallas sideline to take his number back. Proving again that truth is stranger than fiction, Philly's right back into it thanks to Michael Vick, Playoff Hero.

Eagles 7, Cowboys 7.

The Eagles take Felix Jones down at the 15 on the kick return. Aaaand let the meltdown begin in Big D. Philly rushes 5, Juqua Parker beats Witten (who's having a terrible night) and Romo panics and throws an awful pass that's picked off by Sean Jones.

Or maybe not. The ball's loose for a moment and Wade Phillips challenges the call. I think it was a catch, but it's close and a lot better challenge than either one Marvin Lewis wasted in the first game.

Great challenge by Phillips, which may have saved the game for Dallas. Excellent replay by NBC from the back side shows Jones didn't possess the ball before it hit the ground. Great work by the head coach, the broadcasters and the referees, who I can't blame for missing that play live.

Momentum shifts further as Felix Jones' 10-yard run is enhanced by a face mask penalty on former Ram Will Witherspoon. Dallas out to the 40 now. Moise Fokou trips up Jones on 1st down, though, and the Eagles beat the TE (Martellus Bennett this time) on the blitz and hit Romo again to force an incompletion. Philly then shockingly backs everyone off on 3rd down and gets beat by Romo to Crayton for 18, beating Joselio Hanson. Dallas converts another 3rd down as Romo eludes the rush and Roy Williams eludes Assante Samuel (who's been very quiet tonight) for a sideline completion at the Eagle 20. Play-action pass to Witten gets Dallas down to the 1 as it looks like Quintin Mikell bit on the run. He and Brown are both down after the play, and Macho Man's also out with an injury suffered when he got flipped on that kickoff return. Andy Reid calls a timeout just so he can get a starter or two back on the field in his secondary. Tashard Choice dives right over the middle for a TD anyway. Advantage Dallas once again. Philly picked a couple of weird times not to blitz that drive and paid for it.

Cowboys 14, Eagles 7.

Hey, McNabb's back, with 9:12 to go in the half, and fires another poor pass at Brian Westbrook's feet. He draws DPI on Gerald Sensabaugh, though. Should I be this far into a game before mentioning a healthy Brian Westbrook for the first time? Two plays later, McNabb shows us the value of running the tire drill as he high-steps out of Demarcus Ware's dive at his ankles, but he throws a poor pass to Reggie Brown that Jenkins breaks up, then with Dallas' blitz blowing up the Eagles' right side, especially RG, he fires a useless two-yard pass on 3rd-and-4 to a heavily-covered Maclin. Crayton fields the punt at his ten and returns it across his 40. The Eagles have been succumbing to the heat on the sideline and look pretty gassed on defense right now. See if Dallas puts a coup de grace on them here before halftime.

Slant to Austin beats Sheldon Brown and an Eagle blitz for 36. Romo hits Roy Williams on another slant down to the 5 as they pick on Brown again. After Hanson has to tell Ed Hochuli the play clock ran out to get a delay-of-game call, Williams trips and falls on a quick screen that should have been a TD, and Romo way overthrows him in the corner of the end zone on 3rd down. Suisham hits from 26 - miraculous for him - to put Dallas up by 10. More a foie gras than a coups de grace.

Cowboys 17, Eagles 7.

McNabb chucks a first-down pass away deep under big pressure. You St. Louis Vick fans can probably forget it; they're probably calling for Vick to become the starter in Philly to start the second half.

Scratch that. Vick and Weaver blow a handoff and Bobby Carpenter falls on the loose ball for Dallas.

Felix Jones now pops outside for 13, breaking a Sheldon Brown tackle. Brown and McNabb are neck and neck for tonight's LVP. Miles Austin threw an awesome pancake block to spring Jones. Must be nice to have wide receivers who are a) physical and b) know what they're doing. Collinsworth picks up on Austin's huge block half a minute after I do. 2:00 warning, with Dallas threatening to score again.

Austin gets rewarded for that big block with a smoke pass behind Jason Witten's block for Dallas' third TD. Cue your blowout material, Chris and Al. Dallas can probably let a couple of coaches sneak out now and start working on Vikings film. That's going to be a hell of a game. Unlike this one.

Cowboys 24, Eagles 7.

Maclin returns the kickoff to the 25. Philly has 1:50 to do something, anything. A couple of catches by Jason Avant get them across midfield. McNabb bought a lot of time the second time and Avant was wide open. He's still just 3-9 for 34 yards, though.

And Bradie James just stripped Weaver after the catch for another turnover. Barring the return of Frank Reich, the Cowboys are getting off their playoff schnide tonight. They are dominating.

And RamView is, stunningly, on its way to a 2-for-2 day predicting games.

Dallas wasn't going anywhere after the fumble until Samuel's dumb personal foul put them at the Eagle 43. Dallas squelches that momentum with a hold on Leonard Davis. They sure have committed a lot of penalties this half, but they're dominating anyway. Philly then tries to give them one back with a Mikell DPI. Romo then tries to give it back by throwing a screen pass off Dmitri Patterson under huge pressure. JUST KNEEL ON IT ALREADY. The last minute of this half has taken about an hour to play. Romo hits Ogletree with a short pass at the Eagle 30 with :07 left to set up a FG attempt for Suisham. They're glad they didn't listen to me. Have to respect Dallas' decidedly non-Spagnuolian approach to the end of the half, actually trying to add to their score. Suisham amazingly splits the uprights from 48, which I'm sure initiated a lot of loud cursing in the Washington, D.C. metropolitan area.

Cowboys 27, Eagles 7.

Wow, who's been covering DeSean Jackson tonight? Didn't notice until Al Michaels said it, but he doesn't have a catch tonight. To the relief of Eagles fans everywhere, we finally reach halftime.

Halftime score: Cowboys 27, Eagles 7.

Well, all Dallas has to do in the second half is avoid one of the great all-time playoff meltdowns. The Eagles are losing badly because of the disfunctionality of their offense. I don't know what Celek's status is, but they could sure use him in the passing game. Replay that sentence for Westbrook. And where the hell has Jackson been? Philly can get back in it with some of the stuff that's been effective for Dallas against their blitz tonight - screens, draws, slant passes, but they don't seem to have any of it in their repertoire. At least give Jackson an end-around or two to get him into the game.

THIRD QUARTER
Philly's listening to me; their first play of the 2nd half is a screen to Celek. He breaks a tackle and gains 20. Anthony Spencer traps Shady McCoy for a loss, though, and McNabb's third-down pass is tipped at the line. Send in the punter. Rocca just barely misses having his kick check up at the 1 and it's a touchback instead.

Philly answers with a 3-and-out. McBriar's sky-high punt keeps Jackson from doing a lot with the return.

After a Jason Peters false start, they do finally try to get the ball to Jackson, but it's a deep ball into triple coverage, incomplete. Jackson finally gets his first catch on a shallow drag route. McNabb hits Maclin on an out route for 15 and a first as Jenkins again fails to stay on his feet. Dude, it's your home turf; can you figure out how to stay upright?

I've been hitting Dallas for all their penalties tonight, but the Eagles are over 100 yards now and just false-started AGAIN. McCoy gets them close to another first down with an inside handoff. McNabb hits Alex Smith, not the 49er QB, for another 1st down at the Dallas 45. The next third down, McNabb gets all night to throw but eventually gets trapped in the pocket and sacked by Anthony Spencer. Andy Reid should probably think about going for it here. He's down 20 with half the third quarter gone. But they punt instead, and Dallas will take over at their 11.

Philly's gotten beaten every time they turn off the blitz, and they do it again to let Dallas get a first down on a pass to Crayton for 10. Felix Jones sprints away from the entire Eagle defense for a 73-yard TD the next play. Man that kid is quick. The key block is by Davis, who makes the kick-out block even though he gets tripped on the pull. Jones takes that seam and is gone. He turns Hanson inside out after about 40 yards, and you can fuhgettaboutit. Game over, man, game over.

Cowboys 34, Eagles 7.

Jerry Jones and George W. Bush high-five on TV after that TD, guaranteeing no one from Philadelphia will ever vote Republican ever again (as if that many of them do now).

If Felix Jones could go more than two games without getting hurt for four, he'd be Chris Johnson.

A Cowboy blitz induces an awful throw by McNabb that Jenkins intercepts at midfield, then the dumbass loses the ball because he thinks he's Deion and tries to lateral it to Terrence Newman. Jackson recovers the loose ball at the Dallas 47. McNabb tries to take a ridiculous dive on a play being blown dead that's worse than any stunt you've ever seen a European soccer player try to pull. The stupid Dallas lineman should have let go of him three seconds earlier, but McNabb's lucky the NFL's got no intentional diving penalty. They run into 4th-and-3 at the Dallas 41. McNabb barely escapes a middle safety blitz but Maclin can only get one hand on his pass and it's incomplete.

Dallas ball with 3:42 left in the 3rd. Huge loss for Choice on a right pitchout. Romo scrambles for about 5 while all of Cowboy Nation poops their pants, and yes, I did know Jon Kitna is their backup QB without looking it up. Williams whiffs on a 3rd-down slant pass that hits Samuel in the face mask.

