PREGAME
A revival of one of the NFL's great postseason rivalries coming up in the Homer Dome. It'll be time for Adrian Peterson to prove he belongs at the top of the NFL heap. The Vikings need him to set the tone today, put up good running numbers and HOLD ON TO THE BALL. If they can keep Favre from trying to do too much, which has been the key to their success this year, they'll be set.
I really don't care for Dallas' matchups when they're on offense. Their pass protection looked pretty leaky last week; Jared Allen will be all over that. And they would seem to be in trouble if Antoine Winfield accounts for Miles Austin successfully, especially given Jason Witten's recent funk. Will Roy Williams step up if Dallas needs him? Will the three-headed RB attack put the Vikings on their heels? Will Joe Buck and Troy Aikman be sober this week?
FIRST QUARTER
Did Rebecca Grant say "Twin Cities" during the tight purple top update, er, "Verizon Football Zone Update"? 'Cause that wasn't what I heard.
Just to show I'm paying more attention to Rebecca Grant than her, well, Twin Cities, she wore red yesterday and the team that wears red, Arizona, lost. Uh-oh, Minnesota.
The Cowboys receive the opening kickoff and Kevin Ogletree returns a very short kick to the 28. They're out to the 45 after converting a 3rd-and-inches with the ol' 90-flip, to Miles Austin. Cowboys pick up a blitz on first down; Dallas picks it up well but Tony Romo still has to throw the pass away. Austin with a 9-yard catch in front of Bennie Sapp. Vikings are getting NO pressure on Romo so far, and on 3rd-and-1, he hits Patrick Crayton in the left flat and down to the Viking 34. The next play looks like a screen pass; Minnesota blew it up with huge pressure from both ends. And Ray Edwards, whose hair is on fire so far, gets Felix Jones in the backfield for a big loss. 3rd-14.
Heh. Edwards was the DE Dallas actually double-teamed that time. HE STILL BEAT IT, sacked Romo and forced a fumble, recovered by Kevin Williams. Viking ball at the 35.
Adrian Peterson drops a pass on a circle route for Minnesota on 1st down, then tries the right side for 3. On third down, Demarcus Ware somehow makes it to Favre untouched - Chester Taylor didn't stay back to block him - and takes him down for a sack and a 3-and-out. Vikings punt. Ware acted like he was dinged after that play; keep an eye on that.
Yeah, Ware's head ran into Bryant McKinnie's backside. Dallas claims he's fine. Jones around left end for 8. Good blocks from RT, RG and TE get him a hole to bounce out to midfield. NO RUSH from Minnesota, Romo hits Jones in the flat, Felix fakes Cedric Griffin out of his jock for another 10-yard gain. Marion Barber up the middle for 4. Romo blows the exchange on 2nd down but Kyle Kosier luckily kicks it out of the way and Dallas recovers. Dallas also cluster, um, bombs, 3rd down, as Jason Witten tips a pass intended for Austin, who's like a foot behind him. Austin makes the catch but doesn't get the first down. Wade Phillips opts for a 48-yard FG instead of going for it on 4th-and-1. Guess what Shaun Suisham does.
Yep, there's still no score. Vikings ball at the 38.
After Peterson again fails to get anywhere on 1st down, Favre beats a Dallas blitz with a quick pass to Sidney Rice, who stretches for a 1st down at the 49. Favre beats another Dallas blitz (last week's TMQ said the Cowboys never blitz; nice analysis, Easterbrook) on 2nd down with a 47-yard sideline bomb to Rice that Gerald Sensabaugh never had any idea was coming. Even after Rice caught it. Even after Rice scored! What the hell was Sensabaugh doing? Does he know? Does he know the Vikings don't have the ball now? Does he know what day this is?
Vikings 7, Cowboys 0.
Ogletree only to the 18 with the kick return, but Witten gets wide open and gets them to the 32. They move the chains again with a short pass to Martellus Bennett. Jared Allen flies in and blows up a screen. Bennie Sapp trips up Barber to force 3rd-and-9. Romo converts that with another completion to Witten. Dallas can get across midfield. They just get into trouble when they cross the Viking 40.
Hey, there's Leslie Frazier on the Vikings sideline. Let's hope he took preparations for this game more seriously than he took that head coach interview in Seattle last week.
End of first quarter: Vikings 7, Cowboys 0.
SECOND QUARTER
Romo starts the quarter hitting Austin inside the 30. OMG, A JIMMY KENNEDY SIGHTING. I forgot he was still in the league. Romo rolls right, and there's so little pressure on him, it looks like the Cowboys are playing the Rams. He hits Bennett at the 10. Wildcat nonsense gets Choice a couple. Excellent play by Pat Williams, because Marc Colombo destroyed the DE with a devastating cut block. And now the Ray Edwards Show continues; he beats Colombo clean and sacks Romo back at the 15. 3rd-and-goal. 4-man rush panics Romo and he throws it away. Kevin Williams nearly got there on a stunt. Suisham hits(!) from 33 to put them on the board.
Vikings 7, Cowboys 3.
Buehler bombs away for a touchback. Kudos to Jerry Jones for being the one guy in the NFL who can figure out that it's hard to get beat on special teams when you can kick very, very deep.
Favre steps away from pressure and hits Jim Kleinsasser with a dink for 14. Dallas jumps offside on the following 3rd-and-short, but Peterson takes a swing pass for 19 to make it mute, as we say in Missouri. They screen to Taylor with a blitz coming for another first down. Peterson gets 11 on a 2nd-down draw. Ball at the Dallas 15. From there, classic Favre for the TD. Play-action bootleg left, he ducks under Marcus Spears flying at him, and hits Rice down the middle inside the 5 and in for a TD.
Vikings 14, Cowboys 3.
Minnesota's killing the Dallas blitz; maybe Wade Phillips had better dial back a little.
Hoo boy, a throwback on the kickoff return loses Dallas 5. Walt Anderson gives Dallas 15 back on a taunting penalty. A decent call, but have I really not seen Mike Carey or Ed Hochuli call a game yet this postseason? What's up there? At least we haven't seen Jeff Triplette.
Cowboys at their 29. Jared Allen flies in to stop Jones for no gain and get his name called for the first time today. Allen then beats Jason Witten easily and splatters Romo from the blind side, forcing a fumble that Ben Leber recovers. Romo's third fumble of the day, and cue the blowout music.
Why the hell is Jason Witten trying to block the best pass-rusher in the league one-on-one there? Bernard Berrian gets Minnesota 1st-and-goal at the 8, bouncing a quick slant back outside. Dallas, though, stuffs Peterson (only 25 yards so far) on 1st down; Keith Brooking breaks up a swing pass to Taylor on 2nd down, and after a Viking delay of game, stops ANOTHER SWING PASS TO TAYLOR at the 6. Dallas secondary kept them in the game right there. Ryan Longwell chips in 3 for Minnesota.
Vikings 17, Cowboys 3.
Dallas at their 22 and in need of a TD drive. Doug Free has replaced an Flozell Adams at LT due to a calf injury. Witten was supposed to be helping him on that last sack/fumble but somehow wound up having the whole job. Romo makes a huge play to spin away from pressure and hit Witten at the 34 for a 1st down. Vikings started a little slowly but their d-line has owned the line of scrimmage in the first half. JIMMY KENNEDY tackles Barber for a loss. One more TFL than he had his entire Rams career. Witten digs a low pass at the 40 at the 2:00 warning, after which it'll be 3rd-and-4, Dallas.
Romo rifles a pass for Austin between 4 Vikings, way too hot for him to catch, and Dallas is punting again. Fair catch at the 8, and Dallas better damn sure prevent a score here.
Anthony Spencer stuffs Peterson for a loss at the 7 and Dallas calls timeout. AP barely gets one more outside right and Dallas calls another timeout. Despite being up 2 TDs in a home playoff game, the Vikings fans sound restless at Peterson's mediocre first half. They surprise Dallas with a draw to Taylor, though, and he gets across the 20. 1:10 to go. Spencer quickly gets to Favre with another blitz coming (hey, TMQ, I thought Dallas never blitzes!), and we're probably kneeling out the half now. No, Favre scrambles and tries to hit Harvin over the middle, but the rookie blows a sliding catch, giving the purple gang 3rd-and-14, :27 left. Buck and Aikman are ripping Brad Childress for that play; I'll bet 5 bucks that was Favre's call. Vikings wind up punting with :23 to go. Dallas does not come after the punt, which Crayton muffs at the 36. They'll have 13 seconds to move about 35 yards. (I'm way ahead of ya, Joe Buck.)
Useless out route to Crayton incomplete. Wouldn't even have gained first down. Romo steps up and hits Witten on the far sideline for 10. :04 on the clock. Bombs away? Vikings rush 4 - Romo has to whirl away from Allen, who destroyed Free, then he has to whirl away from Kevin Williams, then he just slides at the 30 with nothing but purple around him. Kind of this game in a nutshell, really.
Halftime score: Vikings 17, Cowboys 3.
Cowboys' pass protection has really gotten them into trouble today. It was bad enough with Adams, let alone without him, with the very green Free at LT. They need to move Romo around in the pocket, especially away from Allen. Hit Minnesota with more draws and quick plays. Some no-huddle would be great. Try to wear the Vikes down. They've got to find some ways to get heat off Romo. Would be great for them if Austin could get off the milk carton, or if Roy Williams could even get in the grocery store.
Dallas' D could be more help, too. Peterson hasn't done squat on the ground, but the problem is they haven't gotten to Favre, who's picking them apart to the tune of a 142.7 passer rating. The blitz isn't working that well, Wade Phillips. Drop more guys into coverage and let your playmakers like Ware and Spencer get up in his face and make some plays. Dallas' best chance to get back in this thing is by forcing Favre to make mistakes.
THIRD QUARTER
Gaines Adams RIP.
Buehler starts the second half with the usual touchback. 3rd-and-3, Walt Anderson does an awful job getting the play stopped after a false start, allowing Favre to get drilled by Bradie James. Orlando Scandrick gets away with a hold of Percy Harvin on 3rd down as Dallas gets a crucial 3-and-out by hook and by crook.
Jones bounces outside left behind Leonard Davis' pull for 17, then pops for 9 off the right side; here come the Cowboys. Didn't I say they needed to run more, kind of? Barber goes up the middle for 7-8 yards, and Dallas is quickly at the Viking 23. But Edwards blows up a 90-flip to Barber for MINUS 7. Bad match of play and personnel there by Jason Garrett. That's a Felix Jones play, not Barber's. The Vikings actually blitz a couple on 3rd-and-14, and Chad Greenway brings Romo down. Again, they need to get Romo on the move. Suisham scrapes the outside of the upright from 49 and Dallas may be done.
Vikings at their 39. Favre overthrows a slant to Berrian that Michael Jenkins nearly picks off. Jay Ratliff lets them off the hook by holding the center. Spencer fails to blow up a Harvin end-around for a gigantic loss as Harvin gets away for a 14-yard gain. Ball at the Dallas 37, but the Vikings pretty much die from there. They false start, Peterson continues to get little on the ground (14-40), and Scandrick cartwheels Rice for a short gain at the 35. Chris Klewe nails the classic coffin corner kick, though, pinning Dallas at the 2.
That may have been the first coffin corner kick I've seen in 30 years.
Dallas 3-and-outs, gaining only 1 yard on a Barber carry. Tyrell Johnson forced Austin out on the 3rd-down attempt. The Vikings start in Dallas territory after the punt. They ran into Mat-yes-seriously-with-one-t McBriar, but that was only good for a 5-yard penalty. Did Walt Anderson say Dallas declined the penalty? Bizarre decision, given Minnesota's field position.
Now Dallas is repunting, though Buck says -Minnesota- took the penalty. HUHNH? He continues to insist Minnesota took the penalty when noting their field position got about 20 yards worse. Is Buck drunk again?
Vikings at their 40 after DALLAS accepted the running-into-the-kicker penalty. Favre throws behind a wide open Harvin for an incompletion on first down.
THE VIKINGS COULDN'T DECLINE THE PENALTY ON THE PUNT, BUCK, YOU FUCKING MORON, THE PENALTY WAS ON THEM!!!!!!!
Pardon that interruption. Peterson gets no gain on 2nd down and Ratliff breezes by RG Anthony Herrera to sack Favre. I'll say this, Minnesota has played like complete shit this second half.
Ten minutes later, Buck finally figures out that Dallas took the penalty on the punt. Just in time for Minnesota to punt it back. At least he's 1-for-4 in announcing what happened on the play.
Cowboys now at their 20. Jones takes a swing pass for 4. Johnson and Pat Williams string out a sweep on 2nd down and take those 4 yards back from Felix. Look at Pat Williams outrunning Felix Jones. Was there a triple cheeseburger on the field. On third down, Romo pump-fakes and inexplicably throws an interception DIRECTLY TO Ben Leber. Just lofted it right to him. That wasn't a pump fake; JIMMY KENNEDY jumped and made Romo pull the ball back down. A horrendous play by the Cowboy QB either way, and he can probably start getting ready for another offseason with TMZ.
End of third quarter: Vikings 17, Cowboys 3.
FOURTH QUARTER
Looks like the marquee matchup of the weekend is going to turn out to be crap, and we're relying on the Jets to make this playoff weekend even remotely interesting. The Vikings are EXTREMELY conservative after the INT, gain only a yard and go for the FG. Longwell extends the lead.
Vikings 20, Cowboys 3.
Jones gets the call on the kickoff return but doesn't even make the 20. Romo barely escapes pressure and shovels one Favre-style to Witten for 9. Witten's wide open for 23 more at the 48. Edwards has been in and out since the 2nd quarter with a knee problem. Here's Dallas in the no-huddle, about a quarter too late. Kevin Williams flushes a chicken-with-his-head-cut-off Romo into KENNEDY. An actual sack by JIMMY KENNEDY? I'm sure that's one more than his entire Rams career.
Dallas officially announces they've given up the game and therefore the season by punting. It's the 4th quarter and you need three scores, morons!
Vikings at their 14. Peterson drives a Dallas pile backward for 6 and possibly his longest run of the day. No, he had an 11-yarder. Harvin motions into tailback position and goes off left tackle for 7-8 more and a 1st. 11 minutes to play. Two plays later, Favre rolls right and hits Rice at midfield. Cowboys bring a big blitz on 3rd-and-4, Favre throws his blitz route, a long lob up the near sideline for Rice, who pushes off Michael Jenkins and hauls the pass in for a 45-yard TD. Rice's third TD of the day.
Game over.
Vikings 27, Cowboys 3.
Dallas at their 27 with 7:30 left, the game basically in FU-mode. One-handed catch by Witten for 8. 2nd down pass incomplete as Minnesota keeps the heat on Romo. STUPID DRAW PLAY to Jones LOSES YARDAGE. Jason Garrett must have been on the phone making a tee time. Chad Greenway makes a sweet open-field play to stop Witten short on 4th-and-4.
This one's over. Straight to the finish.
(Updated to add a 4th-down TD pass to Visanthe Shiancoe with 2:00 left. I may not like Dallas, but that's pretty much classlessly running up the score, and we've got a bitter rivalry budding here.)
MVP: Rice had three TDs, but like the Colts last night, the Vikings dominated this game with their defensive line, and representing them, Ray Edwards wins today's game ball. He set the tone for this game early, playing with his motor cranked all the way to 11. He's credited with three sacks and also had the tackle-for-big-loss on Jones. Gotta love it when your line has stars like Jared Allen and the Williams "brothers", and it's the least-known of the d-line starters coming up big in a playoff game.
Looking ahead: RamView's postseason record "improves" to 4-3 with this win, but now's where I make the big mistake and change an original pick. My gut thought the Vikings would run too well in the Superdome for the Saints to beat them in an NFC title matchup, when actually, their running game has been crap for about eight weeks now, Adrian Peterson or not. And not having Antoine Winfield at full strength, an injury situation I wasn't aware of, is a situation we should fully expect Drew Brees to exploit. New Orleans' o-line is playing much better than Dallas' to boot. Also, Brett Favre in a road dome in a playoff game. Remember the 2001-02 playoffs? The pick for the NFC side of the Super Bowl is the Saints.
Dallas is yet another team in this year's playoff that doesn't look like needs to add much to remain successful next season. Offensive line should be priority number one, and Lord, look out for Jerry Jones with an open checkbook in a season with no salary cap.
Hopefully Jets-Chargers will be remotely interesting; that starts in about 40 minutes.
Saturday, January 16, 2010
AFC Divisional Playoff: Colts 20, Ravens 3
PREGAME
We know about Peyton Manning, Reggie Wayne and the Colt offense; today we find out if their defense is for real, which it will have to be for the Colts to win and make good on the promise of their 14-0 start. If they get pushed around and gashed on the ground like the Patriots did last week, the Ravens' victory formula will have worked again. Indy has to force Joe Flacco to make some plays. I think they will because I think they're a very underrated defense. And I don't think Flacco will make those plays.
And I doubt there's a force in this league other than Colts HC Jim Crawford capable of stopping Peyton Manning. I think the Ravens can blitz all they want. Without a force in their secondary to keep Reggie Wayne in check, I doubt it matters. Plus the Colts running backs are the best in the league at picking the blitz up. The Jets are capable of beating the Colts because they have Darrelle Revis to take Wayne away. I don't believe the Ravens have that guy. So even though the Ravens laid waste to my playoff bracket last year, and resumed that trend last week, I'm taking the Colts here.
FIRST QUARTER
Gumbel and Dierdorf providing the call for CBS. Colts win the toss and Chad Simpson takes a knee in the end zone.
Ravens don't bring much heat to start the game and Peyton Manning hits Austin Collie at the 40. Ravens are all over Joseph Addai the next play, though. Colts continue to take care of Baltimore's 4-man rush (technically, that's a blitz since they're a 3-4) as Manning hits Dallas Clark a yard short of the first down, which Mike Hart converts. They fake a DB blitz and bring the LBs up the middle, but the Colts pick it up expertly and Manning hits Pierre Garcon for 8, then another first down. Addai sweeps right for 7. The ball finally hits the ground as Ray Lewis breaks up a pass to Dallas Clark with a solid hit. They empty the backfield on 3rd-and-3, Donald Brown runs a bad pattern and creates a traffic jam 5 yards downfield with Garcon. That plus Justin (Race) Bannan beating the RG clean force Manning to throw into a crowd incomplete. Matt Stover hits a FG against his old team.
Colts 3, Ravens 0.
Jalen Parmalee brings the kickoff across midfield but Carl Cheffers (really? Carl Cheffers?) takes it back for a block in the back. That's a significant momentum swing all by itself. They start from their own 7 instead of Indy's 40. The Colts shut down Ray Rice on first down but leave Derrick Mason all alone on the far sideline for 17. Huh, end-around to Mark Clayton gets 8. LeRon McClain bulls across the 35 for the 1st down. Flacco hits Mason for 13 more and looks pretty composed so far. Hell, he's almost matched his yardage from last week already! Gary Brackett stuffs a screen to Rice in the open flat for no gain. Robert Mathis' jump on 3rd-and-7 from midfield was a little too good. 3rd-and-2 now. Wow, he didn't look offside in slow motion. Flacco GOES UP TOP on third-and-2 and drops a BEAUTIFUL pass into Mason's breadbasket at the Colt 18. Mind-bendingly, the Colts are stopping the run but have no clue how to stop Flacco. A Rice cutback gets them 3rd-and-short just inside the 10. Flacco gets the first down on a keeper. The Rams haven't run a QB sneak on 3rd-and-that long the whole time they've been in St. Louis. McClain drops a 2nd-and-goal pass in the flat though I'm not sure he would have gotten much out of it. Ravens go trips right and Flacco throws that direction, but Antoine Bethea jumps Clayton's route and blows what would have been a pick-six at the goal line. Ravens happily settle for the FG Bethea granted them.
Ravens 3, Colts 3.
The Ravens swamp Simpson at the Colt 13. This first quarter may barely take half an hour to play. Manning hits Clark at the 32 with an amazing pinpoint pass up the seam. After a handoff, Manning's next pass goes through Clark's hands in the flat to force 3rd-and-7. Peyton beats a safety blitz with a completion to Collie at the 45. Chris Carr breaks up a 2nd down pass to Collie; 3rd-and-7 again. The Ravens don't blitz, but Dwan Edwards (I think, neither Gumbel nor Dierdorf can be bothered to tell us) burns the left guard and forces a quick pass to Clark at midfield, well short of the first down. So they've forced a punt, which will kick off the 2nd quarter.
End of first quarter: Ravens 3, Colts 3.
SECOND QUARTER
Ravens start the quarter at the 9, and really, this game couldn't be going a whole lot better for them so far. Rice up the middle for 6, then for 2. Good fill by Brackett on 2nd down. Flacco ruins things by air mailing one well over Mason's head on third down. 3-and-out for Indy.
T.J. Rushing returns a poor kick across midfield, and the pressure's squarely on the Raven defense right now. Manning slams a pass off a Raven lineman on 2nd down but Addai avoids disaster by fielding the pop-up at the Raven 46. Just a 4-man rush on 3rd-and-7, but Manning steps up and overthrows Garcon by a country mile. Huge opportunity squandered by Indy there. Reggie Wayne in serious danger of becoming the latest WR to disappear this postseason.
Ravens take over at their 20, but the Colts 3-and-out them a second straight time. They stuff a screen to Rice on 2nd down, and on 3rd down, the RG Marshall Yanda lets the blitzing Brackett go to help pick up Dwight Freeney on a loop. Not sure I understand that at all. The now unblocked Brackett goes straight to Flacco for the sack.
Yeah, this game's just a bit different from the last two playoff games we've seen this year.
