NFC Divisional Playoff: Eggles 23, Giants 11

PREGAME
Congratulations in advance to the Eggles, since I picked the Giants to win. I'll try not to dwell on my horrid Marty Schottenheimeresque postseason record any longer, but I can't make any promises.

Word from Brian Burwell is that Giants DC Steve Spagnuolo is still very much in the Rams' head coaching mix and that Billy Devaney's previous contacts with him are enough to push him into the second interview round. All fine and well, but I don't see the Rams waiting another 3 weeks to hire him, either. What a barrel to put a guy over... LOSE today or sacrifice another year in quest of your career goal.

FIRST QUARTER
It's not raining in New Jersey, but it's windy enough to blow the ball off the tee. And apparently that wind is at Ahmad Bradshaw's back, as he opens the game with a 65-yard kick return where the only Eggle who got close to him was David Akers, who forced him out to save a TD. Inexcusable, Bradshaw.

First offensive play, Steve Smith is open by five yards, already open more times than Steve Smith was last night (figure it out yourself), but the wind, which in fact is in the Giants' face, knocks the pass down short of him and he can't come up with it.
Brandon Jacobs up the middle for 7, after which Derrick Ward's dive after catching a swing pass comes up a yard short. Questionable spot, but the Giants go for it on 4th - the wind is too stiff to kick into - and Jacobs gets it over the left side.
Eli Manning throws a total wounded duck to somebody named Darcy Johnson at the 12. No, seriously, who the hell is that? That's a first down.
Jacobs up the middle for a couple, then the Eggles stuff him on 2nd down. 3rd and 8 from the 10.
Stewart Bradley takes Ward down in the left flat at the 4 to force 4th down. Nice tackle. Stewart's emerging as one of the league's up-and-comers.
John Carney's 22-yard FG gives the Giants the initial lead, 3-0.

Kickoff into the wind is very short. Quintin Demps breaks a tackle and gets out to the 33.
Yeah, let's cut right to another commercial break, shall we?
Giants blitz on 1st down; Donovan McNabb rolls away from it to his right and hits DeSean Jackson for 10 on the sideline. Another questionable spot.
Brian Westbrook gets buried trying to sweep left, losing 3.
Giants blitz heavy again and swallow up a dink pass to Correll Buckhalter for another minus 3.
Looked like yet another blitz and McNabb overthrows Kevin Curtis to force a punt.
Referee Mike Carey flags Philly for a false start on the punt.
Not a great start at all for the visitors, as Giants fans start an "Eagles suck!" chant.
Nice return by Domenic Hixon comes back on a couple of penalties. The Giants will be backed up by a piss-poor unnecessary "roughness" call on Kenny Phillips, who dared to give an Eggle a tiny shove out of bounds while blocking him. If that was roughness, I should get 15 yards every time I shave.

A GIANT DISASTER in the making. Eli Manning play-actions, rolls left and overthrows Hixon BADLY. Assante Samuel picks it off and returns it to the 2 yard line. A terrible throw, but Giant OC Kevin Gilbride better do a lot better job accounting for the wind. You've got freaking Brandon Jacobs, use him!

Westbrook's tough postseason on the ground continues as the Giants stuff a sweep left for -1.
McNabb has to throw the 2nd down pass away but the Giants get flagged for holding.
First and goal inside the 2, Westbrook gets maybe one on a leap.
McNabb daringly lunges the ball across the goal line to give the Eggles a 7-3 lead. Not a great postseason so far for the Manning family.

From halfway deep in his endzone, Bradshaw brings the kickoff out to the 20.
Quintin Mikell meets Ward in the backfield and stuffs him for no gain.
Ward again, up the middle for a couple.
Good pocket for Manning on 3rd down, and he hits Smith for 12 and the first down. Nice pass this time.
Ward gets nothing trying to sweep right from his 34. Troy Boy points out the great, awesome, most incredible fullback ever, Madison Hedgecock, getting beaten on the play.
Broderick Bunkley stuffs a run for 1, and it's 3rd and long again.
Manning gets a lot of time on 3rd down but is hit as he throws and he air mails one out of bounds. MVP of this game so far is the wind.
Giants corral Jackson at the 20 for no return on the punt. And Philly still committed an illegal block! Send them back to the 10.

Michael Johnson drops Westbrook for -1 to start the next possession. Maybe Westbrook should just try running in the wrong direction.
Eggle false start moves them back to the 5.
Buckhalter gets 4 on a draw. 3rd and 10.
McNabb nearly gets stripped in the pocket and fires it away deep and out of bounds. Spagnuolo seems to be blitzing on every play.
Hixon brings the punt back across midfield and gets DRILLED by Sean Considine at the 46. ANOTHER illegal block in the back means Hixon took the big hit for nothing. Giants are backed to their 36.
Jacobs rumbles for 12 off Chris Snee's good block on Bradley as the quarter ends.

SECOND QUARTER
Eli gets the wind at his back now near midfield, with the Giants trailing 7-3.
Jacobs cuts back for a couple to start the quarter.
Sweep left doesn't get much of anywhere. 3rd-and-7. Eggles are really getting the Giants into predictable passing situations.
I wrote that down before Joe Buck said it.
Manning rolls left and throws deep just beyond Smith's reach. Punt on the way by supposed Pro Bowler Jeff Feagles. Not a bad punt, though, Terrell Thomas dives and bats it back across the goal line and it's recovered at the 5. Not where Philly wants to be with the wind in their faces.

Westbrook up the middle for 1. The ball comes loose but he was down.
Under extreme pressure, McNabb clearly intentionally grounds the ball from his own end zone for a safety for New York. Eggles 7, Giants 5. Justin Tuck smoked Jon Runyan to get the pressure.

And let's give Feagles and Thomas credit for pinning the Eggles deep and setting that safety up. What a stupid decision to throw from that part of the field, btw, Marty Mornhinweg.

And now Philly has to free kick into the wind, but Sav Rocca gets 50 yards on it and Bradshaw only returns it to about the 32.
Ward gets about 4 off the right side.
Manning drops back under no pressure and hits Kevin Boss for 5.9999 yards, good enough for a 1st.
Ward gets through the first wave of a blitz on a sweep right and gets 3.
Manning under no pressure again, but is nearly picked off again as Mikell steps in front of Boss. Wouldn't have counted anyway; illegal use of hands on Bradley. Nearly tore the helmet off a lineman's head.
From the Eggle 49, Manning wobbles a corner route to Boss for 21.
Jacobs can't get the right corner on 1st down, slowed down by Juqua Parker and finished off by Mikell. 2nd-and-11 as Manning calls NY's first timeout.
All of Manning's passes are wobbling like a warped 78-rpm record today. Giants pick up a blitz here but he overthrows Hixon near the goal line.
Another one of those plays where the snap comes AFTER the play clock runs out, but the Eggles bat down a lame screen pass to force 4th down.
Where Carney misses a 46-yard attempt wide right. Eggles take over in nice field position at the 36, then.

Tuck and I think Kevin Dockery stuff Buckhalter for no gain. Have the Giants NOT blitzed on a play today? McNabb hits Brett Celek for 5. 3rd down.
Eggles get a timeout from the bench just as the play clock runs out. What's with all the play-clock racing in these playoffs? Aren't these the best teams? Shouldn't they be able to get plays off in time?
They get this one off, a short pass to L.J. Smith for 5. First down at the 46.
That puts the Eggles across 20 total yards for the half. And they're winning!
Westbrook around right end for 2. If he can do that again, he'll finally have positive yardage for the day.
He does, and more, going off right guard for 7. I think that's 8 rushes for 6 yards now for Westbrook.
3rd-and-1. You know the Eggles are passing. No, shockingly, they run, Buckhalter dives up the middle for 2. First down in Giant territory with 5:00 till halftime.
McNabb falls but gets the handoff to Westbrook for 2.
McNabb gets forever to throw on 2nd down but fires it way too hard for Jackson to catch at the 32. Third down from the Giant 41.
Blitz gets to McNabb and he stupidly yaks up a lob that Dockery picks off for the Giants. Jackson never had a chance.

