Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Gimme an "A" game!

Teams that don't bring their "A" game deserve little respect from their fans, and today I'm calling out a part of the Rams franchise that has underachieved since at least the middle of last season. The members of this unit need to step up their game dramatically. Regardless of past performance, none of them should ever feel comfortable in their job security, as they're some of the cheapest, most replaceable parts of an NFL franchise. Bring your best every game or go home.

Yes, I'm calling you out, Rams cheerleaders. You didn't dress in costumes for the Halloween home game and the Rams lost. Christmas week, while you performed in uninspiring getups, which I think were just the regular uniforms with fur glued on them, the Rams lost twice. And the latest blow
came in the annual Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue, which came out this week with the cover announcement that there would be NFL cheerleaders in bikinis inside. There were 12. NONE of them were Rams.


It's not the cold weather, because the Patriots and Eagles were represented. It's not because the team sucked last year, because the issue had a cheerleader from the Raiders and one from the Dolphins. I can only conclude the Rams cheerleaders DIDN'T WANT IT ENOUGH!

Well, in 2008, it's time for you ladies to start bringing your "A" game. You're the public, and pretty, face of the franchise. So do something with it! We the suffering fans of Rams Nation demand a cheerleading crew that the NFL Network clamors to feature in a reality show. We want more than the same four routines to the same four songs you dance to every week all season. Let's have sexy Santa's helper costumes all December. And after the season, we want you banging down Sports Illustrated's doors, demanding you be in the 2009 swimsuit issue.

As for Halloween... there will be French maids. Oh, yes, there will. And nurses and biker chicks and belly dancers and other costumes so hot Rams fans will have to pay a cover charge to get into the Dome. We have seen enough subpar performances lately from our offense. Our defense. Our special teams. Our coaching staff. We're not going to put up with it from our cheerleaders. Knock yourselves out and knock our socks off.

How's that for improving game time atmosphere?

No comments: