RamView game blog: Rams 21, Lions 14

The NFL offers an awesome matchup between two of the best franchises at finding ways to lose when the Rams take on the Lions in a couple of hours. (Leave it to the Rams; they can't even claim to be the biggest eternal losers after beating the Browns earlier this season.)

Actually, I should say the Lions are playing what's left of the Rams. Robert Quinn needs back surgery and his season is over. T.J. McDonald finally injured himself while maiming his own teammates to the extent that he's done for the season. Shoulder surgery. (The rest of the Ram defense breathes a sigh of relief.) Trumaine Johnson, back after missing two weeks for a thigh injury, draws the task of defending Calvin Johnson because Janoris Jenkins (McDonald's latest victim) is still in the concussion protocol. Those are just the new injuries, and I probably forgot some, besides the how many? five? offensive linemen the Rams have already lost this year and Chris Long playing about 1/3 as well as his normal self and the mentally wounded QB who is forcing Case Keenum back into action today. Just shoot me.

The main good news I have to offer: the Lions are as good at finding ways to lose as the Rams, and Megatron is in my fantasy playoff lineup, so he's due for a massive choke. Doesn't mean Golden Tate won't go off for 100 yards and 3 TDs, but it's something. The Lions are playing a lot better right now, but neither of these teams can win a game to save their lives. This'll go to overtime and be won by whoever loses the coin flip.

On TV, Fox will give us Chris Myers and three hours of Ronde Barber telling us how great he is again; in stripes, it will be Walt Anderson's crew, whose last Rams game was a 12-6 home loss to Arizona last December.

FIRST QUARTER
Lions won the toss and smartly make the Rams take the ball first. Keenum on the Case at QB, from his 20. Hey, new OC Rob Boras remembers you're allowed to throw to the RB! Keenum rolls and hits Todd Gurley for 7. Gurley for the first down off a nice block by Tim Barnes at center. Rams go five-wide - I'm not sure about all these empty backfields so far - but Keenum quickly hits Tavon Austin on a quick hitch for 3. Gurley middle left for another 4. 3rd-3, they run about a 1-yard flare to Austin out of trips. He dives for the marker.... and comes up short, forcing a punt. Brilliant play-calling by Boras right out of the box, a damn 1-yard pass on 3rd-and-3. Genius! Only a 42-yard punt by Hekker, fair-caught by Golden Tate at the DET19. Way to pin them! Oh, and PENALTY #1 on Christian Bryant, a 15-yard facemask! Brilliant! Way to pin them, idiots!

Lions at their 34, assuming the Rams are done handing them penalty yards. Awful non-edge-setting by Will Hayes and Mark Barron, but Trumaine Johnson holds Ameer Abdullah's bounce outside to 3. That's a rookie play; he stays in with that, he has a big gain. Hayes is much better on 2nd down, steering Abdullah's draw handoff back into Aaron Donald for no gain. Gregg Williams wins on 3rd down. TruJo is man-up tight on Megatron, and Matthew Stafford wants to go there, but can't because Mark Barron fake-blitzed and dropped back in coverage. Stafford pulls it down, plenty of time for Aaron Donald to get there for sack #1 (his ninth). 3-and-out - sweet defensive call; Williams also blitzed a couple. In fact, Laurinaitis' blitz up the middle helped free up Donald to the QB. Won't be a punting clinic today; about a 39-yarder fair-caught by Austin at the Ram 27.

Gurley's too slow to the corner and a LB knocks him down for a loss. I'd blame Garrett Reynolds for not getting there in time, but Gurley didn't even get there in time. The Rams empty the backfield AGAIN but Devin Taylor smokes Greg Robinson and scares Keenum into a weak throwaway. Awesome, 3rd-11 already. Keenum gets a load of time, though, and hits Bradley Marquez (!) for 14 on a square out from the slot. Corey Harkey opens a big hole for Gurley but an OLB closes it quickly and holds him to a couple. Keenum audibles to another handoff to Gurley, who goes behind Barnes and Robinson for 4. 3rd-3. Let's throw a pass FARTHER than 1 yard here, please. Not very convincing play-action at all, Detroit is all over Keenum on a rollout - think they're expecting those, Coach Boras - and Case dishes a floater that gets Kenny Britt killed downfield for an incomplete. I'm going to give Quandre Diggs credit for a nice hit there and give Britt some benefit of the doubt. Play blew up when Barnes and Cody Wichmann let Josh Bynes get loose between them. A thrilling under way in the Dome! But team MVP Hekker pulls out the pitching wedge and pins the Lions at their 4.

4-yard quick route to T.J. Jones out of the slot. Gregg Williams continuing to throw man coverage looks on Megatron. So, wait a minute here. We're TEN YARDS off EVERY Cardinal receiver last week, but we're going to be in the face of one of the best WRs in the game all this week? That SOB Gregg Williams knows I have Megatron on my FFL team, doesn't he? Nick Fairley stuffs Abdullah after a yard. 3rd-5. TruJo in Mega's face but Marcus Roberson 8 yards off Golden Tate. Stafford hits Brandon Pettigrew for 6 over the middle. They let the TE get pretty physical with Mo Alexander there. Mega was wide open on a double-move but just as Stafford threw. Mega in motion to chip-block for Abdullah, but the Rams stayed in zone and Roberson cut off the sweep right nicely for a couple. Smoke route to Tate out of 4-wide, but here's Roberson again to blow that up. Nice! 3rd-9. Loose coverage on everybody this time, but Mega is just blocking for another bubble screen to Tate, who makes some moves but gets stopped a yard short. Big kick drives Austin back to his 17; he returns it for about 10 and runs right into Corey Fuller.