Eagles ball with 1:43 left in the 3rd. Eagles at their 11 after the punt. A slant to Jackson gets them out near midfield, then a screen to Westbrook into a blitz gets them 27 more, down to the Dallas 25 as the 3rd quarter ends. Where's that play been all game?

End of third quarter: Cowboys 34, Eagles 7.
FOURTH QUARTER
Hamlin's second personal foul of the drive - an earlier one was offset by one from Jackson after his aforementioned catch - sets Philly up 1st-and-goal at the 8. That was a nasty cheap shot he took at Maclin while he was on the ground. Vick's back in for Philly here but all that comes of it is an incomplete pass. Ware and Jason Hatcher sack McNabb on 2nd down, but on 3rd down, Hatcher gives Philly first-and-goal at the 4 with an illegal hands to the face penalty. Smoke pass to Jackson behind Celek's block finally gets Philly back on the board.

Cowboys 34, Eagles 14.

No onside kick from Philly, down three TDs with 13:30 left.

Jones converts a 3rd down on the ground, then Choice duplicates the feat. Choice dives for another first down to put Dallas at midfield with 9:00 left. They're not just running, but they're still methodically moving down the field. Would Andy Reid like to explain not kicking onside again? The Eagles finally get Dallas to punt from the Philly 43, but not before the Cowboys have taken a full EIGHT minutes off the clock.

Proving Andy Reid and Steve Spagnuolo are from the same coaching tree, Reid starts futilely calling timeouts at the end of a game he's losing in a blowout.

Wade Phillips should probably think about pulling his regulars, particularly Flozell Adams, who appears to be hurting everywhere on his body. 3:28 left. Dallas is just grinding the clock down with Choice and Jones anyway. They got down to the 6 before penalties hilariously drove them all the way back to the 40. That makes 228 total penalty yards tonight. We're down to 2:00 left, and let's face it, this game's been over for 2 hours anyway.

MVP: I'm glad Collinsworth mentioned the Cowboys' successful challenge with the game tied at 7 in the second quarter. I couldn't decide what defensive player to pick as game MVP until then (though I was leaning toward Newman for shutting down Jackson). Then I realized who completely earned the game ball today.

Wade Phillips.

If that interception had stood, Philly would have been back in imminent scoring position having just hit on the great bomb from Vick to Maclin. Instead Dallas drove on to a TD. Philly made a bunch of iffy play calls on defense, offense, and hell, even special teams today. It was Dallas with the heretofore postseason laughingstock Wade Phillips that won the coaching battle decisively today. With a nod to Jason Garrett as offensive coordinator (remember when he was the Rams' "secret candidate" in last year's head coaching search?), Phillips is the defensive coordinator. He engineered this win and made the key play of the game from the sideline.

Looking ahead: Dallas-Minnesota next week should be a classic. And Minnesota's in trouble. Dallas does everything well on defense that gave them trouble in losses this year to Pittsburgh, Arizona, and Carolina. Favre is going to have a lot of trouble with the Dallas blitz. It's up to Brad Childress and, most of all, Adrian Peterson to keep Brett out of trouble from that blitz. Philly had ZERO running game tonight. Minnesota has a lot different attack, though. This game is Peterson's moment to make himself a megastar or to become a postseason chump. It'll be a completely different game, too, since Minnesota's D is completely capable of turning the tables on Dallas next week and making them look like Philly did tonight. Dallas made enough mistakes (penalties) tonight, has enough shaky spots on their offensive line right now, Minnesota's got enough of a home-field advantage, and Peterson's ready enough to grab the brass ring, that I'll lean toward the Vikings next week.

Like Cincinnati in the first game, Philadelphia will be helped by getting healthier, although the rumor briefly popped up during the broadcast that they won't even re-sign Westbrook next season. Jackson, Maclin and Celek are very talented young receivers. They have a talented o-line. Plenty of talent on defense, too. I imagine one of their priority offseason moves will be to beef up the linebacking corps, where injuries this year forced them into trading for Witherspoon and pulling Jeremiah Trotter back out of mothballs. If they opt against signing Westbrook, RB becomes their top need. It was certainly one of their top weaknesses tonight. RamView's not terribly up on the upcoming draft beyond Ndamukong Suh, but you have to figure C.J. Spiller or Jahvid Best would look real good in Eagles jerseys next year, though better in Rams jerseys, of course.

Enough of the logorrhea; I'm off till noon tomorrow for Ravens-Patriots.

Bartender: I went 2-for-2 today! Drinks for everyone!