Giants from the 20. Jacobs motors off right tackle and rips away for 24. Good block by Hedgecock; better block by Shaun O'Hara.
5 more for Jacobs right after that.
Manning audibles to play-action, gets FOREVER to throw and hits Boss for 25. Boss got wide open because Stewart Bradley fell.
Rough first half for Bradley, who gets thumped by Jacobs on a 4-yard cutback run as the 2:00 warning arrives.

This is getting ridiculous how poorly officials are monitoring the clock. The last play didn't count because they ruled the clock reached 2:00 before the snap, when it didn't! How hard can it be to judge these clocks? Are they running around the stadium? Are they camouflaged? Do they display in Wingdings font and are hard to read?
At the 26, Philly's offside anyway; 1st-and-5 at the 21. Followed by an incomplete pass to Boss.
Manning passing again, for Boss again, and Mikell breaks it up and deflects it tantalizingly into the air, but no one can field the pop up. 3rd-and-5 from the 21 as the Giants call their 2nd timeout.
A clear illegal formation on the Giants is not called - both tackles were two yards off the LOS - but Manning hits Ward for only 4. 1:38 left. The clock's stopped forever; did the Giants call their last timeout?
35-yard FG by Carney put the Giants ahead 8-7. I KNEW Reid should have gone for two after that first TD! :)

Demps returns the kickoff to the 25, where the Eggles take over with 1:24 left in the half.
Celek DROPS a pass at the 30.
Jackson gets 13 off a shallow drag pattern. He gets out of bounds at 1:13.
Useless short pass to Avant over the middle for 5. Costs them 2 seconds a yard.
Westbrook takes a similar pass and gets out of bounds at the Giant 49 at 0:47.
McNabb steps up under pressure and hits Avant over the middle for 15. Philly spends its last timeout at 0:40.
The Eggles haven't moved the ball all half, and NOW the Giants let them move 40 yards with relative ease. That's not the kind of defensive strategy I'm looking for, Steve Spagnuolo.
Giant secondary continues to let Eggle receivers pop open right in front of them. Jackson rolls out of bounds with a 9-yard sideline catch. McNabb has to throw the next pass away to set up 3rd-and-1.
Inside handoff to Westbrook down to the 20. McNabb spikes with 0:18 left. Given the wind, a shot at the end zone seems too risky.
Giants rush only three. There's a flag as McNabb scrambles down to the 12 with 0:10 left. Illegal use of hands on Antonio Pierce adds another 5.
Shows what I know. Eggles have a legitimate shot at a TD here.
From the 7, McNabb fires just wide for Jackson, who can't keep his feet in. That was meant to be a throwaway that only Jackson would have a shot at.
David Akers hits a 22-yard FG as the clock runs out to give Philadelphia a 10-8 lead at halftime.

The wind is going to be the key factor in the 2nd half, and the Giants may regret they didn't decide to defer the opening coin toss so they could have the wind in the 4th quarter. Then again, it hasn't bothered McNabb a lot (though he hasn't thrown anything deep), and Manning looks like crap throwing in either direction. Like Minnesota next week, let's see if Philly can't burn Spagnuolo's heavy blitzing in the 2nd half with a big draw or screen to Westbrook. What lousy strategy by Spagnuolo at the end of the half, by the way. We've stopped you all day, Philadelphia, but here! Have 70 yards and free points while we sit back, quit applying pressure and watch you do it! Whichever QB avoids the monster mistake in the 2nd half will be the one to lead his team to the NFC Championship, and I agree with Terry Bradshaw that that guy looks like Donovan McNabb right now. The Giants' one saving grace is that they're running well. The Eggles should stuff the box to shut that down and dare Manning to beat them.

Because I don't think he can.

0-for-3, baby!

THIRD QUARTER
Did Aikman just say he'd "ride him until he just couldn't go?"