Colts at their 25, and here's Wayne, gaining 12 on a dig route and making an amazing, fully-extended grab for 11 on a quick slant. Donald Brown's first carry takes Indy across midfield. A lob for Wayne on a corner route misses by a lot, and we've got 3rd-and-6 again, with the Colts threatening to bog down at midfield again. Clark advances the chains, though, making a stumbling catch and diving for the 1st. The Ravens, who are usually described as a 3-4 defense, have vanilla-rushed 4 men the entire game, which is helping out their coverage, and Indy's season-long inability to run the ball may bite them in the ass yet tonight.
The Colts get a delay-of-game penalty at the 40 but Addai gets it back the next play, and a slant to him sets up 3rd-and-2 at the 33. They bring in DT Eric Foster the next play at fullback, but Haloti Ngata and Terrell Suggs blow up the right side of the Colt line anyway and take Addai down for a loss. The Colts line up to go for it on 4th-and-3 but the Ravens take a timeout.
4th and almost 4 from the Raven 35: the Colts empty the backfield and throw to Addai in the flat, and I'm not sure he got the ball across the line. Dannell Ellerbe spun him around with a solid hit at the sideline.
The refs give him the first down; John Harbaugh should challenge that. If he had to get the 31 like TV shows, he never did. Ellerbe's hit prevented it. Nice illegal pick by the Colts on the play, too.
OK, the marker on that side was short of the 31, so that's what I get for going by the line on TV. The spot was right where it should have been. Short of the TV line, but correctly good for a first down.
Manning hits Garcon at the 20. The first half is nearly over, though it's barely an hour old. Mike Hart(!) turns a pass in the flat into an 8-yard gain by spinning away from Ellerbe. Hart plows Mike Alstott-style for the first down at the 10. Though he's about half Alstott's size. First and goal.
TD pass to Collie in the far corner of the end zone, beating Domonique Foxworth. Great route (and head fake) by Collie, usual brilliant throw by Manning to cap off an 8-minute drive.
Colts 10, Ravens 3.
Two-minute warning.
Parmalee comes up short of the 20 on the return. Wow, they open up with an inside handoff to Rice for little gain. That's some attacking 2-minute offense there. Hell, Indy calls the time out. They think they can get the ball back. Lot better frame of mind then coming out with 2:00 left and planning to NOT SCORE. Freeney gets to Flacco on 2nd down and the pass misses Clayton by quite a bit. Rice bobbles a screen pass away for Baltimore's third straight 3-and-out. That possession couldn't have gone worse for the Ravens if they were trying to fail.
Colts have it back at their 38. You can feel a definite momentum shift here. Indy is clearly the team on the attack. Dumpoff to Brown for 8; he stops the clock with 1:20 left. Short pass to Clark to the Raven 45. Another dink to Garcon at the 41. Timeout with 0:55 left. Draw to Brown gets them down to the 27, after he SHOULDERS RAY LEWIS TO THE GROUND. Manning then goes to Wayne down the far sideline and he draws a pretty obvious pass interference on Foxworth. Baltimore takes a timeout with 0:28 left and the Colts at the 14. Manning misses an open Garcon in the near corner at 0:22. Lewis blasts a TD pass away from Collie, but with a helmet-to-helmet hit definitely worthy of a personal foul, though you can hear him complaining over the referee's mike to just let him play football. Colts at the 7, 0:17 left. Clark weaves with a short pass down to the 4. That did little but burn six seconds and cost the Colts their last timeout. Hang on, two seconds have mysteriously gotten back onto the clock. Suggs whips Charlie Johnson at LT and forces Manning to throw one into the ground. Peyton wants one more crack with 7 seconds left. Steve Spagnuolo would have kicked the FG about an hour ago. Harbaugh is VERY unhappy about something on the sideline, holding up 2 fingers and dropping B.S. bombs. The 2 seconds that re-materialized before the last play, maybe?
BALTIMORE THEN USES THEIR LAST TIMEOUT WITH THE PLAY CLOCK RUNNING OUT ON INDY? Ain't no good going to come out of that. The replay booth can't have anything to review, can it?
Manning hits Wayne slanting to the goal line for what could prove to be the decisive score of this game. Three seconds till halftime.
Colts 17, Ravens 3.
Squib kick runs out the rest of the clock.
Halftime score: Colts 17, Ravens 3.
I said the Colt defense was going to have to play big today, and they have. The Ravens had nine yards in the 2nd quarter and I'm fairly certain no first downs, since their last three drives went 3-and-out. Cam Cameron should be embarrassed at the way they ended the half, to be frank. They didn't even try to score when they got the ball with 2:00 left. Their coaching staff better come out of halftime a lot more aggressive than they were in the first half. The offense needs to come out attacking, and defensively, they're going to have to consider blitzing more, because they're putting no heat on Manning while still getting beaten through the air. For the Colts, keep it up on D and don't make any fatal mistakes on offense, and you're hosting the AFC Championship.
Fake halftime concert fans on the field: just one of many things I'd like to see banned from the NFL.
THIRD QUARTER
Perfect first half for Indy, who now have Baltimore exactly where they want them. Flacco's going to have to make some plays this half.
The Ravens start the 2nd half with a vanilla handoff to Rice for 2. I think Mason fumbled the 2nd-down pass, but it's ruled incomplete. Nice play by Melvin Bullitt to break it up either way. Flacco has to blow a timeout on third down with the clock running out. Ravens get out of trouble when Flacco beats Freeney's stunt with a dumpoff to Rice, and Rice charges almost out to midfield. A false start and a pass deflection by Raheem Brock on third down keep Baltimore from going any further. The Ravens down the punt at the 7, and better take advantage of that. Like right now.
Play-action pass to Brown and a quick slant to Wayne get Indy a first down. Halotia Ngata gets a step inside Ryan Diem, smokes him, and is on Manning so quickly that Peyton just hits the ground in the fetal position to avoid getting killed. Intriguingly, Manning rushes the next play and just barely misses Collie on a deep route over the middle. Garcon then loses a difficult kneeling catch at the sideline that would have been a first down. Crucial 3-and-out for Baltimore there.
Ravens at their 34. Rice off right tackle for 9. McClain can't fight through Brock for the first down off a fullback handoff. I don't think. Nope, 3rd and inches. False start on Jared Gaither, make it 3rd-and-5-plus-inches. Flacco hits Todd Heap for 13, to the strains of a surprisingly loud "HEEEEP" cry at Lucas Oil Field. Hoping to become the postseason Alex Barron, Gaither now gets called for a hold. A handoff and a nicely-setup screen pass to Rice, though, get them back up to 3rd-and-3. Flacco scrambles around forever before launching a crossfield lob for Rice, defended near-perfectly by Brackett. Demetrius Williams - THAT'S who you're throwing to on 4th-and-3? - makes a pretty poor effort on an out route and has the 4th-down pass go off his one extended hand. Colts ball.
Indy at their own 45. The Ravens appear to get a badly-needed play when Ed Reed jumps a deep sideline route to Garcon for an INT. He returns it deep into Colt territory, but trailing him downfield the whole way, Garcon catches up and BLASTS THE BALL away from Reed from behind. It bounces right to Dallas Clark and the Colts have the ball back.
Wow. I think this game may be over.
Manning overcomes a big loss by Brown by hitting Collie at the 40, though Edwards gets in another big hit. The Ravens blow a timeout on defense. A couple of plays later, Reed intercepts Manning again, and returns it inside the 10, but the opportunity for the pick came because Corey Ivy interfered pretty obviously with Dallas Clark. Put the Colts at the Raven 37 instead.
If John Harbaugh had coached as hard tonight as he's whined, maybe this would still be a game.
Manning hits Wayne, who makes a kneeling catch at the 20, for another first down. Ravens do appear to have increased their blitzing this drive but it's not helping. Let me roll the TiVo back and see what they were doing on the two INTs that were called back. They brought a safety blitz on the left side and a LB on the right side the first time. Boop beep. Just a 4-man rush the second time, though. Manning's throw looks poor, but again, because of the interference by Ivy. So you could argue the blitzing is working to some degree.
We're done with the third quarter, by the way, with the Colts driving to put the game away.
End of third quarter: Colts 17, Ravens 3.
FOURTH QUARTER
Colts are at the 9-yard line after a couple more completions at the end of the 3rd. Ivy blows up Brown for a 3-yard loss. Jarrett Johnson then absolutely whips Charlie Johnson and forces Manning to slide for a loss. 3rd-goal from the 16, the pass gets away from Manning and he overthrows Wayne pretty badly. Stover's good from 33 to expand the Indy advantage.
Colts 20, Ravens 3.
Now or never for the Baltimore offense. Two screens to Rice get pretty much nowhere. 3rd-and-5. Flacco does hit the previously invisible Kelley Washington at the 45 for a 1st down. Rice fights all the way down to the Colt 25 on a draw play, but Brock gets downfield to put a lick on him and force the ball loose, and it bounces to Clint Session to essentially end this game. Colts ball around their 20.
Indy goes into bleed-the-clock mode here, which will work especially well with Baltimore already down to one timeout. They burn off a couple of minutes and punt.
Ravens at their 23 with 9:00 left. A HANDOFF TO RICE gets squat, then Jacob Lacey breaks up a sideline pass for Clayton. Third down throw is behind Washington due to the pass rush and he can't come up with it. 3-and-out. 8:00 left, down 17, the Ravens punt instead of going for it. YOU NEED THREE SCORES!
Colts at their 26. They 3-and-out again after Manning can't connect with Collie on a lob pass.
Ravens at their 22, 6:30 left now. Heap and Williams break tackles for 10 yards on back-to-back plays. Now Rice breaks a couple of tackles after the catch for 15. Ravens at the Colt 40. Flacco goes deep for Mason a couple of plays later, but underthrows him badly and gets picked off by Bethea. Game over, man, game over! Bethea lands hard after the catch and may have injured his hip or lower back.
Colts take over at their 2 with 5:00 left. One first down and I'm putting this game in FU-mode. Well, a couple of handoffs get them to the 7; 3rd-and-5. Brown gets dragged down by the back of his helmet on a draw play but there's no call. The Ravens stop the clock one last time at 3:14. So much for FU-mode.
Do you think the Ravens' mouthpieces are grape flavored? They look like they would be pretty yummy. They'll get the ball at the Colt 43 with about 3:00 to go. Colts curiously bring a big blitz but Flacco hits Mason for 9. First down to Heap at the 27. Dumpoff to Rice loses yards at the 2:00 warning.
Yanda's false-started the last two plays but it's Indy getting called offsides on 3rd-and-7. Heap drops a short pass, and we're at the point of no return, 4th-and-2. As Yanda false-starts yet again without a call, the pass goes off Rice's hands and on to Jarod Powers for the game-ending interception and Baltimore's 4th turnover.
The Colts kneel it out and will host the AFC Championship next Sunday.
Final: Colts 20, Ravens 3.
MVP: I had Raheem Brock as a candidate even before he forced Rice's fumble, and that play put him over the top. Besides that play, he had four tackles, deflected a pass and was a thorn in Baltimore's side all night. Brock especially represents a dominating performance by the Colt defense and their d-line, the people who were under the gun coming into the game. They held Rice to 67 yards and forced 4 turnovers. The middle of their line was especially dominant.
Looking ahead: The Ravens are still a young team. They're just going to get better on the lines. Ngata and I think Suggs are Pro Bowlers, and guys like Bannan and Dwan Edwards make a lot of plays. Michael Oher and Yanda have really come on down the stretch. With lines as strong as they have, and getting stronger, they're in great shape for the future. But with Mason about 100 years old and having already tried to retire once, they are in desperate need of receiving threats.
The Colts worry me a little bit, funnily enough, because of their offense. They can't run a lick. And even more funnily, that may work for them if they meet San Diego next week, but not as likely if they run into the Jets. Again, I get a day to think about it.
Two pretty dull games today, in retrospect, a rerun of last Saturday. Let's hope Sunday makes up for it again. Cowboys vs. Vikings at noon tomorrow.
We know about Peyton Manning, Reggie Wayne and the Colt offense; today we find out if their defense is for real, which it will have to be for the Colts to win and make good on the promise of their 14-0 start. If they get pushed around and gashed on the ground like the Patriots did last week, the Ravens' victory formula will have worked again. Indy has to force Joe Flacco to make some plays. I think they will because I think they're a very underrated defense. And I don't think Flacco will make those plays.
And I doubt there's a force in this league other than Colts HC Jim Crawford capable of stopping Peyton Manning. I think the Ravens can blitz all they want. Without a force in their secondary to keep Reggie Wayne in check, I doubt it matters. Plus the Colts running backs are the best in the league at picking the blitz up. The Jets are capable of beating the Colts because they have Darrelle Revis to take Wayne away. I don't believe the Ravens have that guy. So even though the Ravens laid waste to my playoff bracket last year, and resumed that trend last week, I'm taking the Colts here.
FIRST QUARTER
Gumbel and Dierdorf providing the call for CBS. Colts win the toss and Chad Simpson takes a knee in the end zone.
Ravens don't bring much heat to start the game and Peyton Manning hits Austin Collie at the 40. Ravens are all over Joseph Addai the next play, though. Colts continue to take care of Baltimore's 4-man rush (technically, that's a blitz since they're a 3-4) as Manning hits Dallas Clark a yard short of the first down, which Mike Hart converts. They fake a DB blitz and bring the LBs up the middle, but the Colts pick it up expertly and Manning hits Pierre Garcon for 8, then another first down. Addai sweeps right for 7. The ball finally hits the ground as Ray Lewis breaks up a pass to Dallas Clark with a solid hit. They empty the backfield on 3rd-and-3, Donald Brown runs a bad pattern and creates a traffic jam 5 yards downfield with Garcon. That plus Justin (Race) Bannan beating the RG clean force Manning to throw into a crowd incomplete. Matt Stover hits a FG against his old team.
Colts 3, Ravens 0.
Jalen Parmalee brings the kickoff across midfield but Carl Cheffers (really? Carl Cheffers?) takes it back for a block in the back. That's a significant momentum swing all by itself. They start from their own 7 instead of Indy's 40. The Colts shut down Ray Rice on first down but leave Derrick Mason all alone on the far sideline for 17. Huh, end-around to Mark Clayton gets 8. LeRon McClain bulls across the 35 for the 1st down. Flacco hits Mason for 13 more and looks pretty composed so far. Hell, he's almost matched his yardage from last week already! Gary Brackett stuffs a screen to Rice in the open flat for no gain. Robert Mathis' jump on 3rd-and-7 from midfield was a little too good. 3rd-and-2 now. Wow, he didn't look offside in slow motion. Flacco GOES UP TOP on third-and-2 and drops a BEAUTIFUL pass into Mason's breadbasket at the Colt 18. Mind-bendingly, the Colts are stopping the run but have no clue how to stop Flacco. A Rice cutback gets them 3rd-and-short just inside the 10. Flacco gets the first down on a keeper. The Rams haven't run a QB sneak on 3rd-and-that long the whole time they've been in St. Louis. McClain drops a 2nd-and-goal pass in the flat though I'm not sure he would have gotten much out of it. Ravens go trips right and Flacco throws that direction, but Antoine Bethea jumps Clayton's route and blows what would have been a pick-six at the goal line. Ravens happily settle for the FG Bethea granted them.
Ravens 3, Colts 3.
The Ravens swamp Simpson at the Colt 13. This first quarter may barely take half an hour to play. Manning hits Clark at the 32 with an amazing pinpoint pass up the seam. After a handoff, Manning's next pass goes through Clark's hands in the flat to force 3rd-and-7. Peyton beats a safety blitz with a completion to Collie at the 45. Chris Carr breaks up a 2nd down pass to Collie; 3rd-and-7 again. The Ravens don't blitz, but Dwan Edwards (I think, neither Gumbel nor Dierdorf can be bothered to tell us) burns the left guard and forces a quick pass to Clark at midfield, well short of the first down. So they've forced a punt, which will kick off the 2nd quarter.
End of first quarter: Ravens 3, Colts 3.
SECOND QUARTER
Ravens start the quarter at the 9, and really, this game couldn't be going a whole lot better for them so far. Rice up the middle for 6, then for 2. Good fill by Brackett on 2nd down. Flacco ruins things by air mailing one well over Mason's head on third down. 3-and-out for Indy.
T.J. Rushing returns a poor kick across midfield, and the pressure's squarely on the Raven defense right now. Manning slams a pass off a Raven lineman on 2nd down but Addai avoids disaster by fielding the pop-up at the Raven 46. Just a 4-man rush on 3rd-and-7, but Manning steps up and overthrows Garcon by a country mile. Huge opportunity squandered by Indy there. Reggie Wayne in serious danger of becoming the latest WR to disappear this postseason.
Ravens take over at their 20, but the Colts 3-and-out them a second straight time. They stuff a screen to Rice on 2nd down, and on 3rd down, the RG Marshall Yanda lets the blitzing Brackett go to help pick up Dwight Freeney on a loop. Not sure I understand that at all. The now unblocked Brackett goes straight to Flacco for the sack.
Yeah, this game's just a bit different from the last two playoff games we've seen this year.
Colts at their 25, and here's Wayne, gaining 12 on a dig route and making an amazing, fully-extended grab for 11 on a quick slant. Donald Brown's first carry takes Indy across midfield. A lob for Wayne on a corner route misses by a lot, and we've got 3rd-and-6 again, with the Colts threatening to bog down at midfield again. Clark advances the chains, though, making a stumbling catch and diving for the 1st. The Ravens, who are usually described as a 3-4 defense, have vanilla-rushed 4 men the entire game, which is helping out their coverage, and Indy's season-long inability to run the ball may bite them in the ass yet tonight.
The Colts get a delay-of-game penalty at the 40 but Addai gets it back the next play, and a slant to him sets up 3rd-and-2 at the 33. They bring in DT Eric Foster the next play at fullback, but Haloti Ngata and Terrell Suggs blow up the right side of the Colt line anyway and take Addai down for a loss. The Colts line up to go for it on 4th-and-3 but the Ravens take a timeout.
4th and almost 4 from the Raven 35: the Colts empty the backfield and throw to Addai in the flat, and I'm not sure he got the ball across the line. Dannell Ellerbe spun him around with a solid hit at the sideline.
The refs give him the first down; John Harbaugh should challenge that. If he had to get the 31 like TV shows, he never did. Ellerbe's hit prevented it. Nice illegal pick by the Colts on the play, too.
OK, the marker on that side was short of the 31, so that's what I get for going by the line on TV. The spot was right where it should have been. Short of the TV line, but correctly good for a first down.
Manning hits Garcon at the 20. The first half is nearly over, though it's barely an hour old. Mike Hart(!) turns a pass in the flat into an 8-yard gain by spinning away from Ellerbe. Hart plows Mike Alstott-style for the first down at the 10. Though he's about half Alstott's size. First and goal.
TD pass to Collie in the far corner of the end zone, beating Domonique Foxworth. Great route (and head fake) by Collie, usual brilliant throw by Manning to cap off an 8-minute drive.
Colts 10, Ravens 3.
Two-minute warning.
Parmalee comes up short of the 20 on the return. Wow, they open up with an inside handoff to Rice for little gain. That's some attacking 2-minute offense there. Hell, Indy calls the time out. They think they can get the ball back. Lot better frame of mind then coming out with 2:00 left and planning to NOT SCORE. Freeney gets to Flacco on 2nd down and the pass misses Clayton by quite a bit. Rice bobbles a screen pass away for Baltimore's third straight 3-and-out. That possession couldn't have gone worse for the Ravens if they were trying to fail.
Colts have it back at their 38. You can feel a definite momentum shift here. Indy is clearly the team on the attack. Dumpoff to Brown for 8; he stops the clock with 1:20 left. Short pass to Clark to the Raven 45. Another dink to Garcon at the 41. Timeout with 0:55 left. Draw to Brown gets them down to the 27, after he SHOULDERS RAY LEWIS TO THE GROUND. Manning then goes to Wayne down the far sideline and he draws a pretty obvious pass interference on Foxworth. Baltimore takes a timeout with 0:28 left and the Colts at the 14. Manning misses an open Garcon in the near corner at 0:22. Lewis blasts a TD pass away from Collie, but with a helmet-to-helmet hit definitely worthy of a personal foul, though you can hear him complaining over the referee's mike to just let him play football. Colts at the 7, 0:17 left. Clark weaves with a short pass down to the 4. That did little but burn six seconds and cost the Colts their last timeout. Hang on, two seconds have mysteriously gotten back onto the clock. Suggs whips Charlie Johnson at LT and forces Manning to throw one into the ground. Peyton wants one more crack with 7 seconds left. Steve Spagnuolo would have kicked the FG about an hour ago. Harbaugh is VERY unhappy about something on the sideline, holding up 2 fingers and dropping B.S. bombs. The 2 seconds that re-materialized before the last play, maybe?
BALTIMORE THEN USES THEIR LAST TIMEOUT WITH THE PLAY CLOCK RUNNING OUT ON INDY? Ain't no good going to come out of that. The replay booth can't have anything to review, can it?
Manning hits Wayne slanting to the goal line for what could prove to be the decisive score of this game. Three seconds till halftime.
Colts 17, Ravens 3.
Squib kick runs out the rest of the clock.
Halftime score: Colts 17, Ravens 3.
I said the Colt defense was going to have to play big today, and they have. The Ravens had nine yards in the 2nd quarter and I'm fairly certain no first downs, since their last three drives went 3-and-out. Cam Cameron should be embarrassed at the way they ended the half, to be frank. They didn't even try to score when they got the ball with 2:00 left. Their coaching staff better come out of halftime a lot more aggressive than they were in the first half. The offense needs to come out attacking, and defensively, they're going to have to consider blitzing more, because they're putting no heat on Manning while still getting beaten through the air. For the Colts, keep it up on D and don't make any fatal mistakes on offense, and you're hosting the AFC Championship.
Fake halftime concert fans on the field: just one of many things I'd like to see banned from the NFL.
THIRD QUARTER
Perfect first half for Indy, who now have Baltimore exactly where they want them. Flacco's going to have to make some plays this half.
The Ravens start the 2nd half with a vanilla handoff to Rice for 2. I think Mason fumbled the 2nd-down pass, but it's ruled incomplete. Nice play by Melvin Bullitt to break it up either way. Flacco has to blow a timeout on third down with the clock running out. Ravens get out of trouble when Flacco beats Freeney's stunt with a dumpoff to Rice, and Rice charges almost out to midfield. A false start and a pass deflection by Raheem Brock on third down keep Baltimore from going any further. The Ravens down the punt at the 7, and better take advantage of that. Like right now.
Play-action pass to Brown and a quick slant to Wayne get Indy a first down. Halotia Ngata gets a step inside Ryan Diem, smokes him, and is on Manning so quickly that Peyton just hits the ground in the fetal position to avoid getting killed. Intriguingly, Manning rushes the next play and just barely misses Collie on a deep route over the middle. Garcon then loses a difficult kneeling catch at the sideline that would have been a first down. Crucial 3-and-out for Baltimore there.
Ravens at their 34. Rice off right tackle for 9. McClain can't fight through Brock for the first down off a fullback handoff. I don't think. Nope, 3rd and inches. False start on Jared Gaither, make it 3rd-and-5-plus-inches. Flacco hits Todd Heap for 13, to the strains of a surprisingly loud "HEEEEP" cry at Lucas Oil Field. Hoping to become the postseason Alex Barron, Gaither now gets called for a hold. A handoff and a nicely-setup screen pass to Rice, though, get them back up to 3rd-and-3. Flacco scrambles around forever before launching a crossfield lob for Rice, defended near-perfectly by Brackett. Demetrius Williams - THAT'S who you're throwing to on 4th-and-3? - makes a pretty poor effort on an out route and has the 4th-down pass go off his one extended hand. Colts ball.
Indy at their own 45. The Ravens appear to get a badly-needed play when Ed Reed jumps a deep sideline route to Garcon for an INT. He returns it deep into Colt territory, but trailing him downfield the whole way, Garcon catches up and BLASTS THE BALL away from Reed from behind. It bounces right to Dallas Clark and the Colts have the ball back.
Wow. I think this game may be over.
Manning overcomes a big loss by Brown by hitting Collie at the 40, though Edwards gets in another big hit. The Ravens blow a timeout on defense. A couple of plays later, Reed intercepts Manning again, and returns it inside the 10, but the opportunity for the pick came because Corey Ivy interfered pretty obviously with Dallas Clark. Put the Colts at the Raven 37 instead.
If John Harbaugh had coached as hard tonight as he's whined, maybe this would still be a game.
Manning hits Wayne, who makes a kneeling catch at the 20, for another first down. Ravens do appear to have increased their blitzing this drive but it's not helping. Let me roll the TiVo back and see what they were doing on the two INTs that were called back. They brought a safety blitz on the left side and a LB on the right side the first time. Boop beep. Just a 4-man rush the second time, though. Manning's throw looks poor, but again, because of the interference by Ivy. So you could argue the blitzing is working to some degree.
We're done with the third quarter, by the way, with the Colts driving to put the game away.
End of third quarter: Colts 17, Ravens 3.
FOURTH QUARTER
Colts are at the 9-yard line after a couple more completions at the end of the 3rd. Ivy blows up Brown for a 3-yard loss. Jarrett Johnson then absolutely whips Charlie Johnson and forces Manning to slide for a loss. 3rd-goal from the 16, the pass gets away from Manning and he overthrows Wayne pretty badly. Stover's good from 33 to expand the Indy advantage.
Colts 20, Ravens 3.
Now or never for the Baltimore offense. Two screens to Rice get pretty much nowhere. 3rd-and-5. Flacco does hit the previously invisible Kelley Washington at the 45 for a 1st down. Rice fights all the way down to the Colt 25 on a draw play, but Brock gets downfield to put a lick on him and force the ball loose, and it bounces to Clint Session to essentially end this game. Colts ball around their 20.
Indy goes into bleed-the-clock mode here, which will work especially well with Baltimore already down to one timeout. They burn off a couple of minutes and punt.
Ravens at their 23 with 9:00 left. A HANDOFF TO RICE gets squat, then Jacob Lacey breaks up a sideline pass for Clayton. Third down throw is behind Washington due to the pass rush and he can't come up with it. 3-and-out. 8:00 left, down 17, the Ravens punt instead of going for it. YOU NEED THREE SCORES!
Colts at their 26. They 3-and-out again after Manning can't connect with Collie on a lob pass.
Ravens at their 22, 6:30 left now. Heap and Williams break tackles for 10 yards on back-to-back plays. Now Rice breaks a couple of tackles after the catch for 15. Ravens at the Colt 40. Flacco goes deep for Mason a couple of plays later, but underthrows him badly and gets picked off by Bethea. Game over, man, game over! Bethea lands hard after the catch and may have injured his hip or lower back.
Colts take over at their 2 with 5:00 left. One first down and I'm putting this game in FU-mode. Well, a couple of handoffs get them to the 7; 3rd-and-5. Brown gets dragged down by the back of his helmet on a draw play but there's no call. The Ravens stop the clock one last time at 3:14. So much for FU-mode.
Do you think the Ravens' mouthpieces are grape flavored? They look like they would be pretty yummy. They'll get the ball at the Colt 43 with about 3:00 to go. Colts curiously bring a big blitz but Flacco hits Mason for 9. First down to Heap at the 27. Dumpoff to Rice loses yards at the 2:00 warning.
Yanda's false-started the last two plays but it's Indy getting called offsides on 3rd-and-7. Heap drops a short pass, and we're at the point of no return, 4th-and-2. As Yanda false-starts yet again without a call, the pass goes off Rice's hands and on to Jarod Powers for the game-ending interception and Baltimore's 4th turnover.
The Colts kneel it out and will host the AFC Championship next Sunday.
Final: Colts 20, Ravens 3.
MVP: I had Raheem Brock as a candidate even before he forced Rice's fumble, and that play put him over the top. Besides that play, he had four tackles, deflected a pass and was a thorn in Baltimore's side all night. Brock especially represents a dominating performance by the Colt defense and their d-line, the people who were under the gun coming into the game. They held Rice to 67 yards and forced 4 turnovers. The middle of their line was especially dominant.
Looking ahead: The Ravens are still a young team. They're just going to get better on the lines. Ngata and I think Suggs are Pro Bowlers, and guys like Bannan and Dwan Edwards make a lot of plays. Michael Oher and Yanda have really come on down the stretch. With lines as strong as they have, and getting stronger, they're in great shape for the future. But with Mason about 100 years old and having already tried to retire once, they are in desperate need of receiving threats.
The Colts worry me a little bit, funnily enough, because of their offense. They can't run a lick. And even more funnily, that may work for them if they meet San Diego next week, but not as likely if they run into the Jets. Again, I get a day to think about it.
Two pretty dull games today, in retrospect, a rerun of last Saturday. Let's hope Sunday makes up for it again. Cowboys vs. Vikings at noon tomorrow.
NFC Divisional Playoff: Saints 45, Big Dead 14
PREGAME
A lot of the attention has been focused on the passing games of each of these two teams. I'd hate to bet on the Big Dead even remotely slowing Drew Brees down nearly as much as I'd hate to bet against Kurt Warner. While the TV spotlight won't likely stray pass the two QBs, be a smart fan and analyze some other important stories. Arizona pass rush is going to be a huge key today. That's their best chance to slow Brees down. Jermon Bushrod has been a weak link on the Saint o-line; can DC Bill Davis exploit him? Conversely, the Saints' running game may be their offensive key. If they can establish run/pass balance, Arizona's probably screwed because it will keep heat off of Brees.
Cards need to rush Brees to win; Saints need to run well to win. Warner won't be Arizona's most important offensive player today, either. Today's the day I'd unleash Beanie Wells. He can give them the power running game that the Saints have been completely unable to control their previous three games, all losses. Wells' top priority is to not turn the ball over. If he accomplishes that as Arizona's offensive centerpiece today, they're in this game no matter what.
FIRST QUARTER
Broadcast crew for Fox will by Kenny Albert with Moose and Goose. And though I have no idea what purpose Rebecca Grant serves, I'm hoping to see frequent updates on whatever the hell it is that she thinks she's updating.
Rebecca Grant: further proof that God is a dude.
Meanwhile, Arizona has won the toss and LaRod Stephens-Howling (LSH) returns the opening kickoff to the 30. The noise level in the formerly hot and stinking Superdome is impressive.
DID SOMEBODY SAY THE CARDINALS COULD BEAT THE SAINTS ON THE GROUND TODAY!?!?!?!?
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?!?!
70 YARD TD BY TIM HIGHTOWER. (OK, so I picked the wrong guy.) The RG takes one LDT a mile out of the play, the LG gets out and EASILY sweeps aside the LB, and Arizona's off to the same start Baltimore got off to last week.
Holy cow! And Neil Rackers actually makes a kick, to boot!
Big Dead 7, Saints 0, 19 seconds into the game.
That Saint defense does not look like it came ready to play. Let's see if their offense did, starting from their 28. Darnell Dockett and Calais Campbell have come to play, stuffing Pierre Thomas on the Saints' opening play. Jeremy Shockey starts the trash-talking after catching a 4-yard pass in front of Antrell Rolle for a 1st. Brees then misses Shockey on a wide-open corner route. It was a free play because Chike Okeafor was offside. Aw hell no, Ron Winter is actually considered a playoff-caliber referee in this league? Reggie Bush sweeps right for 7 and a first down and is also quite demonstrative with the trash talking. The Saints better focus more on making plays and less on the witless bon mots they intend to make after plays. Clark Haggans breaks up a screen pass. 2nd-10 at the Az 46, Marques Colston's wide open underneath for a 17-yard catch-and-run. Bush sweeps left but then cuts back to the middle for 11. Brees pump-fakes and hits Shockey at the 5. Will anybody on the Saints cut out the damn trash talk? Pierre Thomas breaks a tackle and gets to the 1. The fans call for Deuce McAllister, recently re-acquired by the Saints. But it's Lynell? Hamilton???? with a fairly easy run for the TD. Saint o-line blew all kinds of holes in the Cardinal d-line there.
Big Dead 7, Saints 7.
Excellent, methodical drive by the trash-talking Saints there. Brees got them close with dinks and dunks and their running game polished it off. Bush looking like today's x-factor. Must-answer TD by the Saints as well.
How many RBs do the Saints have, btw? 106? Thomas? Mike Bell? Bush? McAlister? And Hamilton's the one scoring the TD?
LSH should have taken a knee, returning the deep kick only to the 18 instead.
And we have another 1-play drive for Arizona, but far worse for them this time. Kurt Warner hits Jhereme Urban over the middle for a 20-plus-yard reception, but Randall Gay tomahawks it out of his grasp from behind. Darren Sharper recovers at midfield and gives New Orleans the ball at the 37. Winters wastes our time with three personal foul calls after the play, all of which offset. This crew better get a grip on both teams. Every Saint player this side of Hokie Gajan is talking trash down there and they got away with starting the chaos after the fumble play with unnecessary shoving. The Saints may win today, but they're not getting there in admirable fashion.
The refs now appear to rip New Orleans out of a timeout with a quick start of the play clock. Drew Brees and Saint Nation aren't too happy.
Arizona in huge need of a stop here. They haven't come close to one thus far. All kinds of room for Thomas off LT for 8 yards. Haggans stops him up the middle for no gain, with the requisite trash talk. Cards still have NO IDEA on the short underneath passes, as Brees hits Colston for 12 on 3rd-and-1. From the 17, Brees gets at least 5 seconds to throw with no Arizona defender within 5 yards of him and hits Shockey at the goal line for a TD. Cards rushed only four and never got close, while Shockey beat Adrian Wilson.
Saints 14, Big Dead 7.
Arizona better figure something out on defense in a hurry; it looks like 7-on-7 training camp practice down there.
Saints are on a pace to score 112. Shockey got open and scored that TD despite limping around like Fred Sanford.
LSH out across the 30. And oh, boy, my projected game MVP Beanie Wells and Warner blow the exchange, nearly for another turnover. Warner then throws 10 feet over Larry Fitzgerald's head while getting hit by Scott Fujita, who Levi Brown barely even tried to block. Timeout Arizona now, 3rd-and-13. After BLOWING a chance to quick-snap and catch the NT offside - he was offside for a good three seconds - Arizona settles for a short underneath pass to Early Doucet and a punt. Ben Graham remembers how to punt after last week, and they smartly kick away from Bush.
But if they don't stop New Orleans here, this game is over.
Saints at their 23. Thomas up the middle for another 9, and I tell you, Bushrod is OWNING LT today. After a first down, Devery Henderson bounces off of Hamza Abdullah's pathetic tackle attempt for 16. And it appears Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie (DRC) is injured.
Am I a bad American because I have always hated the Dan Jansen story? I get it, his sister died. THAT was why he kept falling down like an idiot his first time in the Olympics? Really? 'Cause I have lost loved ones and haven't forgotten how to walk or anything like that. I always thought he was just a choker or possibly an idiot. How do you forget how to skate when you're, well, a damn skater? What quality can a skater actually be when he can't even stay upright on his own for an entire race? It's because of Dan Jansen that Olympic coverage has been all about touchy-feely crap for 15-20 years now instead of being about sports, and a large chunk of sports coverage has followed suit. 20 years ago I wouldn't have known who the world's best golfer's wife was, or whether she was being cheated on with 1-14 other women, either. Nobody would have cared.
Thanks, Dan Jansen.
And with that, game OVER, as Bush spins out of Bryant (STILL SUCKS) McFadden's tackle at the AZ43, dodges Calais Campbell, and picks up nice blocks from WRs and linemen downfield alike for a 47-yard TD. Arizona looks completely unprepared for Bush today and show little inclination of stopping the Saints at all.
Sure, the week I finally freaking pick them to win a postseason game, they go into the god damn tank.
Saints 21, Big Dead 7.
And now we're looking at the real possibility that right now, Kurt Warner is in the final game of his career.
LSH out to the 27. DRC is going off on a cart. Am I wrong to see this as an opportunity for the Rams next season? That's a big loss for their secondary and defense. Warner gets plenty of time but is sacked by Jonathan Vilma on a delayed blitz as we get our first, and possibly last ever, Brenda sighting. Can't hold the ball so long enough a delayed rush gets to you, Kurt. A run and a dumpoff just get back the yardage they lost on the sack. Time to punt and give up another Saints TD.
Saints get to the 34 and will face third-and-long to start the 2nd quarter.
End of 1st quarter: Saints 21, Big Dead 7.
SECOND QUARTER
Cardinals actually get a three-and-out! They blitz Brees on 3rd-and-7 and Greg Toler breaks up a pass over the middle for Lance Moore. Long punt goes into the end zone.
Warner hits Breaston at the 39. He unfortunately follows that by chucking a blind pass deep under pressure that Darren Sharper picks off. Oh, here's that roughing-the-passer penalty the refs didn't call AGAINST Arizona last week. Warner got tapped on the head. Cards to the Saints 44 as a result. Former Ram Scott Shanle got the penalty. Another former Ram, Anthony Becht, gets an 8-yard catch that Warner lets go of while getting DRILLED. They replay the roughing penalty, which was no worse than what happened to Aaron Rodgers last week's final play. I am FASCINATED that Goose and Moose are arguing back and forth about this call, with assumed tough-lineman-guy Goose DEFENDING the call, without bringing last week's game-winning play up. Quick dumpoff to Hightower up the seam gets to the Saints 25. I'm assuming they need about 24 more yards to get in Rackers' FG range. Maybe 23. Fitzgerald just barely fails to come up with a TD pass in double-coverage, leaving 3rd-and-2 at the 19. Warner gets all day and dumps off to Doucet on the drag, down to the 4. Wells stutter-steps and is in easily off RT for a 4-yard TD. No trash talk, I note, either.
Saints 21, Big Dead 14.
I just got a text from Kurt Warner telling me to quit declaring Arizona playoff games over before halftime.
Courtney Roby's kickoff return is only to the 17. After a good Bell run, they try to go deep and take advantage of DRC's absence, with Robert Meacham probably failing to catch up with Brees' bomb because he loses his shoe. On 3rd-and-5, Arizona lets Bush run for the first down anyway. Inexcusable. Brees goes deep off play-action over the middle to Colston for 36 to the Arizona 44. I think that was actually 26 yards. Play-action screwed up the Cardinal safeties there, and Sean Payton does it again with a brilliant call for the conditions: a flea-flicker, with Devery Henderson burning the awful McFadden for a 44-yard TD. Saints back in command.
Saints 28, Big Dead 14.
Hard as it may be to believe there are defensive backs out there who could not start for the Rams, Bryant McFadden is one of them.
I love 24 but I'm not exactly thrilled they're making Jack Bauer a grandpa this season. For one, Kim Bauer breeding isn't a good thing for even a fictional universe. And it's going to take the thrill out of car chases when Jack drives 5 mph below the limit in the fast lane with his left blinker on. And Chloe can hardly download satellite intel to a Jitterbug. (Though I wouldn't put it past her.)
LSH to the 28, tackled by Anthony Freaking Hargrove, who can somehow manage NOT to find ways to get himself in trouble in NEW ORLEANS after getting traded after a casino all-nighter in the rollicking sin city of St. Louis. Really?
Oh shit. Two plays into the drive, Warner doesn't get a middle pass over Will Smith's fingertips, and the Saint DE gets jiggy with the INT back inside the AZ 30. And Kurt got clobbered during the interception return with what can only be called a brutal cheap shot by Bobby McCray, the kind of blind shot that's supposed to be a penalty. Especially when done to a QB. What do you say, Ron Winters? No flag.
And obviously, the Cardinals aren't getting back into this thing with frat boy Matt Leinart at the wheel.
Thank God Kurt's back up and apparently in one piece. From the look on Brenda's face, this is Kurt's last season if he likes it or not. And let me say at this point that Moose and Goose are COMPLETELY USELESS today. That was a DIRTY hit on Warner. He's hit from the blind side. Defenders ALWAYS head-hunt for the QB on INT returns. McCray sized him up and drilled him from his blind side. THERE WAS NOTHING CLEAN ABOUT IT.
Impressive diving catch by Bush at the 15 as I typed that last rant. Again the Cards can't get the Saints off the field on 3rd down. End-around to Meachem gets down to the 5 as Payton continues to exploit Arizona's aggressiveness and makeshift secondary.
Then Goose rants about Darnell Dockett hitting Jeremy Shockey square in the back with that last play dying down. Inexcusable. No reason for it. He made it sound far more brutal than the hit New Orleans got away with a little bit ago.
DOCKETT DIDN'T HIT SHOCKEY ONE-TENTH AS HARD AS MCCRAY HIT WARNER!
Both plays were penalties. Tony Siragusa and Darrell Johnston are such god damned idiots today I may watch the second half with the sound off.
Warner's headed to the locker room as the 2:00 warning comes. The Saints false start and lose a Bell TD to a holding penalty along the way.
Cards bring a big blitz and Brees audibles to a back shoulder throw to Colston at the 2. McFadden beaten yet again. Brees hits Colston in the end zone on a quick turnaround for another TD. McFadden beaten YET AGAIN.
Saints 35, Big Dead 14.
Congratulations to Bryant McFadden, 2009-10 NFL Postseason Least Valuable Player.
Leinart at QB with 1:10 left. I suspect we'll see three handoffs and go to the half. NO, Leinart to Doucet over the middle for 6. Doucet has his helmet BLASTED OFF by Shanle with a clean hit. Leinart hits Doucet again for 5 and a 1st down. Timeout #2 with 0:32 remaining. Larry Fitzgerald gets off the milk carton with his FIRST catch today, at the AZ 48. About 14 more to Larry, who sprints out of bounds at the 39. Unfortunately they're still 37 yards out of Rackers' range with 8 seconds left. Leinart hits Urban down to the 33 with 2 seconds left. Pfft, here comes Rackers. This ball may hurt somebody in the stands. Payton IDIOTICALLY calls the stupid-ass freeze timeout the NFL should have made illegal two years ago, as Rackers' kick sails just wide to the right. Justice is not served to Payton as Rackers is on line but short from 51.
Halftime score: Saints 35, Big Dead 14.
Hard to see a lot of hope for Arizona in the 2nd half, though Leinart didn't piss himself the last minute of the 1st half. Can't believe he's going to throw them back into the game, which is what they're going to need. The Big Dead D better grow a set of stones and start stopping the Saint ground game. Also not seeming too likely. And their secondary is so bad without DRC that they might as well blitz the house every play and cross their fingers. Not sure they have a whole lot of choices available to them.
Looks like the NFC Championship's heading through the Crescent City. And I'm right back to my losing postseason ways, 2-3 now.
THIRD QUARTER
Rackers brilliantly begins the second half with a short kickoff out of bounds. Numb nut.
Impressive catch by Henderson in a crowd for 15. After Wilson disrupts a 3rd-and-3 screen pass for Bush, the Saints GO FOR IT on 4th down just across midfield. Nah, it was the old try-to-get-them-to-jump ruse. Looks like New Orleans is punting. The Saints down it at the 12.
AND WARNER IS BACK. Doucet fights across the 20 with a short pass. Sorry I forgot to mention until now that Anquan Boldin was out again today. Arizona then nonsensically tries to run Hightower twice, and Warner throws an incomplete pass on 3rd down while being hit. Will Smith actually keeps Warner from going to the turf. The Cardinals punt when indeed it may not be too early to start going for it.
We had the most telling Brenda-Cam shot of all time earlier. She can't watch the game with Kurt in there. She's keeping her eyes closed.
This isn't Madden Football.
Bush explodes off left tackle to midfield for 14 as the Saint o-line continues to dominate. Sean Payton is classlessly going to no-huddle while up 3 TDs. Brees hits Colston at the 40 and Calais Campbell's blow to Drew's knee gets N.O. 15 more. The Saints go for the end zone twice from the 25 but miss and settle for a Garrett Hartley FG from 43.
Saints 38, Big Dead 14.
Wow, we went from greatest luxury booth of all time (Dubya and Emmitt) to luxury box filled with two of the people I dislike the most: Saints owner Tom Benson, he of the dancing parasol and the wife about half his age; and the commissioner who tried to keep the NFL out of St. Louis, Paul TagliaBOO. That's a luxury booth I would like to leave a flaming bag of crap outside its door. No, not necessarily just dog crap.
Cards get one first down, but then Sharper breaks up a pass for Fitzgerald and the 3rd-down pass to him only gets 4. 7:00 left in the 3rd, and Arizona's punting again.
And giving up an 83-yard punt return to Bush, who just won today's MVP. To the delight of various Khardashians in the luxury level. Yeah, I might try to break into that suite.
Saints 45, Big Dead 14.
Bush took the punt on the far sideline, ran back to the middle of the field and cut upfield off a good block and long snapper Mike Leach falling down trying to change directions. That left the middle of the field wide open, and unlike Danny Amendola, Bush has little trouble eluding punters.
WARNER STILL IN as Arizona starts again at their 20. He hits Fitzgerald at the 40 with the Saints just rushing 3. That combo beats a blitz a couple of plays later to the Saint 35. Slow Saint stunt gives Kurt plenty of time to hit Steve Breaston inside the 20. Hightower drops a pitch right on 3rd-and-3. WHY ARE THEY RUNNING? 4th-and-3 at the 10. A blitz flushes Warner outside and he throws high for Breaston at the 5. Saints ball.
I'm starting to wonder if this game is going to end in time for the AFC game. The Saints do appear to be trying to pound out the clock now with Thomas. They're out to the 30 as the 3rd quarter runs out.
End of third quarter: Saints 45, Big Dead 14.
FOURTH QUARTER
Payton has little excuse to keep Brees in the game at this point, but he's still in. Screen to Bush gets them their third straight 1st down, across the 40. Thomas bulls across the 50 with another first down.
Hey, I want a banner in the Dome for all of our season sellouts as Rams fans.
Hamilton prances down inside the 35 as I believe I see Arizona defenders on their cell phones making tee times. On a 3rd-and-7 reception, Thomas gets stopped by Dansby a yard short at the 25, with DANSBY IDIOTICALLY TRASH TALKING HIM WELL AFTER THE PLAY IN A GAME HE IS LOSING BY MORE THAN FOUR TDs.
Mike Martz briefly invades the Saints' booth and calls an END AROUND TO THE TE Dave Thomas on 4th and 1. Wilson does a nice job to stop the play short. Arizona ball.
Leinart has replaced Warner. Looks like we could have seen Kurt Warner play his last game in the NFL, then, and God bless him for what he's done.
This is probably going to be preseason-quality the rest of the way. Leinart's lucky to avoid an INT after throwing directly to Roman Harper on 3rd down. Arizona punts.
The game's in FU-mode; I'm skipping to the finish. Even though Payton STILL HAS BREES IN A GAME HE'S WINNING BY 31 with 7:30 left.
The Saints move on to the formerly hot-and-stinking Superdome's first NFC Championship game.
MVP: If I were better at observing offensive line play, I might try to give today's game ball to someone like Jahri Evans. The Saints completely dominated the line of scrimmage today when they had the ball. The Cardinals barely pressured Brees at all, and the Saints ran all over them, too. Reggie Bush set the early tone for this game with some good rushes, broke the game open with his 47-yard rushing TD and put it away with his 83-yard punt return TD. That's Khardashian-worthy, and game-ball-worthy.
Looking ahead: Bill Bidwill's going down next year. If Warner retires, you could successfully argue the Cardinals need a QB. Leinart's not taking them anywhere. That secondary is a mess, too. McFadden was the NFL's worst player this postseason. And they're really in a bad way if DRC's injury is as serious as it looked, to have to cart him off. However, if they draft a good CB and can transition successfully into a running team, they've got a shot at repeating in the NFC West. This is the Big Dead, though. Without Warner, look for them to return to their old ways.
I think either of tomorrow's NFC competitors can still roll out of New Orleans with a win next week, but I get a day to think that through.
Ravens-Colts in just a bit.
A lot of the attention has been focused on the passing games of each of these two teams. I'd hate to bet on the Big Dead even remotely slowing Drew Brees down nearly as much as I'd hate to bet against Kurt Warner. While the TV spotlight won't likely stray pass the two QBs, be a smart fan and analyze some other important stories. Arizona pass rush is going to be a huge key today. That's their best chance to slow Brees down. Jermon Bushrod has been a weak link on the Saint o-line; can DC Bill Davis exploit him? Conversely, the Saints' running game may be their offensive key. If they can establish run/pass balance, Arizona's probably screwed because it will keep heat off of Brees.
Cards need to rush Brees to win; Saints need to run well to win. Warner won't be Arizona's most important offensive player today, either. Today's the day I'd unleash Beanie Wells. He can give them the power running game that the Saints have been completely unable to control their previous three games, all losses. Wells' top priority is to not turn the ball over. If he accomplishes that as Arizona's offensive centerpiece today, they're in this game no matter what.
FIRST QUARTER
Broadcast crew for Fox will by Kenny Albert with Moose and Goose. And though I have no idea what purpose Rebecca Grant serves, I'm hoping to see frequent updates on whatever the hell it is that she thinks she's updating.
Rebecca Grant: further proof that God is a dude.
Meanwhile, Arizona has won the toss and LaRod Stephens-Howling (LSH) returns the opening kickoff to the 30. The noise level in the formerly hot and stinking Superdome is impressive.
DID SOMEBODY SAY THE CARDINALS COULD BEAT THE SAINTS ON THE GROUND TODAY!?!?!?!?
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?!?!
70 YARD TD BY TIM HIGHTOWER. (OK, so I picked the wrong guy.) The RG takes one LDT a mile out of the play, the LG gets out and EASILY sweeps aside the LB, and Arizona's off to the same start Baltimore got off to last week.
Holy cow! And Neil Rackers actually makes a kick, to boot!
Big Dead 7, Saints 0, 19 seconds into the game.
That Saint defense does not look like it came ready to play. Let's see if their offense did, starting from their 28. Darnell Dockett and Calais Campbell have come to play, stuffing Pierre Thomas on the Saints' opening play. Jeremy Shockey starts the trash-talking after catching a 4-yard pass in front of Antrell Rolle for a 1st. Brees then misses Shockey on a wide-open corner route. It was a free play because Chike Okeafor was offside. Aw hell no, Ron Winter is actually considered a playoff-caliber referee in this league? Reggie Bush sweeps right for 7 and a first down and is also quite demonstrative with the trash talking. The Saints better focus more on making plays and less on the witless bon mots they intend to make after plays. Clark Haggans breaks up a screen pass. 2nd-10 at the Az 46, Marques Colston's wide open underneath for a 17-yard catch-and-run. Bush sweeps left but then cuts back to the middle for 11. Brees pump-fakes and hits Shockey at the 5. Will anybody on the Saints cut out the damn trash talk? Pierre Thomas breaks a tackle and gets to the 1. The fans call for Deuce McAllister, recently re-acquired by the Saints. But it's Lynell? Hamilton???? with a fairly easy run for the TD. Saint o-line blew all kinds of holes in the Cardinal d-line there.
Big Dead 7, Saints 7.
Excellent, methodical drive by the trash-talking Saints there. Brees got them close with dinks and dunks and their running game polished it off. Bush looking like today's x-factor. Must-answer TD by the Saints as well.
How many RBs do the Saints have, btw? 106? Thomas? Mike Bell? Bush? McAlister? And Hamilton's the one scoring the TD?
LSH should have taken a knee, returning the deep kick only to the 18 instead.
And we have another 1-play drive for Arizona, but far worse for them this time. Kurt Warner hits Jhereme Urban over the middle for a 20-plus-yard reception, but Randall Gay tomahawks it out of his grasp from behind. Darren Sharper recovers at midfield and gives New Orleans the ball at the 37. Winters wastes our time with three personal foul calls after the play, all of which offset. This crew better get a grip on both teams. Every Saint player this side of Hokie Gajan is talking trash down there and they got away with starting the chaos after the fumble play with unnecessary shoving. The Saints may win today, but they're not getting there in admirable fashion.
The refs now appear to rip New Orleans out of a timeout with a quick start of the play clock. Drew Brees and Saint Nation aren't too happy.
Arizona in huge need of a stop here. They haven't come close to one thus far. All kinds of room for Thomas off LT for 8 yards. Haggans stops him up the middle for no gain, with the requisite trash talk. Cards still have NO IDEA on the short underneath passes, as Brees hits Colston for 12 on 3rd-and-1. From the 17, Brees gets at least 5 seconds to throw with no Arizona defender within 5 yards of him and hits Shockey at the goal line for a TD. Cards rushed only four and never got close, while Shockey beat Adrian Wilson.
Saints 14, Big Dead 7.
Arizona better figure something out on defense in a hurry; it looks like 7-on-7 training camp practice down there.
Saints are on a pace to score 112. Shockey got open and scored that TD despite limping around like Fred Sanford.
LSH out across the 30. And oh, boy, my projected game MVP Beanie Wells and Warner blow the exchange, nearly for another turnover. Warner then throws 10 feet over Larry Fitzgerald's head while getting hit by Scott Fujita, who Levi Brown barely even tried to block. Timeout Arizona now, 3rd-and-13. After BLOWING a chance to quick-snap and catch the NT offside - he was offside for a good three seconds - Arizona settles for a short underneath pass to Early Doucet and a punt. Ben Graham remembers how to punt after last week, and they smartly kick away from Bush.
But if they don't stop New Orleans here, this game is over.
Saints at their 23. Thomas up the middle for another 9, and I tell you, Bushrod is OWNING LT today. After a first down, Devery Henderson bounces off of Hamza Abdullah's pathetic tackle attempt for 16. And it appears Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie (DRC) is injured.
Am I a bad American because I have always hated the Dan Jansen story? I get it, his sister died. THAT was why he kept falling down like an idiot his first time in the Olympics? Really? 'Cause I have lost loved ones and haven't forgotten how to walk or anything like that. I always thought he was just a choker or possibly an idiot. How do you forget how to skate when you're, well, a damn skater? What quality can a skater actually be when he can't even stay upright on his own for an entire race? It's because of Dan Jansen that Olympic coverage has been all about touchy-feely crap for 15-20 years now instead of being about sports, and a large chunk of sports coverage has followed suit. 20 years ago I wouldn't have known who the world's best golfer's wife was, or whether she was being cheated on with 1-14 other women, either. Nobody would have cared.
Thanks, Dan Jansen.
And with that, game OVER, as Bush spins out of Bryant (STILL SUCKS) McFadden's tackle at the AZ43, dodges Calais Campbell, and picks up nice blocks from WRs and linemen downfield alike for a 47-yard TD. Arizona looks completely unprepared for Bush today and show little inclination of stopping the Saints at all.
Sure, the week I finally freaking pick them to win a postseason game, they go into the god damn tank.
Saints 21, Big Dead 7.
And now we're looking at the real possibility that right now, Kurt Warner is in the final game of his career.
LSH out to the 27. DRC is going off on a cart. Am I wrong to see this as an opportunity for the Rams next season? That's a big loss for their secondary and defense. Warner gets plenty of time but is sacked by Jonathan Vilma on a delayed blitz as we get our first, and possibly last ever, Brenda sighting. Can't hold the ball so long enough a delayed rush gets to you, Kurt. A run and a dumpoff just get back the yardage they lost on the sack. Time to punt and give up another Saints TD.
Saints get to the 34 and will face third-and-long to start the 2nd quarter.
End of 1st quarter: Saints 21, Big Dead 7.
SECOND QUARTER
Cardinals actually get a three-and-out! They blitz Brees on 3rd-and-7 and Greg Toler breaks up a pass over the middle for Lance Moore. Long punt goes into the end zone.
Warner hits Breaston at the 39. He unfortunately follows that by chucking a blind pass deep under pressure that Darren Sharper picks off. Oh, here's that roughing-the-passer penalty the refs didn't call AGAINST Arizona last week. Warner got tapped on the head. Cards to the Saints 44 as a result. Former Ram Scott Shanle got the penalty. Another former Ram, Anthony Becht, gets an 8-yard catch that Warner lets go of while getting DRILLED. They replay the roughing penalty, which was no worse than what happened to Aaron Rodgers last week's final play. I am FASCINATED that Goose and Moose are arguing back and forth about this call, with assumed tough-lineman-guy Goose DEFENDING the call, without bringing last week's game-winning play up. Quick dumpoff to Hightower up the seam gets to the Saints 25. I'm assuming they need about 24 more yards to get in Rackers' FG range. Maybe 23. Fitzgerald just barely fails to come up with a TD pass in double-coverage, leaving 3rd-and-2 at the 19. Warner gets all day and dumps off to Doucet on the drag, down to the 4. Wells stutter-steps and is in easily off RT for a 4-yard TD. No trash talk, I note, either.
Saints 21, Big Dead 14.
I just got a text from Kurt Warner telling me to quit declaring Arizona playoff games over before halftime.
Courtney Roby's kickoff return is only to the 17. After a good Bell run, they try to go deep and take advantage of DRC's absence, with Robert Meacham probably failing to catch up with Brees' bomb because he loses his shoe. On 3rd-and-5, Arizona lets Bush run for the first down anyway. Inexcusable. Brees goes deep off play-action over the middle to Colston for 36 to the Arizona 44. I think that was actually 26 yards. Play-action screwed up the Cardinal safeties there, and Sean Payton does it again with a brilliant call for the conditions: a flea-flicker, with Devery Henderson burning the awful McFadden for a 44-yard TD. Saints back in command.
Saints 28, Big Dead 14.
Hard as it may be to believe there are defensive backs out there who could not start for the Rams, Bryant McFadden is one of them.
I love 24 but I'm not exactly thrilled they're making Jack Bauer a grandpa this season. For one, Kim Bauer breeding isn't a good thing for even a fictional universe. And it's going to take the thrill out of car chases when Jack drives 5 mph below the limit in the fast lane with his left blinker on. And Chloe can hardly download satellite intel to a Jitterbug. (Though I wouldn't put it past her.)
LSH to the 28, tackled by Anthony Freaking Hargrove, who can somehow manage NOT to find ways to get himself in trouble in NEW ORLEANS after getting traded after a casino all-nighter in the rollicking sin city of St. Louis. Really?
Oh shit. Two plays into the drive, Warner doesn't get a middle pass over Will Smith's fingertips, and the Saint DE gets jiggy with the INT back inside the AZ 30. And Kurt got clobbered during the interception return with what can only be called a brutal cheap shot by Bobby McCray, the kind of blind shot that's supposed to be a penalty. Especially when done to a QB. What do you say, Ron Winters? No flag.
And obviously, the Cardinals aren't getting back into this thing with frat boy Matt Leinart at the wheel.
Thank God Kurt's back up and apparently in one piece. From the look on Brenda's face, this is Kurt's last season if he likes it or not. And let me say at this point that Moose and Goose are COMPLETELY USELESS today. That was a DIRTY hit on Warner. He's hit from the blind side. Defenders ALWAYS head-hunt for the QB on INT returns. McCray sized him up and drilled him from his blind side. THERE WAS NOTHING CLEAN ABOUT IT.
Impressive diving catch by Bush at the 15 as I typed that last rant. Again the Cards can't get the Saints off the field on 3rd down. End-around to Meachem gets down to the 5 as Payton continues to exploit Arizona's aggressiveness and makeshift secondary.
Then Goose rants about Darnell Dockett hitting Jeremy Shockey square in the back with that last play dying down. Inexcusable. No reason for it. He made it sound far more brutal than the hit New Orleans got away with a little bit ago.
DOCKETT DIDN'T HIT SHOCKEY ONE-TENTH AS HARD AS MCCRAY HIT WARNER!
Both plays were penalties. Tony Siragusa and Darrell Johnston are such god damned idiots today I may watch the second half with the sound off.
Warner's headed to the locker room as the 2:00 warning comes. The Saints false start and lose a Bell TD to a holding penalty along the way.
Cards bring a big blitz and Brees audibles to a back shoulder throw to Colston at the 2. McFadden beaten yet again. Brees hits Colston in the end zone on a quick turnaround for another TD. McFadden beaten YET AGAIN.
Saints 35, Big Dead 14.
Congratulations to Bryant McFadden, 2009-10 NFL Postseason Least Valuable Player.
Leinart at QB with 1:10 left. I suspect we'll see three handoffs and go to the half. NO, Leinart to Doucet over the middle for 6. Doucet has his helmet BLASTED OFF by Shanle with a clean hit. Leinart hits Doucet again for 5 and a 1st down. Timeout #2 with 0:32 remaining. Larry Fitzgerald gets off the milk carton with his FIRST catch today, at the AZ 48. About 14 more to Larry, who sprints out of bounds at the 39. Unfortunately they're still 37 yards out of Rackers' range with 8 seconds left. Leinart hits Urban down to the 33 with 2 seconds left. Pfft, here comes Rackers. This ball may hurt somebody in the stands. Payton IDIOTICALLY calls the stupid-ass freeze timeout the NFL should have made illegal two years ago, as Rackers' kick sails just wide to the right. Justice is not served to Payton as Rackers is on line but short from 51.
Halftime score: Saints 35, Big Dead 14.
Hard to see a lot of hope for Arizona in the 2nd half, though Leinart didn't piss himself the last minute of the 1st half. Can't believe he's going to throw them back into the game, which is what they're going to need. The Big Dead D better grow a set of stones and start stopping the Saint ground game. Also not seeming too likely. And their secondary is so bad without DRC that they might as well blitz the house every play and cross their fingers. Not sure they have a whole lot of choices available to them.
Looks like the NFC Championship's heading through the Crescent City. And I'm right back to my losing postseason ways, 2-3 now.
THIRD QUARTER
Rackers brilliantly begins the second half with a short kickoff out of bounds. Numb nut.
Impressive catch by Henderson in a crowd for 15. After Wilson disrupts a 3rd-and-3 screen pass for Bush, the Saints GO FOR IT on 4th down just across midfield. Nah, it was the old try-to-get-them-to-jump ruse. Looks like New Orleans is punting. The Saints down it at the 12.
AND WARNER IS BACK. Doucet fights across the 20 with a short pass. Sorry I forgot to mention until now that Anquan Boldin was out again today. Arizona then nonsensically tries to run Hightower twice, and Warner throws an incomplete pass on 3rd down while being hit. Will Smith actually keeps Warner from going to the turf. The Cardinals punt when indeed it may not be too early to start going for it.
We had the most telling Brenda-Cam shot of all time earlier. She can't watch the game with Kurt in there. She's keeping her eyes closed.
This isn't Madden Football.
Bush explodes off left tackle to midfield for 14 as the Saint o-line continues to dominate. Sean Payton is classlessly going to no-huddle while up 3 TDs. Brees hits Colston at the 40 and Calais Campbell's blow to Drew's knee gets N.O. 15 more. The Saints go for the end zone twice from the 25 but miss and settle for a Garrett Hartley FG from 43.
Saints 38, Big Dead 14.
Wow, we went from greatest luxury booth of all time (Dubya and Emmitt) to luxury box filled with two of the people I dislike the most: Saints owner Tom Benson, he of the dancing parasol and the wife about half his age; and the commissioner who tried to keep the NFL out of St. Louis, Paul TagliaBOO. That's a luxury booth I would like to leave a flaming bag of crap outside its door. No, not necessarily just dog crap.
Cards get one first down, but then Sharper breaks up a pass for Fitzgerald and the 3rd-down pass to him only gets 4. 7:00 left in the 3rd, and Arizona's punting again.
And giving up an 83-yard punt return to Bush, who just won today's MVP. To the delight of various Khardashians in the luxury level. Yeah, I might try to break into that suite.
Saints 45, Big Dead 14.
Bush took the punt on the far sideline, ran back to the middle of the field and cut upfield off a good block and long snapper Mike Leach falling down trying to change directions. That left the middle of the field wide open, and unlike Danny Amendola, Bush has little trouble eluding punters.
WARNER STILL IN as Arizona starts again at their 20. He hits Fitzgerald at the 40 with the Saints just rushing 3. That combo beats a blitz a couple of plays later to the Saint 35. Slow Saint stunt gives Kurt plenty of time to hit Steve Breaston inside the 20. Hightower drops a pitch right on 3rd-and-3. WHY ARE THEY RUNNING? 4th-and-3 at the 10. A blitz flushes Warner outside and he throws high for Breaston at the 5. Saints ball.
I'm starting to wonder if this game is going to end in time for the AFC game. The Saints do appear to be trying to pound out the clock now with Thomas. They're out to the 30 as the 3rd quarter runs out.
End of third quarter: Saints 45, Big Dead 14.
FOURTH QUARTER
Payton has little excuse to keep Brees in the game at this point, but he's still in. Screen to Bush gets them their third straight 1st down, across the 40. Thomas bulls across the 50 with another first down.
Hey, I want a banner in the Dome for all of our season sellouts as Rams fans.
Hamilton prances down inside the 35 as I believe I see Arizona defenders on their cell phones making tee times. On a 3rd-and-7 reception, Thomas gets stopped by Dansby a yard short at the 25, with DANSBY IDIOTICALLY TRASH TALKING HIM WELL AFTER THE PLAY IN A GAME HE IS LOSING BY MORE THAN FOUR TDs.
