Rams report, 10/26

* Don't ask me how, or why, but Sunday's home game against the Saints has sold out. So ha, ha, you people at home, you're stuck with this game, too. The Saints are 13-point favorites. I would pick them to double-cover. (I'd be 3-3 betting Rams games so far this year, were I stupid enough to try.)

* As far as the sellout, this could be a big weekend for Stan Kroenke. If there's a lot of Saint fans here, they're sure to be getting drunk, and on the league's most expensive beer at that. Jackpot!

* Here's where the Rams rank in the NFL after six glorious weeks:
 
Total points: DEAD LAST, we've already noted the Rams have scored fewer points ALL SEASON than the Saints did LAST WEEK. The Jagwires are 31st with 84 points to the Rams' 56, but they have a "game in hand". Think the Rams can score 28 in two weeks and catch up?

Me, neither.

The Rams are not quite on a pace to score 150 points THIS SEASON. Fifteen NFL teams have ALREADY scored 150 points.

CALVIN JOHNSON HAS OUTSCORED THE SAINT LOUIS RAMS BY HIMSELF. 60 to 56.
So have 8 kickers, and Olindo Mare is just a FG away.

Total offense: 28th
Passing offense: 23rd
Team passer rating: 29th
Sacks: TIED FOR DEAD LAST with Seattle, Rams QBs have been sacked 23 times.
Interceptions: Damn Feeley knocked the Rams into 2nd place. 49ers now lead the league with only 2 INTs.
Passing TDs: Still DEAD LAST with 3. Drew Brees threw FIVE TD passes LAST WEEK.
Yards per attempt: 30th
Rushing offense: 26th
Yards per carry: 16th (4.2)
Rushing TDs: Still TIED FOR DEAD LAST with 2, but it's a seven-way tie now.

Individual offensive brilliance:
Sam Bradford: still 30th-rated passer in the league. He did stay ahead of Blaine Gabbert this week. Then again, Sam didn't play. Bradford is 31st in the league in completion % but is tied for the lead with Jay Cutler for most times sacked. So, good thing Bradford isn't playing for Martz, he'd be getting killed, huh?
Steven Jackson: 28th in the league in rushing, 290 yards. Demarco Murray ran for 253 last week. Then again, Steven only gets to practice against the Ram defense, not play against it. Steven's 4.9 per carry does match league rushing leader Adrian Peterson, though.
Brandon Gibson: The Rams' leading receiver, who wasn't even active last week, is 62nd in the league with 17 catches, tied with immortals like Harry Douglas, Ben Obomanu and Legedu Naanee.
Danario Alexander: Leads the team in receiving yards with 296, good for 47th in the league.

Either of the Rams' leading receivers would rank SEVENTH ON THE SAINTS' ROSTER.

Points allowed: 31st on a per-game basis, 28.5 points a game. The Rams allow more points per half than the #1 Ravens do PER GAME.

Total defense: 29th
Rushing "defense": DEAD DEAD DEAD LAST. 183.8 yards a game and now 33 yards a game out of 31st place (Colts). The Rams allow more rushing yards in a half than FIVE NFL teams do PER GAME. Their 5.5 yards allowed per rush is also DEAD LAST in the league. Guess who's next? New Orleans.
Pass defense: Yards per game: 13th, which will surely improve, even, since every future opponent knows they'll never HAVE to pass against the Rams when they can run for 5.5 freaking yards per pop.
Yards per attempt: 15th
Pass completion % against: stunningly, 7th-BEST in the league. 55.7%.
QB rating against: 26th. Chalk that up to the Rams having given up the 2nd-most passing TDs (13).
Sacks: 26th, with 11. Jared Allen has more sacks than the entire Ram defense.
Interceptions: 23rd

Individual defensive brilliance:
Chris Long: Long has as many sacks as Clay Matthews! And Ndamukong Suh! Yeah, 3, good for 28th in the league. Draft busts Aaron Maybin and Amobi Okoye also have 3.

Special teams:
Donnie Jones: Only 23rd in the league in punting average, 19th in net. Look for Donnie to get McQuaided next summer.
Josh Brown: 7 makes in 9 attempts is only good for 25th-best FG%. He's tied with Rob Bironas and right ahead of Adam Freaking Vinatieri, though; not like those two are bad kickers. The Rams' scoring leader with 26 points, Josh ranks 50th in the league. He's 4 points behind Mike Tolbert, who is arguably San Diego's backup RB.

Miscellaneous:
Turnover ratio: 20th (-2)
Penalties: 19th

Wins: TIED FOR DEAD LAST
Losses: Tied for 31st, with Miami. Indianapolis "leads" with 7. The Colts may throw a parade their bye week. Meanwhile, it's completely possible the Rams could be the first team ever to go 0-16 and NOT draft first the following year!

-$-