Demps returns the kickoff all the way out to the 47 while I'm snickering like an 11-year-old.
McNabb hits Avant for a big 2.
That big mistake I mentioned at halftime may have happened right away. Chase Blackburn bats down the pass from McNabb and 500-pound Fred Robbins makes a nice lunge at it for a Giant INT. Miraculously, it's one-third-his-weight Kevin Curtis who makes the tremor-stopping tackle at the 33. That's quite a play by Curtis, who even had the presence of mind to try to hack the ball loose.

Jacobs goes over the right side for 11. Boss and Kareem McKenzie set up a nice wall for him.
Similar play for 5 more, down to the 17.
EMPTY BACKFIELD, Ward DROPS the smoke pass. Parker jumped into the backfield and likely distracted Ward.
Empty backfield again as Considine breaks up a pass to Boss.
You're running so well and then go empty backfield twice on 3rd-and-5. Why are offensive coordinators so stupid? Hmm, Kevin Gilbride?
Carney's 35-yard FG puts the Giants back in front, 11-10.

Eggles played a lot of that last series without Mikell or Assante Samuel, both being attended to by trainers, so maybe that influenced Gilbride to attack through the air more.
Demps is out to the 25 with the kick return.
Another DROP by Celek off a bootleg to start this drive.
5-yard run by Buckhalter comes back for a hold. 2nd-20 from the 15. Penalty on Todd Herremans.
Eggles try to set up screen but let Robbins have a clean run at McNabb. Rushed dumpoff is incomplete. 3rd-20.
Big right side overload blitz on 3rd-and-long, but McNabb wiggles away from it and hits a wide open Avant for 21.

WHY THE HELL ARE YOU BLITZING ON 3RD-AND-20, SPAGNUOLO?

Now Curtis DROPS A BEAUTIFUL LONG BALL down the sideline from McNabb. Should have been at least a 30-yard gain. The ball actually went off Curtis' face mask. Giants take some of the sting off with their umpteenth illegal use of hands penalty today. 1st-10 from the 41.
Circle route to Buckhalter for a couple, and he pays for it by getting POPPED by Pierce. Pierce then gets hit even harder by Barry Cofield, his own man.
Curtis gets 16 over the middle to the Giants' 41.
James Butler stuffs a Buckhalter sweep left for no gain.
Giants bring the dog and rush a McNabb pass that Avant can't one-hand. 3rd-and-10. Justin Tuck is down and staying down as we go to break.

4-man rush by the Giants gives McNabb all day, and Buckhalter all day to sneak away from Pierce, and the two Eggles connect for a BIG 18-yard gain. Avant is down for Philadelphia now to induce another commercial break.

Hey, I'm finally back in real time. Watch 24 tonight or Jack Bauer will kill you, probably by using his Jack-Fu to break your neck with his big and second toes.

Westbrook up the middle for 5, then he has a step on Phillips at the near pylon on the Eggles' sideline for a TD, but McNabb overthrows him. 3rd down. Pressure up the middle forces an incompletion behind Westbrook and another FG attempt.
David Akers hits from 35 to give the Eggles a 13-11 lead.

Bradshaw gets a little seam and returns the kickoff to the 32.
Jacobs off right guard for 3.
Manning is a Bulgeresque 8-18-87 with an INT. Sweep left to Jacobs gains a couple. 3rd-5. Watch out for Boss, right?
Eagles blitz big - this is a good time for it, but Manning beats it with a long toss to Hixon for about 35 yards. Perfectly timed throw as Hixon beats Joselio Hansen on the play.
As with many long plays, though, the offense can't get lined up in time and has to blow a timeout. That and the complete inability of referees to figure out when clocks run out are two things that HAVE to be addressed by the NFL this offseason.
Manning gets all day on 1st-and-10 but guns it well too high for Hixon in the flat. Ball at the Eggle 30.
Chris Gocong and Mikell stuff a sweep right for Jacobs for no gain. How much has he done on sweeps today? How about having Ward run that play?
I jinxed Ward, he DROPS a short pass forced by a Mikell blitz. Carney will try a 47-yarder with the wind at his back.
Carney's kick is fairly low and misses wide left. Philly will take over at their 37.

Westbrook up the middle for 5.
McNabb rolls right but can't find anyone open and chucks it out of bounds. 3rd-and-5.
Giants blitz but McNabb beats it by firing to Curtis at the 50.
Corey Webster breaks up a slant to Webster but is flagged for DPI. The crew meets, though, and correctly overrules the flag. Completely clean play by Webster. 2nd-10.
Philly is 6-for-10 on 3rd down today, not a vote of confidence for coach Spagnuolo.
Now Philly blows a timeout, I know not what for unless it's for Reid to yell at the referees for taking back that last flag. That's more of a college basketball move, though.
Apparent false start not called, but the face mask by Pierce on LJ Smith is. Big mistake puts Philly all the way down on the Giant 29.
Now Curtis shakes a tackle by Blackburn and gets all the way down to the 14. The defending Super Bowl champions are in major trouble right now.
Flare to Celek, who barrels up the sideline for about 5.
Westbrook powers up the middle for 3. 3rd-and-1 from the New York 6.
Pitch left to Westbrook, and he gets down to the 1. That side of the Giant defense looked confused, too. They certainly weren't playing very close up on the line on that side, considering it was third-and-1.

The Eagles will start the fourth quarter in golden position. The Giants may have to make a two-score comeback with a stiff wind in their face.

FOURTH QUARTER
Indeed, they do. McNabb play-action finds Celek wide open behind the defense in the left corner of the end zone. The TD puts the Eagles ahead 20-11.

So, it's looking like McNabb vs. Warner again in a replay of the 2002 NFC Championship.
Jacobs bolts up the middle for 11 to get the Giants' comeback attempt started. They're at their 35.
He bounces left for 4 with the next handoff.
Jacobs gets maybe 1 up the middle. I've got it as 3rd-and-5. Somehow the scoreboard has 3rd-and-3. Biggest play of the game either way. Giants rush to the line and Ward appears to wriggle for the first down off an inside handoff. Measurement coming. He should actually be short by the length of the ball, after seeing the replay.
Fourth and about 4 inches. Coughlin challenges the spot, which is only going to waste his second timeout. I agree with Troy that the Giants will have to go for it. But the challenge will succeed only in blowing a Giant timeout and letting the Eagles muster up for the big 4th down play.
Carey confirms the call and charges New York a timeout. Fourth and inches.
THEY TRY TO SNEAK IT WITH MANNING AND DO NOT EVEN COME CLOSE. GREAT stuff there by Bunkley and Mike Patterson.

The Eagles have the ball and have silenced the Meadowlands crowd. Westbrook up the middle for 3 to the NY 42.
Curtis gets 2 or 3 on a short pass. Huge stop here for the Giants. Expect a big blitz.
3rd-and-5. With the Giants only rushing 4, Westbrook is all alone in the flat for a screen pass but Corey Webster undermines him short of the first down. Huge, huge play.

Hixon fair catches the punt at the 11 as the Giants are alive for the time being.

Pause here to reflect on something Joe Buck said right after the Giants failed on 4th down: "Broderick Bunkley is having a terrific year." That statement earns me my mock draft street cred back, because I was for drafting Bunkley #12 overall in 2005 instead of taking Jay Cutler or trading down for Tye Hill. Hopefully that makes up some for liking the Jimmy Kennedy pick in '03, anyway.

The way the Manning brothers are performing this postseason, I'm definitely betting on the Williams sisters in the Oreo contest.