Mike Martz briefly invades the Saints' booth and calls an END AROUND TO THE TE Dave Thomas on 4th and 1. Wilson does a nice job to stop the play short. Arizona ball.
Leinart has replaced Warner. Looks like we could have seen Kurt Warner play his last game in the NFL, then, and God bless him for what he's done.
This is probably going to be preseason-quality the rest of the way. Leinart's lucky to avoid an INT after throwing directly to Roman Harper on 3rd down. Arizona punts.
The game's in FU-mode; I'm skipping to the finish. Even though Payton STILL HAS BREES IN A GAME HE'S WINNING BY 31 with 7:30 left.
The Saints move on to the formerly hot-and-stinking Superdome's first NFC Championship game.
MVP: If I were better at observing offensive line play, I might try to give today's game ball to someone like Jahri Evans. The Saints completely dominated the line of scrimmage today when they had the ball. The Cardinals barely pressured Brees at all, and the Saints ran all over them, too. Reggie Bush set the early tone for this game with some good rushes, broke the game open with his 47-yard rushing TD and put it away with his 83-yard punt return TD. That's Khardashian-worthy, and game-ball-worthy.
Looking ahead: Bill Bidwill's going down next year. If Warner retires, you could successfully argue the Cardinals need a QB. Leinart's not taking them anywhere. That secondary is a mess, too. McFadden was the NFL's worst player this postseason. And they're really in a bad way if DRC's injury is as serious as it looked, to have to cart him off. However, if they draft a good CB and can transition successfully into a running team, they've got a shot at repeating in the NFC West. This is the Big Dead, though. Without Warner, look for them to return to their old ways.
I think either of tomorrow's NFC competitors can still roll out of New Orleans with a win next week, but I get a day to think that through.
Ravens-Colts in just a bit.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Pat Shurmur: nowhere to go but up (and other assistant coaching notes)
Pro Football Weekly just released its ratings of the NFL's offensive coordinators, and guess where the Rams came in.
32nd. PFW ranked EVERYBODY ahead of Pat Shurmur. Everybody includes the offensive coordinators at Buffalo and Tampa, who both fired their previous OC right before the season started. Everybody includes Dan Henning (Miami, 19th), who I think is on his 19th team as an OC. Everybody includes the awful Ron Turner (Chicago, 25th), who's already been fired. Everybody includes the Browns' OC, Brian Daboll (26th); how many times did they fail to throw for even 100 yards? Everybody includes the Neanderthal Tom Cable (29th), who shouldn't even be allowed to coach in this league. Everybody includes Jim Freaking Zorn (23rd), who couldn't coach or play-call his way out of a paper bag this season. The Tampa OC I mentioned earlier, Greg Olson (24th), called plays here for a while, before another guy took over for him. Scott Freaking Linehan. 28th. All ahead of Shurmur. (Jason Garrett of Dallas came in first, followed by Sean Payton and Peyton Manning. OK, supposedly Tom Moore of the Colts.)
I didn't have much of anything good to say about Shurmur in his first season, but between the suspicion that Steve Spagnuolo keeps him on a very short leash and the Rams' utter lack of offensive talent not numbered 39, I doubt any pieces of his coaching style have gotten to come through and shine at all. He's shown some creativity (just not much). He's shown he can string a few good play-calls together at a time (will be nice if he Googles "play-action" this offseason, though; just sayin).
Injuries put a lot of these guys in the same boat. I would tend to rank Turner at the bottom for squandering talent, Cable for that and for being a troglodyte, and Daboll for Cleveland's dreadful offense most of the season. But Shurmur definitely needs to step up and open up his game in 2010.
==========
Interesting contrast: when the Rams play the Chiefs next year, it'll be Shurmur and Ken Flajole (who I think came in about 28th in PFW's defensive coordinator poll) matching wits with - Charlie Weis and Romeo Crennel, reuniting with Scott Pioli to try to repeat their history-making success in New England. Gotta give the Chiefs huge credit here; this offseason has been a major coup for their organization, a big boost to their coaching staff. Their approach to boosting the coaching staff with pricey name talent, vs. the Rams' staff full of nobodies, will certainly be under the microscope as the Chiefs and Rams try to crawl out from under some awful recent seasons. And dramatically reduces my expectations that the Rams can finally beat a team they haven't beaten since 1994.
==========
If nothing else went right for Steve Spagnuolo this season, at least he has proof the Giants missed him. They fired his replacement, Bill Sheridan, immediately after his only season as their DC. The G-Men got shellacked for over 40 points both of the season's last two weeks. They fell all the way from 5th (18.4) to 30th (26.7) in the league in points allowed. They slid from 5th (292 ypg) to 13th (325) in total yards. 9th (96) to 14th (111) in rushing. 9th (196) to 15th (214) in passing. From 6th in sacks with 42 to 18th with 32.
Former Ram secondary coach, most recently Buffalo interim HC Perry Fewell, is under serious consideration as the Giants' next DC.
==========
He won't be the only former Rams coach the Rams will face as an opposing DC next season. If the Rams win only one game again next year, I'm praying for it to be against Washington, who have hired Jim Haslett as their new DC and for whom the Rams game will be the Super Bowl. The chance Haslett gets the comeuppance I hope for? Probably slim to none. Let's face it; he'll look a lot better coaching some actual defensive talent. He'll have an actual pass rush with Albert Haynesworth and Brian Orakpo, he'll have London Fletcher, a pretty talented secondary... quite a few legs up from where he was here. He'll return to the 3-4, where he had his early career success, with the Skins instead of the 4-3 dictated by the personnel he previously had in New Orleans and St. Louis. Plus he knows he won't be able to tank his way to the head coach's job in D.C. Haslett will come blitzing off the bus that week - hell, he might even let his DBs line up within 10 yards of the receivers at the snap! - and the Rams will never know what hit them.
I hate Jim Haslett.
==========
Another interesting move comes from Seattle, where Pete Carroll of the Rooney-Rule-immune Seahawks (PFW agrees the Rooney Rule is a joke here) is expected to lure offensive line coaching legend Alex Gibbs away from the Texans.
If the Rams teach Ndamukong Suh nothing else in his rookie season, it better be how to avoid dirty cut blocks, which Gibbs has built a career on and which we can expect to see from the Seattle o-line on a regular basis.
I can see the start of the 2010 season now. The Rams lose at Seattle after Suh gets a knee blown out by a dirty block. They get completely outcoached in their home opener against Kansas City and lose to the Chiefs for the 5th straight time. Then the Redskins come here, blitz aggressively every play and smother the Rams with press coverage in a 35-0 blowout.
Maybe I better go home and take some happy pills.
==========
Edited/corrected to remove incorrect item about Buffalo head coaching search (Brian Schottenheimer did not interview with them).
32nd. PFW ranked EVERYBODY ahead of Pat Shurmur. Everybody includes the offensive coordinators at Buffalo and Tampa, who both fired their previous OC right before the season started. Everybody includes Dan Henning (Miami, 19th), who I think is on his 19th team as an OC. Everybody includes the awful Ron Turner (Chicago, 25th), who's already been fired. Everybody includes the Browns' OC, Brian Daboll (26th); how many times did they fail to throw for even 100 yards? Everybody includes the Neanderthal Tom Cable (29th), who shouldn't even be allowed to coach in this league. Everybody includes Jim Freaking Zorn (23rd), who couldn't coach or play-call his way out of a paper bag this season. The Tampa OC I mentioned earlier, Greg Olson (24th), called plays here for a while, before another guy took over for him. Scott Freaking Linehan. 28th. All ahead of Shurmur. (Jason Garrett of Dallas came in first, followed by Sean Payton and Peyton Manning. OK, supposedly Tom Moore of the Colts.)
I didn't have much of anything good to say about Shurmur in his first season, but between the suspicion that Steve Spagnuolo keeps him on a very short leash and the Rams' utter lack of offensive talent not numbered 39, I doubt any pieces of his coaching style have gotten to come through and shine at all. He's shown some creativity (just not much). He's shown he can string a few good play-calls together at a time (will be nice if he Googles "play-action" this offseason, though; just sayin).
Injuries put a lot of these guys in the same boat. I would tend to rank Turner at the bottom for squandering talent, Cable for that and for being a troglodyte, and Daboll for Cleveland's dreadful offense most of the season. But Shurmur definitely needs to step up and open up his game in 2010.
==========
Interesting contrast: when the Rams play the Chiefs next year, it'll be Shurmur and Ken Flajole (who I think came in about 28th in PFW's defensive coordinator poll) matching wits with - Charlie Weis and Romeo Crennel, reuniting with Scott Pioli to try to repeat their history-making success in New England. Gotta give the Chiefs huge credit here; this offseason has been a major coup for their organization, a big boost to their coaching staff. Their approach to boosting the coaching staff with pricey name talent, vs. the Rams' staff full of nobodies, will certainly be under the microscope as the Chiefs and Rams try to crawl out from under some awful recent seasons. And dramatically reduces my expectations that the Rams can finally beat a team they haven't beaten since 1994.
==========
If nothing else went right for Steve Spagnuolo this season, at least he has proof the Giants missed him. They fired his replacement, Bill Sheridan, immediately after his only season as their DC. The G-Men got shellacked for over 40 points both of the season's last two weeks. They fell all the way from 5th (18.4) to 30th (26.7) in the league in points allowed. They slid from 5th (292 ypg) to 13th (325) in total yards. 9th (96) to 14th (111) in rushing. 9th (196) to 15th (214) in passing. From 6th in sacks with 42 to 18th with 32.
Former Ram secondary coach, most recently Buffalo interim HC Perry Fewell, is under serious consideration as the Giants' next DC.
==========
He won't be the only former Rams coach the Rams will face as an opposing DC next season. If the Rams win only one game again next year, I'm praying for it to be against Washington, who have hired Jim Haslett as their new DC and for whom the Rams game will be the Super Bowl. The chance Haslett gets the comeuppance I hope for? Probably slim to none. Let's face it; he'll look a lot better coaching some actual defensive talent. He'll have an actual pass rush with Albert Haynesworth and Brian Orakpo, he'll have London Fletcher, a pretty talented secondary... quite a few legs up from where he was here. He'll return to the 3-4, where he had his early career success, with the Skins instead of the 4-3 dictated by the personnel he previously had in New Orleans and St. Louis. Plus he knows he won't be able to tank his way to the head coach's job in D.C. Haslett will come blitzing off the bus that week - hell, he might even let his DBs line up within 10 yards of the receivers at the snap! - and the Rams will never know what hit them.
I hate Jim Haslett.
==========
Another interesting move comes from Seattle, where Pete Carroll of the Rooney-Rule-immune Seahawks (PFW agrees the Rooney Rule is a joke here) is expected to lure offensive line coaching legend Alex Gibbs away from the Texans.
If the Rams teach Ndamukong Suh nothing else in his rookie season, it better be how to avoid dirty cut blocks, which Gibbs has built a career on and which we can expect to see from the Seattle o-line on a regular basis.
I can see the start of the 2010 season now. The Rams lose at Seattle after Suh gets a knee blown out by a dirty block. They get completely outcoached in their home opener against Kansas City and lose to the Chiefs for the 5th straight time. Then the Redskins come here, blitz aggressively every play and smother the Rams with press coverage in a 35-0 blowout.
Maybe I better go home and take some happy pills.
==========
Edited/corrected to remove incorrect item about Buffalo head coaching search (Brian Schottenheimer did not interview with them).
Sunday, January 10, 2010
NFC Wild Card Playoff: Big Dead 51, Packers 45 (OT)
PREGAME
Various computer problems gave me about 2 minutes to write a pregame blurb. Arizona's going to be without Anquan Boldin, and they don't usually have a running game to speak of... how are they going to overcome all that to reverse last week's blowout at the Packers' hands? Who'll win the key matchups - Larry Fitzgerald vs. Charles Woodson? Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie (DRC from here on in) vs. Greg Jennings? Will this really be Kurt Warner's last game? Stay tuned, and cross your fingers that I can get through ONE LOUSY FREAKING GAME without my computer, browser, TiVo, satellite receiver, television or brain blowing up...
FIRST QUARTER
Roof is closed in Arizona, though it was originally reported as open. Is that really that hard a detail to get right? Buck and Aikman with the call for Fox.
Jordy Nelson gets schmeared at the 20 with the opening kickoff return. And, well, here's a start, and it looks like I'm following my 2-0 yesterday with an 0-2 today. Aaron Rodgers rolls right on the first play of the game, fires for Donald Lee just before he hits the sideline, but Karlos Dansby steps in front of the pass and tips it to DRC for an interception. Arizona ball at the 40. Stupid play by Rodgers. The Ravens and Big Dead are intent on destroying my postseason bracket again this year. I may have started 2-0 but don't rule out another 3-8.
Warner hits Jhereme Urban on 3rd-and-8 to keep Arizona's first drive alive. Green Bay left him wide open in the flat. Beanie Wells plows up the middle off the LT's block down to the 10. A false start sets them back but Warner hits Steve Breaston on a slant at the 5. A screen to LeRod Stephens-Howling gets them inside the 1. I'm not calling him The Hyphen out of respect to Nate Hobgood-Chittick. Tim Hightower dives in for the game's opening TD.
Big Dead 7, Packers 0.
Rodgers had better pull his head out in a hurry.
Nelson's down at the 20 again despite breaking half a dozen tackles. After a 10-yard run by Ryan Grant, Donald Driver gets the ball ripped out of his hands by Dansby for another turnover. Arizona ball at the Packer 20. For crying out loud. This is heading toward a blowout in the opposite direction from last week. And Dansby's making an early run at game MVP.
Early Freaking Doucet is left WIDE OPEN over the middle for a 15-yard TD catch from Warner. Cards can already start preparing for New Orleans. Just like the noon game, only one team has come to play this evening.
Big Dead 14, Packers 0.
Nelson's taken down at the 15 this time. A late hit moves them back inside the 10. Oh the humanity. Green Bay does manage a first down without a turnover for once, thanks to an Ahman Green run. Rodgers misses a bomb to Greg Jennings, who had Ralph Brown scorched, on the next 2nd down, then gets mangled by Bertran Berry on 3rd down. Green Bay can't even get the punt off without a false start. Amazing how bad they look compared to just last week.
When we return, Clay Matthews blows up a flea-flicker attempt for a sack/fumble, but Arizona recovers, and Fitzgerald gets the first on a slant the next play. Now Warner hits Ben Patrick over the middle for 22. With Boldin out, the Packers should have been smart enough to look out for the TEs today. Arizona already back in FG range. Green Bay leaves Breaston wide open when Trammond Williams leaves him to cover the RB in the flat. Another nice gain and Arizona's back inside the 10. After Nick Collins shuts down Wells outside for a loss, Warner settles for a completion to Doucet at the 5 and Arizona settles for another FG. Kurt waits a half second, Fitzgerald was breaking open in the end zone. The lead grows anyway.
Big Dead 17, Packers 0.
The next Arizona kickoff is STUPIDLY short and Green Bay brings it to the 38. Rodgers has to throw the 1st-down pass away with two blitzers coming at him up the middle. Grant only gets a couple the next play and another punt, or a turnover, appears imminent to start the second quarter.
End of first quarter: Big Dead 17, Packers 0.
SECOND QUARTER
Live by the blitz, die by the blitz, and Arizona dies here as Rodgers hits Jennings deep over the middle for 27. Chike Okeafor chases him down for a sack at the AZ 38 the next play. The Packers follow that with a useless short run to get to 3rd-and-11. Rodgers overthrows James Jones popping open over the deep middle. They give Mason Crosby a shot at a 54-yard FG, but he barely misses to the right. Not going to be a good night in Wisconsin.
Arizona gets to start at their 44 after the missed FG. Heh, the Fox Robot just appeared to stick his arm up an Arizona cheerleader's skirt. Yes, I am 12 years old. Ryan Pickett appears to steal the ball from Hightower on a screen but the refs called Hightower down. Making that even worse is an end-around to Breaston for 27. Fitzgerald blocked one DB and Breaston juked another. Perhaps mistakenly thinking he was still playing on my fantasy team, though, Fitzgerald fumbles the next play. Nice play by Woodson to strip it out, and Matthews returns it nearly to midfield.
Hey, look at that great teammate Kurt Warner cussing out Fitzgerald all the way off the field for a play that was really more a great defensive play than anything awful or stupid or lazy that Fitzgerald did.
Grant bounds away for 10 after the turnover. They go to him again on a pitch right and Gerald Hayes draws a penalty for a not-very-flagrant example of a horse-collar tackle. Green Bay at the Arizona 27. Grant makes a great cutback left with both teams moving hard to the right for 20 more. He obviously knows he's not playing for my fantasy team today. Green gets stuffed, and Berry gets his second sack of the day, to make it 3rd-and-goal from the 12. DPI on Michael Adams defending Driver puts the Packers at the 1. Good, and obvious, call. I don't know what the f*ck the Arizona crowd is booing about. Perhaps they have never heard that the NFL has a penalty for pass interference. (Especially offensive PI, given the garbage Fitzgerald gets away with sometimes.) Rodgers eventually sneaks across for Green Bay's first score.
Big Dead 17, Packers 7.
Aikman eventually figures out that Warner was yelling at Doucet earlier, not Fitzgerald. This has been an awful, mistake-filled broadcast by him and Buck so far. I mean, they didn't even know the dome was closed at the start of the game! They're so bad I suspect one or both of them is drunk right now.
Just under 7 minutes till halftime - another stop is critical for the Packers right now. LSH stopped at the 20 on the kick return.
OK, that's the silliest product feature I have heard of in some time. Did I hear that right?
TurboTax with GPS?
Freaking Fox. They say the playoff games are 2:30 Saturday and 11:00 Sunday. Is that kickoff? The pregame show? Probably the latter, but I'm going to have to tune in to make sure because they're intentionally unclear about it. Jackasses.
Hey, check out Brandon Chillar with the cheap late hit on Warner!
Hey, check out drunken Joe Buck totally butchering Dick Vermeil's famous quote after Trent Green got hurt in August 1999. Joe thinks Dick said "we're going to play Kurt Warner, and we're going to go on?" I appreciate the reminiscing, but could we get within 20% of the actual quote?
WE WILL RALLY BEHIND KURT WARNER. AND WE WILL PLAY GOOD FOOTBALL!
I sure hope Fox can sober up Buck and/or Aikman at halftime. Or during this lengthy injury timeout for Johnny Jolly.
Wells is running well tonight and gains 9 off LT for a first down across midfield. Then he stutter-stops and starts for 5 more. Now LSH is in for a surprising draw play, and he breaks about 5 tackles for 15 more. Look out now, the Big Dead are running! And a face mask penalty on Atari Bigby, too. Green Bay desperately needs to hold Arizona to a FG. They're at the 12 with 3:00 to go. Nick Collins stuffs Wells for -3. That's one big play. That's it, though, at least for Green Bay. Doucet takes a short pass over the middle, spins off a terrible tackle attempt, and runs through another one for a 15-yard TD. Start the bus, Packers. Your season is over. I think that was Collins with the awful tackle attempt.
Big Dead 24, Packers 7.
Doucet has more career postseason TDs than regular-season TDs.
2:16 till halftime. Can't come soon enough in Wisconsin. Good grief, Nelson loses the ball on the kick return. Green Bay's highly lucky to come up with that one. A five-yard pass to Jennings takes us to the 2:00 warning.
BRUTAL DROP by James Jones makes it 3rd-and-5. That's followed by quite a crazy play. Rodgers shrugs off a corner blitz by Adams with his free hand, then flings deep for Jermichael Finley, who has to win a wrestling match with Brian McFadden to haul in a 44-yard bomb. Somehow they decide McFadden was the party committing interference on the play, and Green Bay is in business at the Arizona 26. Finley then takes a short middle pass down to the 9 as the Packers beat another Arizona blitz. Rodgers has to spend a timeout with 0:57 in the half. A shovel pass to Brandon Jackson is a failure, followed by a quick screen to Jennings down to the 4, where it's 3rd-and-goal with 0:14 left as Green Bay calls their 2nd timeout. 3rd-and-goal, Rodgers ends up scrambling, and though he lets go, Darnell Dockett gets called for Arizona's 2nd horse-collar tackle of the game. Thought it was OK if you let go. There's only 4 seconds left, though, so they're stuck with a short FG as the half expires.
Halftime score: Big Dead 24, Packers 10.
Arizona seems in good position to hold this lead, because they've shown they can run on the Packers today, especially with Wells. They're mainly going to have to avoid killing themselves to hold on to this win, and you know how that goes sometimes. Arizona's doing a terrific job on the Packer receivers, so for about the hundredth time this weekend, I'm going to say that the team losing at halftime has to start hitting their TEs and RBs more in the passing game. Rodgers was doing that at the end of the half, though, so maybe Green Bay will be the first trailing team this weekend to give us a good second half. They'd better start tackling a lot better, though.
THIRD QUARTER
Passes to Doucet and LSH get Arizona quickly back to midfield. Hightower sweeps left for 9, and Green Bay better come up with a stop, fast. DPI on Woodson wasn't my idea there. Neither was Woodson falling down in the middle of the field and letting Fitzgerald get away for a 33-yard TD. They both tangled up and went down but Fitzgerald got up quicker, and was wide open when Warner stepped up out of good pressure and found him. Just once next year I'd like to see a Ram QB step up for a big completion like Warner just did. Well, a lot more than once, actually.
Big Dead 31, Packers 10.
Also, by the way, this game is over. Sure looks like I didn't learn my lesson at all from betting against the Ravens and Big Dead last postseason.
DROP by Jennings to start the next drive. Just like the other winning teams this weekend, the Arizona secondary is having a terrific game. Incomplete out route for Finley, split wide but well-covered by McFadden. Great pass by Rodgers on the roll to Finley over the middle for 19, though. Adams interferes with Driver to give Green Bay another first down near midfield. Arizona looks confused the next play, and Driver exploits that by taking a catch off an underneath route for 13. Jennings then takes a sideline route 34 yards inside the 5, taking advantage of DRC playing for the interception. Should have been maybe a 9-yard play. Adrian Wilson blows up a screen to Chad Kuhn for -3. For all the FFL TDs he and Spencer Havner vultured this season, it serves him right. Donald Lee loses a TD pass that hit him in the stomach. 3rd-goal, Jennings beats McFadden with an amazing one-handed grab of a back-shoulder throw. Outstanding concentration. The Packers get their pulse back for now.
Big Dead 31, Packers 17.
Lots of time left; we're still only about halfway through the 3rd.
GREEN BAY COMPLETELY SURPRISES ARIZONA WITH AN ONSIDE KICK. It's recovered by Brandon Underwood. THAT's how you play from behind in a playoff game, Belichick! Arizona had no idea it was coming.
Grant takes a flare pass for 9 on 2nd down to set up 3rd-and-1 at midfield. THEY'RE THROWING ON THIRD AND ONE, and HAVNER DROPS IT. GAH! on the call; GAH! on the execution, despite a pretty throw by Rodgers. Packers go for it on 4th down; and #71 and Kuhn part the Red Sea for Ahman Green's first down run. I'd know who 71 is if I could trust NFL.com not to crash my freaking browser. I think it's Darren Colledge? Hold on, I'll Google it. No, Google doesn't work for this question. It thinks I want stats for the 1971 Packers. Dammit!
Meanwhile, Finley burns Wilson after a short pass for a big gain inside the 10, but a holding call against Donald Driver moves it back to the 21. The Big Dead are back on their heels. Grant smashes off left tackle for 7, then gets them a first down at the 11. Rodgers rolls out from there and hits Jordy Nelson at the 2, and Nelson gets past McFadden's bad attempt to shove him out of bounds and gets in for the TD. FINALLY, we have a game this weekend.
Big Dead 31, Packers 24.
I should have looked it up on Wikipedia sooner. THAT won't crash my browser. The big block on that 4th down was by Josh Sitton.
Still 4:07 left in the 3rd. This kick is deep, and LSH brings it out to the 28. And so much for Green Bay getting a stop. Warner hits Doucet for 15, then Wells sails around right end for 42 yards, down to the Packer 15. The key block? Dan Freaking Kreider, who couldn't block to save his life in St. Louis last year. Nice block downfield by Breaston, too. He could be moping because Doucet's getting Boldin's action today instead of him, but instead, he's just making plays. Arizona then catches the Packers with too many on the field. As they have been all day, Green Bay is again desperately in need of a stop. From the 11, Arizona gets a TD thanks to refereeing that's brutal on both ends. Warner's hit by Johnny Jolly as he throws, and the referee somehow turns that into roughing the QB. Then Larry Fitzgerald gets away with BLASTING Charles Woodson to the ground at the goal line, and whirls away from that BRUTAL OPI to catch the duck Warner let loose. That should have been an Arizona penalty, not a Packer penalty. Make your tee times for the rest of January, Scott Green.
Big Dead 38, Packers 24.
Still 2:04 left in the third quarter, as this game promises to take until Tuesday. Rodgers hits Jennings up the seam for 20 at the Arizona 45. 10 more to Driver, who has only 14 receiving yards today. The third quarter ends with a crap handoff to Green for a whole yard.
End of third quarter: Big Dead 38, Packers 24.
FOURTH QUARTER
Green Bay starts the 4th quarter BY HANDING OFF AGAIN, and Brandon Jackson gets about 4. I assume this is four-down territory. Driver can't pull in a slightly-overthrown out route on 3rd down. Pack will go for it. THE BIG DEAD ARE IDIOTICALLY BLITZING ON 4TH AND 5, and James Jones burns game LVP candidate McFadden by wheeling away with a short pass and taking it 35 yards for a TD. MAN has McFadden sucked today.
We have a game again.
Big Dead 38, Packers 31.
Warner gets forever to throw to start the next drive and hits Breaston wide open over the middle for 17. But now they run twice despite Warner's 155.4 passer rating, and they face 3rd-and-6. Looked like Jolly made the big play to drag Hightower down on 2nd down for no gain. And Green Bay gets their stop as Warner's throw is tipped away by Woodson with a brilliant play. We'll get Arizona's first punt of the day, and it doesn't even appear to go 30 yards. Here come the Packers!
Green Bay at their 33, 11:53 to play. In regulation. Rodgers gets plenty of time to take a deep drop, and Finley beats Gerald Hayes badly for a 38-yard catch. Chad Clifton is injured, though. After the injury timeout, Rodgers pump-fakes the entire Arizona secondary into thinking he's throwing to Lee in the flat, and Driver gets wide open behind that for a pass up the sideline and doesn't get shoved out of bounds until he gets down to the 1. Chad "The Vulture" Kuhn churns it in from there, and we have a postseason classic on our hands. Crosby's PAT makes it 38-38. Incredible!
The turning point of this game was Mike McCarthy going for the onside kick that Bill Belichick, the supposed strategic expert, wouldn't go for in the first game. Shut up, Aikman, I started typing this before you started talking about it! Except the insulting-Belichick part. Which is totally valid, I might add.
Packers 38, Big Dead 38.
We return to Warner overthrowing Breaston very badly on first down. He does hit Fitzgerald for 6, but here's Green Bay now with a second straight chance at a 3-and-out. Woodson then blows a tackle on Hightower in the flat and lets him get away for a first down. Ouch. Arizona at their 33. Nick Barnett ankle-tackles Wells and holds him to 3. Warner lobs to Hightower up the sideline for another first down; Hightower nearly sprung it for a big gain, Arizona exploiting a zone blitz that had Cullen Jenkins covering him. Yep, that's a rematch. Matthews and B-CHILL then stuff Hightower for a 2-yard loss. 8:00 to go in regulation. Ben Patrick gets wide open in front of A.J. Hawk to cross midfield and leave Arizona 3rd-and-a-five-dollar-footlong. Oops, someone's been watching too many commercials. Wells just barely eats that up. Warner then goes deep for Breaston and throws a perfect pass over Trammond Williams' outstretched hand for about 30. They're at the Packer 20 with 5:45 left. Packers again desperately in need of a stop. They don't get it. Breaston's wide open over the middle at the goal line for Warner's 5th TD pass of the day. 4:55 to play.
Big Dead 45, Packers 38.
Williams brings the kick back to the 30. 5-yard pass to Jones costs Green Bay 30 seconds or more. Adams stops the clock by interfering with Jennings, though, on a short route. Packers at the 40. Great rush by Berry and #53 flushes Rodgers but he scrambles across midfield for 13. Rodgers makes an impressive off-balance throw up the sideline to Jennings, who makes an amazing catch at the Arizona 25. What a freaking game. McCarthy saves a delay-of-game with a sideline timeout call. Draw to Grant gets 5. Is Green Bay trying to make sure Arizona doesn't get the ball back? 2:30 left. Rodgers gets in trouble, chucks and ducks, and Wilson and McFadden nearly intercept it. McFadden comes off the field, which honestly doesn't hurt Arizona's coverage that much. Rodgers hits Finley near the 10 at the 2:00 warning.
Kind of a ripoff that today's winner is going to have a short week and play the Saints on Saturday. I realize there's the matchup sent down by God himself of Favre vs. Cowboys, but come on, either of these teams vs. New Orleans is a marquee matchup fit for a Sunday.
We return as Rodgers hits Havner at the 5, and he whirls and beats DRC, who had stumbled, for the TD. Was hardly expecting that matchup to produce a Packer TD. 1:52 left, I, like Troy, was expecting some running here. That's FAR too much time to give Warner and the Big Dead, isn't it?
Packers 45, Big Dead 45. For now.
Remember what Mike Tomlin did in the Packers-Steelers game in the regular season? Wonder if Mike McCarthy's considering another onside kick here. No, they kick a dribbler. Warner sets up shop at his 21 with 1:46 left, and Arizona takes an immediate timeout. ? I'm going to assume Arizona needs about 45 yards to set up Neil Rackers. 10 to Ben Patrick. 1:30. False start/illegal snap on Kyle Sendlein at 1:19. Warner finds Breaston deep over the middle, WIDE OPEN again, for 24 out to midfield. They stay in hurry-up and Kurt hits Fitzgerald on the sideline at the Packer 37. 30 seconds left. Short pass to LSH for 3, and a timeout with :22 to go. Rackers' long for the season is only 49? Yikes. Better get at least 10 more. They're now at the 33. Doucet gets all the way down to the 16, dragging three Packers after taking a quick slant from Warner. Woodson blew the tackle trying to strip the ball out. On comes Rackers for a chippie with 14 seconds left.
RACKERS YACKS THE KICK WELL LEFT LIKE HE'S MIKE VANDERJAGT OR SOMETHING.
HOLY FREAKING CATS.
WHAT IS IT WITH KICKERS THIS POSTSEASON?!?!?!?
SAY HELLO TO OVERTIME.
WOW, WOW, WOW!
I mean, for Christ's sake, Rackers. That's a FG any kicker worth a damn should hit in his sleep, let alone miss by 50 freaking feet! Arizona could get bumped out of the playoffs because their kicker's not as good as Shaun Freaking Suisham!
(FIRST) OVERTIME
And Green Bay has won the overtime coin toss.
Packers would be stupid to get conservative now; keep chucking it. They start at their 20. Play-action bomb just misses Jennings, who had Antrell Rolle beaten deep. Love the call. Grant turns a dumpoff into a first down, but Darren Colledge is called for holding. 2nd-20 at the 10. Rodgers dances out of trouble and dishes a blind pass to Jones for 15.
OH MY GOD IT'S OVER AND ARIZONA HAS WON IN ABOUT THE MOST FREAKISH WAY POSSIBLE.
Adams comes around RT on the blitz and Dansby blitzes up the middle, bull-rushing the center Scott Wells back into Rodgers. Rodgers tries to pull his pass attempt back down because Dansby's leaping and ruining his passing lane. Adams hits him, and when Rodgers instinctively tries to save the now-loose football with his foot....
He kicks it right to Dansby. Karlos Dansby runs the fumble back for a TD and Arizona wins 51-45.
Holy. Freaking. Cow.
Final in overtime: Big Dead 51, Packers 45. Kurt's not dead yet.
MVP: With respect to Dansby, who the heck did you think the author of "RamView" was going to pick? Of course I'm picking Kurt Warner! He threw 5 TDs and had to have thrown for about 400 yards in another postseason performance of a lifetime.
Looking ahead: And I'm picking Kurt again next week. I should have paid heed to my prediction in RamView. You don't bet against Peyton Manning and you don't bet against Kurt Warner. Sure, at first blush, Arizona doesn't look like the kind of power-rushing team that's been beating the Saints down the stretch. Tell it to Beanie Wells. If Wells holds on to the ball, look for Warner vs. Favre a couple of weeks from now.
Tragic ending for Green Bay, another team this weekend whose holes were largely created by injuries during the season. They REALLY missed Al Harris today, for instance. I'd work a lot on that offensive line in the offseason if I were in the Packers front office.
What a brilliant way to end a playoff weekend! I'll be here on and off through the week and will definitely be here 2:30-ish next Saturday for what should be another classic between Arizona and New Orleans, followed by Ravens-Colts at 7:00.
P.S. OOH, they could have called a blow to the head or a face mask on Adams that last play, couldn't they have? Yikes.
Various computer problems gave me about 2 minutes to write a pregame blurb. Arizona's going to be without Anquan Boldin, and they don't usually have a running game to speak of... how are they going to overcome all that to reverse last week's blowout at the Packers' hands? Who'll win the key matchups - Larry Fitzgerald vs. Charles Woodson? Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie (DRC from here on in) vs. Greg Jennings? Will this really be Kurt Warner's last game? Stay tuned, and cross your fingers that I can get through ONE LOUSY FREAKING GAME without my computer, browser, TiVo, satellite receiver, television or brain blowing up...
FIRST QUARTER
Roof is closed in Arizona, though it was originally reported as open. Is that really that hard a detail to get right? Buck and Aikman with the call for Fox.
Jordy Nelson gets schmeared at the 20 with the opening kickoff return. And, well, here's a start, and it looks like I'm following my 2-0 yesterday with an 0-2 today. Aaron Rodgers rolls right on the first play of the game, fires for Donald Lee just before he hits the sideline, but Karlos Dansby steps in front of the pass and tips it to DRC for an interception. Arizona ball at the 40. Stupid play by Rodgers. The Ravens and Big Dead are intent on destroying my postseason bracket again this year. I may have started 2-0 but don't rule out another 3-8.
Warner hits Jhereme Urban on 3rd-and-8 to keep Arizona's first drive alive. Green Bay left him wide open in the flat. Beanie Wells plows up the middle off the LT's block down to the 10. A false start sets them back but Warner hits Steve Breaston on a slant at the 5. A screen to LeRod Stephens-Howling gets them inside the 1. I'm not calling him The Hyphen out of respect to Nate Hobgood-Chittick. Tim Hightower dives in for the game's opening TD.
Big Dead 7, Packers 0.
Rodgers had better pull his head out in a hurry.
Nelson's down at the 20 again despite breaking half a dozen tackles. After a 10-yard run by Ryan Grant, Donald Driver gets the ball ripped out of his hands by Dansby for another turnover. Arizona ball at the Packer 20. For crying out loud. This is heading toward a blowout in the opposite direction from last week. And Dansby's making an early run at game MVP.
Early Freaking Doucet is left WIDE OPEN over the middle for a 15-yard TD catch from Warner. Cards can already start preparing for New Orleans. Just like the noon game, only one team has come to play this evening.
Big Dead 14, Packers 0.
Nelson's taken down at the 15 this time. A late hit moves them back inside the 10. Oh the humanity. Green Bay does manage a first down without a turnover for once, thanks to an Ahman Green run. Rodgers misses a bomb to Greg Jennings, who had Ralph Brown scorched, on the next 2nd down, then gets mangled by Bertran Berry on 3rd down. Green Bay can't even get the punt off without a false start. Amazing how bad they look compared to just last week.
When we return, Clay Matthews blows up a flea-flicker attempt for a sack/fumble, but Arizona recovers, and Fitzgerald gets the first on a slant the next play. Now Warner hits Ben Patrick over the middle for 22. With Boldin out, the Packers should have been smart enough to look out for the TEs today. Arizona already back in FG range. Green Bay leaves Breaston wide open when Trammond Williams leaves him to cover the RB in the flat. Another nice gain and Arizona's back inside the 10. After Nick Collins shuts down Wells outside for a loss, Warner settles for a completion to Doucet at the 5 and Arizona settles for another FG. Kurt waits a half second, Fitzgerald was breaking open in the end zone. The lead grows anyway.
Big Dead 17, Packers 0.
The next Arizona kickoff is STUPIDLY short and Green Bay brings it to the 38. Rodgers has to throw the 1st-down pass away with two blitzers coming at him up the middle. Grant only gets a couple the next play and another punt, or a turnover, appears imminent to start the second quarter.
End of first quarter: Big Dead 17, Packers 0.
SECOND QUARTER
Live by the blitz, die by the blitz, and Arizona dies here as Rodgers hits Jennings deep over the middle for 27. Chike Okeafor chases him down for a sack at the AZ 38 the next play. The Packers follow that with a useless short run to get to 3rd-and-11. Rodgers overthrows James Jones popping open over the deep middle. They give Mason Crosby a shot at a 54-yard FG, but he barely misses to the right. Not going to be a good night in Wisconsin.
Arizona gets to start at their 44 after the missed FG. Heh, the Fox Robot just appeared to stick his arm up an Arizona cheerleader's skirt. Yes, I am 12 years old. Ryan Pickett appears to steal the ball from Hightower on a screen but the refs called Hightower down. Making that even worse is an end-around to Breaston for 27. Fitzgerald blocked one DB and Breaston juked another. Perhaps mistakenly thinking he was still playing on my fantasy team, though, Fitzgerald fumbles the next play. Nice play by Woodson to strip it out, and Matthews returns it nearly to midfield.
Hey, look at that great teammate Kurt Warner cussing out Fitzgerald all the way off the field for a play that was really more a great defensive play than anything awful or stupid or lazy that Fitzgerald did.
Grant bounds away for 10 after the turnover. They go to him again on a pitch right and Gerald Hayes draws a penalty for a not-very-flagrant example of a horse-collar tackle. Green Bay at the Arizona 27. Grant makes a great cutback left with both teams moving hard to the right for 20 more. He obviously knows he's not playing for my fantasy team today. Green gets stuffed, and Berry gets his second sack of the day, to make it 3rd-and-goal from the 12. DPI on Michael Adams defending Driver puts the Packers at the 1. Good, and obvious, call. I don't know what the f*ck the Arizona crowd is booing about. Perhaps they have never heard that the NFL has a penalty for pass interference. (Especially offensive PI, given the garbage Fitzgerald gets away with sometimes.) Rodgers eventually sneaks across for Green Bay's first score.
Big Dead 17, Packers 7.
Aikman eventually figures out that Warner was yelling at Doucet earlier, not Fitzgerald. This has been an awful, mistake-filled broadcast by him and Buck so far. I mean, they didn't even know the dome was closed at the start of the game! They're so bad I suspect one or both of them is drunk right now.
Just under 7 minutes till halftime - another stop is critical for the Packers right now. LSH stopped at the 20 on the kick return.
OK, that's the silliest product feature I have heard of in some time. Did I hear that right?
TurboTax with GPS?
Freaking Fox. They say the playoff games are 2:30 Saturday and 11:00 Sunday. Is that kickoff? The pregame show? Probably the latter, but I'm going to have to tune in to make sure because they're intentionally unclear about it. Jackasses.
Hey, check out Brandon Chillar with the cheap late hit on Warner!
Hey, check out drunken Joe Buck totally butchering Dick Vermeil's famous quote after Trent Green got hurt in August 1999. Joe thinks Dick said "we're going to play Kurt Warner, and we're going to go on?" I appreciate the reminiscing, but could we get within 20% of the actual quote?
WE WILL RALLY BEHIND KURT WARNER. AND WE WILL PLAY GOOD FOOTBALL!
I sure hope Fox can sober up Buck and/or Aikman at halftime. Or during this lengthy injury timeout for Johnny Jolly.
Wells is running well tonight and gains 9 off LT for a first down across midfield. Then he stutter-stops and starts for 5 more. Now LSH is in for a surprising draw play, and he breaks about 5 tackles for 15 more. Look out now, the Big Dead are running! And a face mask penalty on Atari Bigby, too. Green Bay desperately needs to hold Arizona to a FG. They're at the 12 with 3:00 to go. Nick Collins stuffs Wells for -3. That's one big play. That's it, though, at least for Green Bay. Doucet takes a short pass over the middle, spins off a terrible tackle attempt, and runs through another one for a 15-yard TD. Start the bus, Packers. Your season is over. I think that was Collins with the awful tackle attempt.
Big Dead 24, Packers 7.
Doucet has more career postseason TDs than regular-season TDs.
2:16 till halftime. Can't come soon enough in Wisconsin. Good grief, Nelson loses the ball on the kick return. Green Bay's highly lucky to come up with that one. A five-yard pass to Jennings takes us to the 2:00 warning.
BRUTAL DROP by James Jones makes it 3rd-and-5. That's followed by quite a crazy play. Rodgers shrugs off a corner blitz by Adams with his free hand, then flings deep for Jermichael Finley, who has to win a wrestling match with Brian McFadden to haul in a 44-yard bomb. Somehow they decide McFadden was the party committing interference on the play, and Green Bay is in business at the Arizona 26. Finley then takes a short middle pass down to the 9 as the Packers beat another Arizona blitz. Rodgers has to spend a timeout with 0:57 in the half. A shovel pass to Brandon Jackson is a failure, followed by a quick screen to Jennings down to the 4, where it's 3rd-and-goal with 0:14 left as Green Bay calls their 2nd timeout. 3rd-and-goal, Rodgers ends up scrambling, and though he lets go, Darnell Dockett gets called for Arizona's 2nd horse-collar tackle of the game. Thought it was OK if you let go. There's only 4 seconds left, though, so they're stuck with a short FG as the half expires.
Halftime score: Big Dead 24, Packers 10.
Arizona seems in good position to hold this lead, because they've shown they can run on the Packers today, especially with Wells. They're mainly going to have to avoid killing themselves to hold on to this win, and you know how that goes sometimes. Arizona's doing a terrific job on the Packer receivers, so for about the hundredth time this weekend, I'm going to say that the team losing at halftime has to start hitting their TEs and RBs more in the passing game. Rodgers was doing that at the end of the half, though, so maybe Green Bay will be the first trailing team this weekend to give us a good second half. They'd better start tackling a lot better, though.
THIRD QUARTER
Passes to Doucet and LSH get Arizona quickly back to midfield. Hightower sweeps left for 9, and Green Bay better come up with a stop, fast. DPI on Woodson wasn't my idea there. Neither was Woodson falling down in the middle of the field and letting Fitzgerald get away for a 33-yard TD. They both tangled up and went down but Fitzgerald got up quicker, and was wide open when Warner stepped up out of good pressure and found him. Just once next year I'd like to see a Ram QB step up for a big completion like Warner just did. Well, a lot more than once, actually.
Big Dead 31, Packers 10.
Also, by the way, this game is over. Sure looks like I didn't learn my lesson at all from betting against the Ravens and Big Dead last postseason.
DROP by Jennings to start the next drive. Just like the other winning teams this weekend, the Arizona secondary is having a terrific game. Incomplete out route for Finley, split wide but well-covered by McFadden. Great pass by Rodgers on the roll to Finley over the middle for 19, though. Adams interferes with Driver to give Green Bay another first down near midfield. Arizona looks confused the next play, and Driver exploits that by taking a catch off an underneath route for 13. Jennings then takes a sideline route 34 yards inside the 5, taking advantage of DRC playing for the interception. Should have been maybe a 9-yard play. Adrian Wilson blows up a screen to Chad Kuhn for -3. For all the FFL TDs he and Spencer Havner vultured this season, it serves him right. Donald Lee loses a TD pass that hit him in the stomach. 3rd-goal, Jennings beats McFadden with an amazing one-handed grab of a back-shoulder throw. Outstanding concentration. The Packers get their pulse back for now.
Big Dead 31, Packers 17.
Lots of time left; we're still only about halfway through the 3rd.
GREEN BAY COMPLETELY SURPRISES ARIZONA WITH AN ONSIDE KICK. It's recovered by Brandon Underwood. THAT's how you play from behind in a playoff game, Belichick! Arizona had no idea it was coming.
Grant takes a flare pass for 9 on 2nd down to set up 3rd-and-1 at midfield. THEY'RE THROWING ON THIRD AND ONE, and HAVNER DROPS IT. GAH! on the call; GAH! on the execution, despite a pretty throw by Rodgers. Packers go for it on 4th down; and #71 and Kuhn part the Red Sea for Ahman Green's first down run. I'd know who 71 is if I could trust NFL.com not to crash my freaking browser. I think it's Darren Colledge? Hold on, I'll Google it. No, Google doesn't work for this question. It thinks I want stats for the 1971 Packers. Dammit!
Meanwhile, Finley burns Wilson after a short pass for a big gain inside the 10, but a holding call against Donald Driver moves it back to the 21. The Big Dead are back on their heels. Grant smashes off left tackle for 7, then gets them a first down at the 11. Rodgers rolls out from there and hits Jordy Nelson at the 2, and Nelson gets past McFadden's bad attempt to shove him out of bounds and gets in for the TD. FINALLY, we have a game this weekend.
Big Dead 31, Packers 24.
I should have looked it up on Wikipedia sooner. THAT won't crash my browser. The big block on that 4th down was by Josh Sitton.
Still 4:07 left in the 3rd. This kick is deep, and LSH brings it out to the 28. And so much for Green Bay getting a stop. Warner hits Doucet for 15, then Wells sails around right end for 42 yards, down to the Packer 15. The key block? Dan Freaking Kreider, who couldn't block to save his life in St. Louis last year. Nice block downfield by Breaston, too. He could be moping because Doucet's getting Boldin's action today instead of him, but instead, he's just making plays. Arizona then catches the Packers with too many on the field. As they have been all day, Green Bay is again desperately in need of a stop. From the 11, Arizona gets a TD thanks to refereeing that's brutal on both ends. Warner's hit by Johnny Jolly as he throws, and the referee somehow turns that into roughing the QB. Then Larry Fitzgerald gets away with BLASTING Charles Woodson to the ground at the goal line, and whirls away from that BRUTAL OPI to catch the duck Warner let loose. That should have been an Arizona penalty, not a Packer penalty. Make your tee times for the rest of January, Scott Green.
Big Dead 38, Packers 24.
Still 2:04 left in the third quarter, as this game promises to take until Tuesday. Rodgers hits Jennings up the seam for 20 at the Arizona 45. 10 more to Driver, who has only 14 receiving yards today. The third quarter ends with a crap handoff to Green for a whole yard.
End of third quarter: Big Dead 38, Packers 24.
FOURTH QUARTER
Green Bay starts the 4th quarter BY HANDING OFF AGAIN, and Brandon Jackson gets about 4. I assume this is four-down territory. Driver can't pull in a slightly-overthrown out route on 3rd down. Pack will go for it. THE BIG DEAD ARE IDIOTICALLY BLITZING ON 4TH AND 5, and James Jones burns game LVP candidate McFadden by wheeling away with a short pass and taking it 35 yards for a TD. MAN has McFadden sucked today.
We have a game again.
Big Dead 38, Packers 31.
Warner gets forever to throw to start the next drive and hits Breaston wide open over the middle for 17. But now they run twice despite Warner's 155.4 passer rating, and they face 3rd-and-6. Looked like Jolly made the big play to drag Hightower down on 2nd down for no gain. And Green Bay gets their stop as Warner's throw is tipped away by Woodson with a brilliant play. We'll get Arizona's first punt of the day, and it doesn't even appear to go 30 yards. Here come the Packers!
Green Bay at their 33, 11:53 to play. In regulation. Rodgers gets plenty of time to take a deep drop, and Finley beats Gerald Hayes badly for a 38-yard catch. Chad Clifton is injured, though. After the injury timeout, Rodgers pump-fakes the entire Arizona secondary into thinking he's throwing to Lee in the flat, and Driver gets wide open behind that for a pass up the sideline and doesn't get shoved out of bounds until he gets down to the 1. Chad "The Vulture" Kuhn churns it in from there, and we have a postseason classic on our hands. Crosby's PAT makes it 38-38. Incredible!
The turning point of this game was Mike McCarthy going for the onside kick that Bill Belichick, the supposed strategic expert, wouldn't go for in the first game. Shut up, Aikman, I started typing this before you started talking about it! Except the insulting-Belichick part. Which is totally valid, I might add.
Packers 38, Big Dead 38.
We return to Warner overthrowing Breaston very badly on first down. He does hit Fitzgerald for 6, but here's Green Bay now with a second straight chance at a 3-and-out. Woodson then blows a tackle on Hightower in the flat and lets him get away for a first down. Ouch. Arizona at their 33. Nick Barnett ankle-tackles Wells and holds him to 3. Warner lobs to Hightower up the sideline for another first down; Hightower nearly sprung it for a big gain, Arizona exploiting a zone blitz that had Cullen Jenkins covering him. Yep, that's a rematch. Matthews and B-CHILL then stuff Hightower for a 2-yard loss. 8:00 to go in regulation. Ben Patrick gets wide open in front of A.J. Hawk to cross midfield and leave Arizona 3rd-and-a-five-dollar-footlong. Oops, someone's been watching too many commercials. Wells just barely eats that up. Warner then goes deep for Breaston and throws a perfect pass over Trammond Williams' outstretched hand for about 30. They're at the Packer 20 with 5:45 left. Packers again desperately in need of a stop. They don't get it. Breaston's wide open over the middle at the goal line for Warner's 5th TD pass of the day. 4:55 to play.
Big Dead 45, Packers 38.
Williams brings the kick back to the 30. 5-yard pass to Jones costs Green Bay 30 seconds or more. Adams stops the clock by interfering with Jennings, though, on a short route. Packers at the 40. Great rush by Berry and #53 flushes Rodgers but he scrambles across midfield for 13. Rodgers makes an impressive off-balance throw up the sideline to Jennings, who makes an amazing catch at the Arizona 25. What a freaking game. McCarthy saves a delay-of-game with a sideline timeout call. Draw to Grant gets 5. Is Green Bay trying to make sure Arizona doesn't get the ball back? 2:30 left. Rodgers gets in trouble, chucks and ducks, and Wilson and McFadden nearly intercept it. McFadden comes off the field, which honestly doesn't hurt Arizona's coverage that much. Rodgers hits Finley near the 10 at the 2:00 warning.
Kind of a ripoff that today's winner is going to have a short week and play the Saints on Saturday. I realize there's the matchup sent down by God himself of Favre vs. Cowboys, but come on, either of these teams vs. New Orleans is a marquee matchup fit for a Sunday.
We return as Rodgers hits Havner at the 5, and he whirls and beats DRC, who had stumbled, for the TD. Was hardly expecting that matchup to produce a Packer TD. 1:52 left, I, like Troy, was expecting some running here. That's FAR too much time to give Warner and the Big Dead, isn't it?
Packers 45, Big Dead 45. For now.
Remember what Mike Tomlin did in the Packers-Steelers game in the regular season? Wonder if Mike McCarthy's considering another onside kick here. No, they kick a dribbler. Warner sets up shop at his 21 with 1:46 left, and Arizona takes an immediate timeout. ? I'm going to assume Arizona needs about 45 yards to set up Neil Rackers. 10 to Ben Patrick. 1:30. False start/illegal snap on Kyle Sendlein at 1:19. Warner finds Breaston deep over the middle, WIDE OPEN again, for 24 out to midfield. They stay in hurry-up and Kurt hits Fitzgerald on the sideline at the Packer 37. 30 seconds left. Short pass to LSH for 3, and a timeout with :22 to go. Rackers' long for the season is only 49? Yikes. Better get at least 10 more. They're now at the 33. Doucet gets all the way down to the 16, dragging three Packers after taking a quick slant from Warner. Woodson blew the tackle trying to strip the ball out. On comes Rackers for a chippie with 14 seconds left.
RACKERS YACKS THE KICK WELL LEFT LIKE HE'S MIKE VANDERJAGT OR SOMETHING.
HOLY FREAKING CATS.
WHAT IS IT WITH KICKERS THIS POSTSEASON?!?!?!?
SAY HELLO TO OVERTIME.
WOW, WOW, WOW!
I mean, for Christ's sake, Rackers. That's a FG any kicker worth a damn should hit in his sleep, let alone miss by 50 freaking feet! Arizona could get bumped out of the playoffs because their kicker's not as good as Shaun Freaking Suisham!
(FIRST) OVERTIME
And Green Bay has won the overtime coin toss.
Packers would be stupid to get conservative now; keep chucking it. They start at their 20. Play-action bomb just misses Jennings, who had Antrell Rolle beaten deep. Love the call. Grant turns a dumpoff into a first down, but Darren Colledge is called for holding. 2nd-20 at the 10. Rodgers dances out of trouble and dishes a blind pass to Jones for 15.
OH MY GOD IT'S OVER AND ARIZONA HAS WON IN ABOUT THE MOST FREAKISH WAY POSSIBLE.
Adams comes around RT on the blitz and Dansby blitzes up the middle, bull-rushing the center Scott Wells back into Rodgers. Rodgers tries to pull his pass attempt back down because Dansby's leaping and ruining his passing lane. Adams hits him, and when Rodgers instinctively tries to save the now-loose football with his foot....
He kicks it right to Dansby. Karlos Dansby runs the fumble back for a TD and Arizona wins 51-45.
Holy. Freaking. Cow.
Final in overtime: Big Dead 51, Packers 45. Kurt's not dead yet.
MVP: With respect to Dansby, who the heck did you think the author of "RamView" was going to pick? Of course I'm picking Kurt Warner! He threw 5 TDs and had to have thrown for about 400 yards in another postseason performance of a lifetime.
Looking ahead: And I'm picking Kurt again next week. I should have paid heed to my prediction in RamView. You don't bet against Peyton Manning and you don't bet against Kurt Warner. Sure, at first blush, Arizona doesn't look like the kind of power-rushing team that's been beating the Saints down the stretch. Tell it to Beanie Wells. If Wells holds on to the ball, look for Warner vs. Favre a couple of weeks from now.
Tragic ending for Green Bay, another team this weekend whose holes were largely created by injuries during the season. They REALLY missed Al Harris today, for instance. I'd work a lot on that offensive line in the offseason if I were in the Packers front office.
What a brilliant way to end a playoff weekend! I'll be here on and off through the week and will definitely be here 2:30-ish next Saturday for what should be another classic between Arizona and New Orleans, followed by Ravens-Colts at 7:00.
P.S. OOH, they could have called a blow to the head or a face mask on Adams that last play, couldn't they have? Yikes.
Saturday, January 9, 2010
AFC Wild Card Playoff: Ravens 33, Patriots 14
PREGAME
Yesterday's themes were defenses winning by taking away the opponent's top receiver, successful blitzing and offenses controlling the game on the ground. All that sure points at Baltimore winning this game, doesn't it? Injury has already taken out Wes Welker. The Raven running game sure looks powerful with Ray Rice and Willis McGahee. Is the Patriots' perfect season at home going to be enough?
FIRST QUARTER
Jim Nantz and Phil Simms on the call for CBS. Hey, wasn't Nantz caught in an adulterous relationship not that long ago? And CBS is happy to have him around as an NFL and PGA announcer, and Sony is happy to have him shooting down footballs with a bow and arrow in a new commercial, while sponsors are dropping Tiger Woods left and right for the same thing? (Granted, 14X as much)
RUH-ROH, NEW ENGLAND. Ray Rice explodes through a hole between center and left guard, cuts away from Brandon Merriweather and is GONE! for an 83-yard TD ON THE FIRST PLAY OF THE GAME.
Everybody go back and read my preview at the top again. Even though I picked the Patriots.
Ravens 7, Patriots 0.
Boy, right guard Marshall Yanda knocked Vince Wilfork off course about 10 feet on that TD run. Tom Brady throws a second-down quick screen to Julian Edelman that loses 3. That's a Welker route, you see. On 3rd-and-11, Terrell Suggs beats Matt Light clean and gets Brady for the sack, strip and fumble recovery. Ravens ball again! RUH-ROH, NEW ENGLAND!
Intent on dominating this game, Rice runs through 2 tackles on 3rd-and-4 to get Baltimore down to the 5-yard line. He bounces the next run outside and down to the 1. The Ravens are about to go up by two TDs. A handoff to LeRon McClain from fullback does the trick the first time. Wow.
Ravens 14, Patriots 0.
WOW.
It's not even 12:15 yet and Bill Simmons needs a change of underwear. C'mon Pats, fumble the kickoff. I know you can do it. THEY ALMOST DO! The kickoff is popped up high, the deep man loses it in the sun, and New England is damn lucky Jackie Slater's son Matt has the wherewithal to cover the kick up.
Wow, what kind of wild party did they have in New England last night? On the readiness-for-prime-time scale, the Patriots' rating right now is Admiral Stockdale. Now here's Ray Lewis dropping Brady for a huge sack! New England is on their way to laying one of the biggest eggs in playoff history. Light gets beaten by Suggs again as a cigar-store-Indian Brady tries to force a middle pass for Sam Aiken that Ed Reed nearly picks off.
Chris Carr returns the punt 35 yards to the New England 40 to a chorus of boos at Gillette Stadium. I know what I said about Cincinnati's fans yesterday. But the Patriots have come out inexcusably flat. That's worthy of all the abuse a fan base wants to heap on a team, three Lombardis or no.
So will Baltimore's TD drive take one play or two? Tully Banta-Cain stuffs Rice on first down, so I guess two. Nevermind, Joe Flacco's play-action pass is awful and nearly picked off by Shawn Springs. Rice drops the third-down pass - both hands on the ball, young man - and New England gets a crucial three-and-out.
Huh. So Stan Kroenke can't be majority owner of the Rams because he owns teams in other sports in another city, but it's OK for today's referee Gene Steratore to moonlight as a Big East basketball referee. That is cool for Steratore, but still, huh.
Pats start the next drive with a 6-yard completion to Kevin Faulk, but look at the push Baltimore's D-line is putting on them with just a 3-man rush. Their o-line is completely outclassed today. Faulk just ran for their first 1st down, but unless their D can generate a Flacco meltdown, this game is over, even with 52 minutes still to play. Brady nearly gets sacked again, and THEN THROWS AN INTERCEPTION. It's an attempted screen pass, Jarrett Johnson puts huge pressure on Brady, and he throws it right to Chris Carr. Was anybody expecting any what-the-hell-are-you-doing plays from Tom Freaking Brady today? Because that was one.
Willis McGahee jukes the crap out of Merriweather for 9 on 2nd-and-10 and plunges for the first down the next play at the Patriot 15. There aren't enough goat horns in the world to give to the Patriots today. The Pats blitz a screen pass, but Flacco, UNLIKE BRADY, makes a composed play and hits McGahee in the flat down to the 2. Holy freaking cats. And dogs. Living together! Ray Rice pounds in on two tries and the rout is on. Unbelievable!
Ravens 21, Patriots 0.
There's still five minutes left in the first quarter! Baltimore is on a pace to score 126 points! Two plays after the kickoff, ANOTHER INTERCEPTION! Domonique Foxworth breaks up a pass to Aiken that Brady never should have thrown, Ed Reed collects the ricochet, laterals to Dawan Landry, and BALTIMORE IS INSIDE THE NEW ENGLAND 10 AGAIN!!! Holy freaking cow. Jumping over the moon.
Banta-Cain, about the only Patriot playing today, blows a tackle on 2nd down for a big loss but McGahee still winds up losing a couple on the play after a long scramble. Flacco's third-and-goal pass is terrible, so the FG unit gets in on the festivities.
Ravens 24, Patriots 0.
Baltimore creams Butler the Patriot kick returner inside the 20. This game is just one of the great motivational mismatches of all time. DROPPED pass by Ben Watson. I'd still like to see the Rams go after him in the offseason. Faulk gets New England a much-needed big play, taking a quick slant for 18. Brady's getting good protection so far this drive but nearly gets picked off AGAIN by FRANK WALKER, as bad a DB as there is in this league. Then for the second straight day, it's the defense making the delay-of-game call before the referees notice it. 2nd-and-15 at the Patriot 33. Quick screen to Faulk LOSES FIVE with Carr all over it.
What an amazing first quarter for Baltimore and a quarter from hell for the sleepwalking Patriots.
End of first quarter: Ravens 24, Patriots 0.
SECOND QUARTER
Again, Pats fans should give the team all the booing they can muster. They paid 100 bucks or more to watch Brady play like this, and he's the one who still gets to go home and have sex with a supermodel.
Randy Who?, by the way. I haven't even seen Moss on camera yet today. Did he start? Is he playing?
A WE-GIVE-UP HANDOFF ON THIRD AND 20? Who's the coaching genius that thought that was going to work against Baltimore?
But now that the teams have switched ends, the Ravens lose the kick in the sun, it bounces off Tom Zbikowski, and the Patriots are given credit for fielding the loose ball in bounds WHEN THEY ACTUALLY DIDN'T. Yet former special teams coach John Harbaugh on the Ravens sideline apparently doesn't even consider a challenge. Huh. A couple of Faulk runs get the Patriots near the Raven 5. Fred Taylor gets them first-and-goal inside the five. But Ngata stuffs a run and Brady throws the ball a mile out of bounds when he could have run it in. Edelman saves the whole mess with a fairly impressive catch inside the goal line for New England's first score. Good job by Brady to stay on the move and keep that play alive.
Ravens 24, Patriots 7.
Can I ask why the sun is suddenly a factor this week when New England would seem to play a lot of games at noon? Yet everybody tracking a kick today on the one side of the field looks like Manny Ramirez trying to corral a tricky popup.
No problem for Baltimore on this kickoff return, though, and you can add a facemask penalty. Ravens continue to have nothing but outstanding field position today and start this drive at their 45 or so.
Bill Simmons is probably on his third underwear change by now, or should I say need for one when he's probably decided to just sit in it the rest of the day.
Rice pounds three times for 10 yards, then Cam "Camtastic" Cameron idiotically decides to put the game in Flacco's hands. Flacco forces a bad pass for Todd Heap that Leigh Bodden breaks up and Banta-Cain intercepts. Banta-Cain's all that's keeping the Pats alive today. Stupid play by Flacco, who may yet have a meltdown left in him. His play today's been almost as crappy as Brady's.
New England really needed to make something out of that turnover but can't after late pressure from Trevor Pryce on a stunt forces Brady to rush his 3rd-down throw for Faulk and it's incomplete.
7:38 till halftime. I fall five minutes behind on TiVo while NFL.com KILLS my computer. Give Baltimore bad/normal field position, they don't get anywhere. Classless Junior Seau blows up a screen to force 3rd-and-long, and the Ravens punt after a surrender handoff to Rice.
Fine punt return by Edelman, 28 yards past the Raven 45, whirling through and bouncing off tacklers. Brady looked for Moss on 2nd-and-5 but seemed to expect Moss to run a shorter comeback route. On 3rd down, middle pressure by Pryce again forces Brady to throw at Moss' feet incomplete, but Foxworth keeps New England alive by being offside. Belichick ingeniously follows that with two lame-ass runs, Ray Lewis swallowing Faulk up on the 2nd one. Hey, Moss is heard from on third down! Committing offensive pass interference running over Foxworth downfield. Hilarious. 3rd-and-18. Short pass to Faulk only gets them to the 36. I'm eagerly awaiting Tuesday Morning Quarterback's criticism of Belichick for deciding to PUNT here. You're down 17! There's no tomorrow! Ravens start at their 4 with just over 2:00 till halftime.
2:00 warning.
New England uses timeouts to try to get the ball back but McClain and McGahee get more than ten yards in three carries. Everyone seems content to run the clock out from here. No, Belichick uses another one after having let close to a minute run off the clock. HUH? McGahee briefly helps the Patriots out by idiotically going out of bounds on 2nd down but converts another 3rd-and-2 and we are going to run out the half this time.
Halftime score: Ravens 24, Patriots 7.
The Ravens have to be careful in the 2nd half to keep pounding New England on the ground and not put the game too much into Flacco's hands. New England's o-line can't cope with Baltimore's pressure and they don't have the running game to make them pay for it. They're less out of this game than I would have expected about an hour ago. But they'd better get some kind of a quick passing game going and somebody better light a fire under Randy Moss' ass. The first quick screen they run to Trevor Pryce's side will be good for a big play should they decide to do it. They better do something.
THIRD QUARTER
Slater's kick return is out close to the 40. Three-and-out for New England, though, as Brady throws beyond Edelman's reach on the out route on 3rd-and-long. Brady looks like Marc Bulger today.
If Marc was drunk. Ravens ball.
STUPID call by Cameron here as Demetrius Williams drops a bomb on 3rd-and-2. Work the clock, dummy. Fine throw by Flacco, but the call should have been a run. Keep New England's chances to a minimum.
Before that long throw, Brady's passer rating was 32; Flacco's was 2.8. Joe's thrown for 9 yards.
Patriots from their 14 after the punt. Hey, THERE's a quick throw. Edelman for 11. And now MOSS IS FINALLY HEARD FROM for 14 more. Two plays later, though, Brady tries to force a ball to Watson in coverage, Watson gets JACKED, and the ball pops up and into Landry's hands. He returns the INT to Indianapolis. Actually the Patriot 20, but you get my point. That INT's Brady's fault. Shouldn't have been thrown.
Baltimore doesn't do much with the ball after the turnover, but they do add a FG and they do run the clock down to about 6:00 left in the 3rd.
Ravens 27, Patriots 7.
Darius Butler tries to give New England a spark with a kick return out to midfield. Faulk atones for a dropped pass with an 8-yard run. BRADY TO MOSS at the Raven 40 for a first down. Sammy Morris gets them to the 25 with a catch and a run. Dwan Edwards punks Stephen Neal to sack Brady but an illegal contact penalty puts the Pats on the Raven 15 instead. 5 more to Moss as Brady is indeed finally getting the ball out quickly. Faulk draws down to the 3 for first-and-goal. Brady finds Edelman from a yard out for their 2nd TD connection of the day with about 17 minutes left to play.
Ravens 27, Patriots 14.
Zbikowski returns a short line-drive kick almost out to midfield. Both teams' special teams have been cluster, um, bombs, today. Flacco ends the 3rd quarter hitting Williams on a slant on 3rd-and-1. WTF is it with Cameron throwing on these 3rd-and-shorts?
End of third quarter: Ravens 27, Patriots 14.
FOURTH QUARTER
Congratulations to CBS on the download-themed transition back to the game.
I'd never thought a network could come up with anything more retarded than the Fox robots, but CBS has topped it.
Cameron STILL mysteriously relying on Flacco's arm down the stretch. Flacco overthrows Williams before hitting Mark Clayton at the Pats 20 for 17 yards, DOUBLING his passing yards for the day.
Congratulations to Vince Wilfork on his upcoming childbirth. Should he really be playing football while pregnant?
Tyrone McKenzie gets pressure on Flacco on 3rd down, but Joe scrambles down to the 7 and appears to extend the ball across the 6 for the first down. The refs say no, but Harbaugh challenges. As Phil Simms says, "THE PLAY'S SO BIG, YOU GOT TO CHALLENGE IT!" Well, if Baltimore settles for the figgie, they're still up three scores, not, Phil? They can certainly put the game away with a TD, though.
Harbaugh wins the challenge on the spot, as he should have; first and goal, Baltimore, from the 6. Refs probably should have got that play right on the live call, though. 11:50 left.
Three carries for McGahee and he's in, following Yanda's block for the TD. Not stupidly, the Ravens go for two to try to make the lead 21. Adalius Thomas intentionally goes offsides because the Patriots have about eight men on the field. McGahee tries to plunge in from the 1 but they say he didn't cross the plane. Odds of this mattering?
Ravens 33, Patriots 14.
Harbaugh challenges the call on the two-pointer, because this game's apparently not taking long enough to GET OVER WITH ALREADY. Though it's hard to believe McGahee didn't get the ball across the plane, the play is not overturned. Steratore's blowing his chance at a conference championship game down the stretch here.
Still Ravens 33, Patriots 14.
Continuing my legendary technological track record on playoff weekends, FUCKING WORTHLESS NFL.COM CRASHED MY GOD DAMN BROWSER WITH MOST OF THE FOURTH QUARTER LEFT TO PLAY AND I LOST A BUNCH OF WORK. Suffice it to say New England did little worth mentioning down the stretch, other than Gostkowski missing a FG to make sure Bill Simmons ran crying into his bathroom and slammed the door shut. Nobody bother him till Tuesday.
MY GOD NFL.COM SUCKS.
Final: Ravens 33, Patriots 14.
MVP: Since my fucking browser hanging for 15 minutes gives me little time to think, I'll give the lazy man's game ball to Ray Rice. The turning point of this game may have been his TD run on its first play. He topped 100 yards and scored another TD. I HAVE TO REMEMBER ALL THESE STATS MYSELF BECAUSE NFL.COM IS SUCH A PIECE OF CRAP. I would have preferred to give a defensive MVP, seeing as they held Brady to 135 yards and 3 INTs, and Moss to 4 useless catches for 29 useless yards. Or I could have given co-LVPs to Brady, Moss and Belichick, the latter for fielding a team for a playoff game that came out flatter than the roadkill they played like. But Rice is a worthy selection, if somewhat a lazy one.
Looking ahead: Quickly again, thanks to NFL.com SUCKING almost as badly as the Patriots today. And thanks to the worthless Pats, I have to project BOTH AFC games next weekend now. Despite Baltimore's terrific performance today, I think the Colts mop the floor with the Ravens next week. Flacco's going to have to make a play, but for some reason, he looked like a deer in the headlights today. Hell, he looked like Bambi in the headlights of an oncoming train. I like Indy a lot. I respect the Jets' performance Saturday night, too, but I really don't like their chances in San Diego. That Charger team is just too hot. The Charger D is very susceptible to the Jets' power running game, and I think San Diego's a little disappointed not to be playing New England, so there's a looking-past-the-opponent factor here, too. The key question will be how Philip Rivers adjusts to Darrelle Revis taking Vincent Jackson away. Well, there's Antonio Gates, and I don't think Jackson really stood out for the Chargers down the stretch anyway. So I like the home teams in the AFC next weekend.
New England's got to get tougher in the offseason. Bigger, more physical. They got whipped today the way they've always said they beat the Rams in Super Bowl XXXVI. They have amassed a lot of high draft picks the next two drafts and should have little problem attracting top free-agent talent. They need a workhorse RB, better WR depth and some maulers on both lines. It'll be an interesting offseason in chowder land. They have more pieces to add and a thinner base than you'd think.
Say it ain't so... what could be the last game of Kurt Warner's career is up in a few minutes.
Yesterday's themes were defenses winning by taking away the opponent's top receiver, successful blitzing and offenses controlling the game on the ground. All that sure points at Baltimore winning this game, doesn't it? Injury has already taken out Wes Welker. The Raven running game sure looks powerful with Ray Rice and Willis McGahee. Is the Patriots' perfect season at home going to be enough?
FIRST QUARTER
Jim Nantz and Phil Simms on the call for CBS. Hey, wasn't Nantz caught in an adulterous relationship not that long ago? And CBS is happy to have him around as an NFL and PGA announcer, and Sony is happy to have him shooting down footballs with a bow and arrow in a new commercial, while sponsors are dropping Tiger Woods left and right for the same thing? (Granted, 14X as much)
RUH-ROH, NEW ENGLAND. Ray Rice explodes through a hole between center and left guard, cuts away from Brandon Merriweather and is GONE! for an 83-yard TD ON THE FIRST PLAY OF THE GAME.
Everybody go back and read my preview at the top again. Even though I picked the Patriots.
Ravens 7, Patriots 0.
Boy, right guard Marshall Yanda knocked Vince Wilfork off course about 10 feet on that TD run. Tom Brady throws a second-down quick screen to Julian Edelman that loses 3. That's a Welker route, you see. On 3rd-and-11, Terrell Suggs beats Matt Light clean and gets Brady for the sack, strip and fumble recovery. Ravens ball again! RUH-ROH, NEW ENGLAND!
Intent on dominating this game, Rice runs through 2 tackles on 3rd-and-4 to get Baltimore down to the 5-yard line. He bounces the next run outside and down to the 1. The Ravens are about to go up by two TDs. A handoff to LeRon McClain from fullback does the trick the first time. Wow.
Ravens 14, Patriots 0.
WOW.
It's not even 12:15 yet and Bill Simmons needs a change of underwear. C'mon Pats, fumble the kickoff. I know you can do it. THEY ALMOST DO! The kickoff is popped up high, the deep man loses it in the sun, and New England is damn lucky Jackie Slater's son Matt has the wherewithal to cover the kick up.
Wow, what kind of wild party did they have in New England last night? On the readiness-for-prime-time scale, the Patriots' rating right now is Admiral Stockdale. Now here's Ray Lewis dropping Brady for a huge sack! New England is on their way to laying one of the biggest eggs in playoff history. Light gets beaten by Suggs again as a cigar-store-Indian Brady tries to force a middle pass for Sam Aiken that Ed Reed nearly picks off.
Chris Carr returns the punt 35 yards to the New England 40 to a chorus of boos at Gillette Stadium. I know what I said about Cincinnati's fans yesterday. But the Patriots have come out inexcusably flat. That's worthy of all the abuse a fan base wants to heap on a team, three Lombardis or no.
So will Baltimore's TD drive take one play or two? Tully Banta-Cain stuffs Rice on first down, so I guess two. Nevermind, Joe Flacco's play-action pass is awful and nearly picked off by Shawn Springs. Rice drops the third-down pass - both hands on the ball, young man - and New England gets a crucial three-and-out.
Huh. So Stan Kroenke can't be majority owner of the Rams because he owns teams in other sports in another city, but it's OK for today's referee Gene Steratore to moonlight as a Big East basketball referee. That is cool for Steratore, but still, huh.
Pats start the next drive with a 6-yard completion to Kevin Faulk, but look at the push Baltimore's D-line is putting on them with just a 3-man rush. Their o-line is completely outclassed today. Faulk just ran for their first 1st down, but unless their D can generate a Flacco meltdown, this game is over, even with 52 minutes still to play. Brady nearly gets sacked again, and THEN THROWS AN INTERCEPTION. It's an attempted screen pass, Jarrett Johnson puts huge pressure on Brady, and he throws it right to Chris Carr. Was anybody expecting any what-the-hell-are-you-doing plays from Tom Freaking Brady today? Because that was one.
Willis McGahee jukes the crap out of Merriweather for 9 on 2nd-and-10 and plunges for the first down the next play at the Patriot 15. There aren't enough goat horns in the world to give to the Patriots today. The Pats blitz a screen pass, but Flacco, UNLIKE BRADY, makes a composed play and hits McGahee in the flat down to the 2. Holy freaking cats. And dogs. Living together! Ray Rice pounds in on two tries and the rout is on. Unbelievable!
Ravens 21, Patriots 0.
There's still five minutes left in the first quarter! Baltimore is on a pace to score 126 points! Two plays after the kickoff, ANOTHER INTERCEPTION! Domonique Foxworth breaks up a pass to Aiken that Brady never should have thrown, Ed Reed collects the ricochet, laterals to Dawan Landry, and BALTIMORE IS INSIDE THE NEW ENGLAND 10 AGAIN!!! Holy freaking cow. Jumping over the moon.
Banta-Cain, about the only Patriot playing today, blows a tackle on 2nd down for a big loss but McGahee still winds up losing a couple on the play after a long scramble. Flacco's third-and-goal pass is terrible, so the FG unit gets in on the festivities.
Ravens 24, Patriots 0.
Baltimore creams Butler the Patriot kick returner inside the 20. This game is just one of the great motivational mismatches of all time. DROPPED pass by Ben Watson. I'd still like to see the Rams go after him in the offseason. Faulk gets New England a much-needed big play, taking a quick slant for 18. Brady's getting good protection so far this drive but nearly gets picked off AGAIN by FRANK WALKER, as bad a DB as there is in this league. Then for the second straight day, it's the defense making the delay-of-game call before the referees notice it. 2nd-and-15 at the Patriot 33. Quick screen to Faulk LOSES FIVE with Carr all over it.
What an amazing first quarter for Baltimore and a quarter from hell for the sleepwalking Patriots.
End of first quarter: Ravens 24, Patriots 0.
SECOND QUARTER
Again, Pats fans should give the team all the booing they can muster. They paid 100 bucks or more to watch Brady play like this, and he's the one who still gets to go home and have sex with a supermodel.
Randy Who?, by the way. I haven't even seen Moss on camera yet today. Did he start? Is he playing?
A WE-GIVE-UP HANDOFF ON THIRD AND 20? Who's the coaching genius that thought that was going to work against Baltimore?
But now that the teams have switched ends, the Ravens lose the kick in the sun, it bounces off Tom Zbikowski, and the Patriots are given credit for fielding the loose ball in bounds WHEN THEY ACTUALLY DIDN'T. Yet former special teams coach John Harbaugh on the Ravens sideline apparently doesn't even consider a challenge. Huh. A couple of Faulk runs get the Patriots near the Raven 5. Fred Taylor gets them first-and-goal inside the five. But Ngata stuffs a run and Brady throws the ball a mile out of bounds when he could have run it in. Edelman saves the whole mess with a fairly impressive catch inside the goal line for New England's first score. Good job by Brady to stay on the move and keep that play alive.
Ravens 24, Patriots 7.
Can I ask why the sun is suddenly a factor this week when New England would seem to play a lot of games at noon? Yet everybody tracking a kick today on the one side of the field looks like Manny Ramirez trying to corral a tricky popup.
No problem for Baltimore on this kickoff return, though, and you can add a facemask penalty. Ravens continue to have nothing but outstanding field position today and start this drive at their 45 or so.
Bill Simmons is probably on his third underwear change by now, or should I say need for one when he's probably decided to just sit in it the rest of the day.
Rice pounds three times for 10 yards, then Cam "Camtastic" Cameron idiotically decides to put the game in Flacco's hands. Flacco forces a bad pass for Todd Heap that Leigh Bodden breaks up and Banta-Cain intercepts. Banta-Cain's all that's keeping the Pats alive today. Stupid play by Flacco, who may yet have a meltdown left in him. His play today's been almost as crappy as Brady's.
New England really needed to make something out of that turnover but can't after late pressure from Trevor Pryce on a stunt forces Brady to rush his 3rd-down throw for Faulk and it's incomplete.
7:38 till halftime. I fall five minutes behind on TiVo while NFL.com KILLS my computer. Give Baltimore bad/normal field position, they don't get anywhere. Classless Junior Seau blows up a screen to force 3rd-and-long, and the Ravens punt after a surrender handoff to Rice.
Fine punt return by Edelman, 28 yards past the Raven 45, whirling through and bouncing off tacklers. Brady looked for Moss on 2nd-and-5 but seemed to expect Moss to run a shorter comeback route. On 3rd down, middle pressure by Pryce again forces Brady to throw at Moss' feet incomplete, but Foxworth keeps New England alive by being offside. Belichick ingeniously follows that with two lame-ass runs, Ray Lewis swallowing Faulk up on the 2nd one. Hey, Moss is heard from on third down! Committing offensive pass interference running over Foxworth downfield. Hilarious. 3rd-and-18. Short pass to Faulk only gets them to the 36. I'm eagerly awaiting Tuesday Morning Quarterback's criticism of Belichick for deciding to PUNT here. You're down 17! There's no tomorrow! Ravens start at their 4 with just over 2:00 till halftime.
2:00 warning.
New England uses timeouts to try to get the ball back but McClain and McGahee get more than ten yards in three carries. Everyone seems content to run the clock out from here. No, Belichick uses another one after having let close to a minute run off the clock. HUH? McGahee briefly helps the Patriots out by idiotically going out of bounds on 2nd down but converts another 3rd-and-2 and we are going to run out the half this time.
Halftime score: Ravens 24, Patriots 7.
The Ravens have to be careful in the 2nd half to keep pounding New England on the ground and not put the game too much into Flacco's hands. New England's o-line can't cope with Baltimore's pressure and they don't have the running game to make them pay for it. They're less out of this game than I would have expected about an hour ago. But they'd better get some kind of a quick passing game going and somebody better light a fire under Randy Moss' ass. The first quick screen they run to Trevor Pryce's side will be good for a big play should they decide to do it. They better do something.
THIRD QUARTER
Slater's kick return is out close to the 40. Three-and-out for New England, though, as Brady throws beyond Edelman's reach on the out route on 3rd-and-long. Brady looks like Marc Bulger today.
If Marc was drunk. Ravens ball.
STUPID call by Cameron here as Demetrius Williams drops a bomb on 3rd-and-2. Work the clock, dummy. Fine throw by Flacco, but the call should have been a run. Keep New England's chances to a minimum.
Before that long throw, Brady's passer rating was 32; Flacco's was 2.8. Joe's thrown for 9 yards.
Patriots from their 14 after the punt. Hey, THERE's a quick throw. Edelman for 11. And now MOSS IS FINALLY HEARD FROM for 14 more. Two plays later, though, Brady tries to force a ball to Watson in coverage, Watson gets JACKED, and the ball pops up and into Landry's hands. He returns the INT to Indianapolis. Actually the Patriot 20, but you get my point. That INT's Brady's fault. Shouldn't have been thrown.
Baltimore doesn't do much with the ball after the turnover, but they do add a FG and they do run the clock down to about 6:00 left in the 3rd.
Ravens 27, Patriots 7.
Darius Butler tries to give New England a spark with a kick return out to midfield. Faulk atones for a dropped pass with an 8-yard run. BRADY TO MOSS at the Raven 40 for a first down. Sammy Morris gets them to the 25 with a catch and a run. Dwan Edwards punks Stephen Neal to sack Brady but an illegal contact penalty puts the Pats on the Raven 15 instead. 5 more to Moss as Brady is indeed finally getting the ball out quickly. Faulk draws down to the 3 for first-and-goal. Brady finds Edelman from a yard out for their 2nd TD connection of the day with about 17 minutes left to play.
Ravens 27, Patriots 14.
Zbikowski returns a short line-drive kick almost out to midfield. Both teams' special teams have been cluster, um, bombs, today. Flacco ends the 3rd quarter hitting Williams on a slant on 3rd-and-1. WTF is it with Cameron throwing on these 3rd-and-shorts?
End of third quarter: Ravens 27, Patriots 14.
FOURTH QUARTER
Congratulations to CBS on the download-themed transition back to the game.
I'd never thought a network could come up with anything more retarded than the Fox robots, but CBS has topped it.
Cameron STILL mysteriously relying on Flacco's arm down the stretch. Flacco overthrows Williams before hitting Mark Clayton at the Pats 20 for 17 yards, DOUBLING his passing yards for the day.
Congratulations to Vince Wilfork on his upcoming childbirth. Should he really be playing football while pregnant?
Tyrone McKenzie gets pressure on Flacco on 3rd down, but Joe scrambles down to the 7 and appears to extend the ball across the 6 for the first down. The refs say no, but Harbaugh challenges. As Phil Simms says, "THE PLAY'S SO BIG, YOU GOT TO CHALLENGE IT!" Well, if Baltimore settles for the figgie, they're still up three scores, not, Phil? They can certainly put the game away with a TD, though.
Harbaugh wins the challenge on the spot, as he should have; first and goal, Baltimore, from the 6. Refs probably should have got that play right on the live call, though. 11:50 left.
Three carries for McGahee and he's in, following Yanda's block for the TD. Not stupidly, the Ravens go for two to try to make the lead 21. Adalius Thomas intentionally goes offsides because the Patriots have about eight men on the field. McGahee tries to plunge in from the 1 but they say he didn't cross the plane. Odds of this mattering?
Ravens 33, Patriots 14.
Harbaugh challenges the call on the two-pointer, because this game's apparently not taking long enough to GET OVER WITH ALREADY. Though it's hard to believe McGahee didn't get the ball across the plane, the play is not overturned. Steratore's blowing his chance at a conference championship game down the stretch here.
Still Ravens 33, Patriots 14.
Continuing my legendary technological track record on playoff weekends, FUCKING WORTHLESS NFL.COM CRASHED MY GOD DAMN BROWSER WITH MOST OF THE FOURTH QUARTER LEFT TO PLAY AND I LOST A BUNCH OF WORK. Suffice it to say New England did little worth mentioning down the stretch, other than Gostkowski missing a FG to make sure Bill Simmons ran crying into his bathroom and slammed the door shut. Nobody bother him till Tuesday.
MY GOD NFL.COM SUCKS.
Final: Ravens 33, Patriots 14.
MVP: Since my fucking browser hanging for 15 minutes gives me little time to think, I'll give the lazy man's game ball to Ray Rice. The turning point of this game may have been his TD run on its first play. He topped 100 yards and scored another TD. I HAVE TO REMEMBER ALL THESE STATS MYSELF BECAUSE NFL.COM IS SUCH A PIECE OF CRAP. I would have preferred to give a defensive MVP, seeing as they held Brady to 135 yards and 3 INTs, and Moss to 4 useless catches for 29 useless yards. Or I could have given co-LVPs to Brady, Moss and Belichick, the latter for fielding a team for a playoff game that came out flatter than the roadkill they played like. But Rice is a worthy selection, if somewhat a lazy one.
Looking ahead: Quickly again, thanks to NFL.com SUCKING almost as badly as the Patriots today. And thanks to the worthless Pats, I have to project BOTH AFC games next weekend now. Despite Baltimore's terrific performance today, I think the Colts mop the floor with the Ravens next week. Flacco's going to have to make a play, but for some reason, he looked like a deer in the headlights today. Hell, he looked like Bambi in the headlights of an oncoming train. I like Indy a lot. I respect the Jets' performance Saturday night, too, but I really don't like their chances in San Diego. That Charger team is just too hot. The Charger D is very susceptible to the Jets' power running game, and I think San Diego's a little disappointed not to be playing New England, so there's a looking-past-the-opponent factor here, too. The key question will be how Philip Rivers adjusts to Darrelle Revis taking Vincent Jackson away. Well, there's Antonio Gates, and I don't think Jackson really stood out for the Chargers down the stretch anyway. So I like the home teams in the AFC next weekend.
New England's got to get tougher in the offseason. Bigger, more physical. They got whipped today the way they've always said they beat the Rams in Super Bowl XXXVI. They have amassed a lot of high draft picks the next two drafts and should have little problem attracting top free-agent talent. They need a workhorse RB, better WR depth and some maulers on both lines. It'll be an interesting offseason in chowder land. They have more pieces to add and a thinner base than you'd think.
Say it ain't so... what could be the last game of Kurt Warner's career is up in a few minutes.
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