Ward bounces off a tackle for 14 and runs through a couple more for 8 to get the Giants in motion.
Any chance he'd like to play in St. Louis next year in the #2 role? I doubt it.
Ward up the middle through a big hole for another first down.
Ball at the 39. Manning to Amani Toomer for 7 or 8. Giants try to hurry up, but a shotgun draw handoff to Jacobs is lucky to break even. 3rd-and-3.
Wildcat snap to Ward, but he's awful slow getting going, and Parker jumps the play to dump him for no gain. Giants will go for it again on 4th-and-2, 6:40 left.
Jacobs goes right up the middle and doesn't even appear to get the first yard. Making a late run for game MVP, Bunkley clogs up the middle and makes the stop along with Bradley.

Eagles ball near midfield. It is fucking amazing what an amazing clusterfuck my playoff predictions have been this year.

ONE FOR FUCKING SEVEN, COMING RIGHT UP!

Buckhalter loses a couple back to the 50.
McNabb goes up top to Jackson up the Philly sideline, burning Corey Webster FOR 49 YARDS DOWN TO THE ONE YARD LINE.
Westbrook gets upended for no gain at the one, not that Philly really cares at this point. They're going to freaking Arizona next week for the freaking NFC Championship.
Westbrook loses at least a yard up the middle, but again, Philly doesn't care. The clock is running.
4:20 left. Eli's going to take the Giants to two scores in 4:00? I don't think so.
Short pass to Baskett on 3rd down is incomplete. I would have run again. Keep the clock moving!
19-yard Akers FG extends Philadelphia's lead to 23-11.

Looks like Spagnuolo'll be free for that interview next week, huh.

How do the Steelers not get caught looking ahead in the 2nd game? All the other one and two seeds are gone; if they win, they'll be in the final 4 with two six seeds and a four.

Giants at their 27, 3:51 left.
STUPID screen to Hixon for 3. That'll be a big help.
Toomer's wide open up the sideline for a catch at the 50, though. Sorry, I just noticed the Giants are on what I usually consider the visitors' sideline. Thought all stadiums did that the same way.
The pathetic Eli Manning should be even sorrier, though, air-mailing a POOR pass way over Smith's head and right to Mikell for a game-sealing INT.

I'll feel free to ignore the rest of this game. Both the NFC teams with bye weeks were total fiascoes this weekend, which the Giants and Panthers deserve for ruining my FFL championship game. Now there's some karma for you.

Bill Bidwill has now fucking lucked his way into a HOME GAME for the NFC Championship against the Eggles, a game that should bear out to be a classic matchup between the Eggle secondary and the Cardinal passing game. As hard as it is to win three road games in the playoffs, and as much as the Cardinals likely deserve to be the favorites for next Sunday's game, here's where I jinx the Eggles by picking them to win next week's game and advance to the Super Bowl, particularly if Anquan Boldin is still unable to go. I can't believe the Eggles will be as poorly prepared for next week's game as the Panthers were last night. They WILL have a plan to shut down or slow down Larry Fitzgerald, and they are too stiff up front defensively for the Cards to be able to run well enough to take heat off their passing game. And if anybody's going to get a pass rush that tests Kurt Warner this postseason, it's Jim Johnson. Now, Clancy Pendergast could very easily come up with a plan to shut down Westbrook that's as brilliant as his scheme that shut down Steve Smith last night. And who knows, Arizona may even actually sell out that Pink Taco Dome and make life very hard on the Eggle offense. But Kurt doesn't need any luck, because I'm guaranteeing his passage to Tampa for Super Bowl 43 by picking the Eggles, whose defense is carrying them and who I like in next week's game.

I've been voting for safeties a lot for game MVPs this month, and Quintin Mikell deserves a look for 7 tackles and an INT, but my MVP's going to Broderick (Should Be A Ram) Bunkley, who had five tackles and stuffed the two big 4th downs to seal New York's fate. LVPs are obviously Eli Manning, along with Kevin Gilbride for some brutal play-calling.

The big decision for the Giants in the offseason is what the hell to do with the Plaxico Burress situation. His absence clearly hurt them down the stretch and they are a very mediocre team without him. It will help to have Tuck and Umenyiora back and completely healthy next year, but the Giants need to restore that big, game-changing target to their passing game to bounce back from this fiasco today.

Chargers-Steelers coming right up.