WILDCAT TIME! Great handoff by Gurley to Austin on a jet sweep right sucks in the RDE, Austin sweeps around that side off a solid Robinson block, spins out of a tackle and gets out to the Ram 48 for 20 yards!

FFL update: if you're reading this, you know someone who has both Andy Dalton and Thomas Rawls in their playoff lineup, and whose season is now DEADER THAN A DOORNAIL because both have been knocked out of their respective games. I was the 2nd-highest scoring team in our league and I'm going to get wiped out by our league's equivalent of the NFC East champions. Seriously, SCREW YOU, FANTASY FOOTBALL.

OK, back to the Rams. Tre Mason sweeps left for about 6, and gets taken down A MILE OUT OF BOUNDS WITHOUT A PENALTY. Mason gets stuffed on 2nd down; Lance Kendricks unsurprisingly didn't block his guy so he could run a route instead. Keenum gets drilled by Haloti Ngata on a stunt as he throws a pass that it looks like Austin should have caught on a pivot route. The Rams get a gift defensive holding call on Jason Jones, who I guess held Tim Barnes? I didn't see anything, tbh. Rams at the DET42. Diggs jumps a screen to Mason for a 3-yard loss. Austin gets the Rams a first down, though, stutter-stepping through a big hole cleared by Barnes and Reynolds.

SECOND QUARTER
Chris Myers points out Austin already has more touches than he did all of last week. Rams at the Lion 32. Keenum goes deep for Austin split left, but the throw's out of bounds and Austin wasn't very open anyway. Mason cuts an inside handoff back left, picks up a block outside by Brian Quick and gets 5. And, these are the Rams, so they next get sacked out of FG position. Benny Cunningham gets in Robinson's way trying to chip Ziggy Ansah, leaving himself 1-on-1 with Freak 2.0, which was not destined to end well. Reynolds got beaten to the inside by Ngata and gave Keenum nowhere to bail. More thrilling punting, please! The crowd, who booed Jeff Fisher during intros per Jim Thomas, is now booing the decision to punt on 4th-and-15. Greg Zuerlein's back on the active roster, but I doubt he's up to trying to jack a 55-yard attempt today. The crowd's equally unhappy with the ensuing delay of game, since it's more important to get Hekker positioned for the punt, than, you know, to go for points. I feel ya, crowd, but I think the Rams were forced to punt here. Detroit declined the delay of game, and Bryant made a nice play at the goal line to tip the ball back in play. Lions have to start inside their 5 again.

Detroit at their 2. James Laurinaitis stuffs Joique Bell. Great crowd noise making it hard for Stafford to audible; he misses a very-open Megatron by 6 feet on a wide open pass up the sideline. Good job crowd, but while Gregg Williams continues to keep a DB in my FFL WR's face, he leaves the immortal T.J. Jones wide open in the zone for 15. I'm still a little bitter about my FFL team being dead 45 minutes into Sunday's games; you'll need to put up with me a bit longer. Draw to Bell, who runs through SHODDY tackling for 13, diving misses by Roberson and Alexander. No pressure on Stafford, who gets 9 after a dumpoff when Theo Riddick jukes Lamarcus Joyner and Laurinaitis whiffs. Ram D looking just a little less than great this series.

FFL update: wait a minute, Thomas Rawls walked off the field with a game-ending ankle injury? Sorry, but how does that work? I can only figure the NFL has decided to conspire against my fantasy team.

Back to the real game; Bell gets the first down at the 40. Drive started at the 2, D. Delay blitz does nothing but Stafford misses Jones by a mile. This game has been every bit the non-clinic I thought it would be. Stafford audibles to a quick slant to Jones, but Joyner breaks it up nicely. 3rd-10. Brandon Pettigrew has to be helped off after a knee injury that didn't look very pretty on slo-mo. Stafford audibles again, throws a hitch to Tate, but Roberson, playing a ton better than last week so far, holds Tate to 8. This game has had the non-stop thrills of a WWE contract signing.

Just when I say that, the Rams pull out the Mountaineer play again. Everyone falls for it again, too: the Lions, me, the cameraman... everything's great except it's Cody Davis fielding the punt, not Stedman Bailey, and he muffs it at the 12 but luckily recovers and gets to the 17. Austin didn't sell that anything close to how he sold it last year against Seattle, which really helped Detroit re-direct their focus when they had to.

Keenum rolls right and has plenty of time to fire deep, but Britt is not remotely open and the pass is out of bounds. Gurley's back in but Barnes completely whiffs on Khyri Thornton, who buries him for -2. I didn't have room to include Thornton in last week's preview but he's a load. Wichmann really butchers a stunt pickup that leaves Devin Taylor free to chase Keenum into scrambling, and he gets no gain up the sideline. Might be a sack, I'm not sure. More spine-tingling punting, please! Hekker blasts a 58-yard punt but also has to force Tate out of bounds after he swept left and escaped a couple of poor diving tackles. Illegal block on Detroit anyway, so this drive will probably start around their 10.

Seriously, this game may end in a scoreless tie. Well set-up screen to Bell gets 17 after Barron gets taken out by the lead blocker. Lions at the 32. Alexander whiffs on a swing pass to Abdullah that gets 8. Abdullah cuts back right for another 5; none of the d-line got off their block there.

AND THUS ENDETH OUR SCORELESS TIE, about the only way anyone's scoring today, a PICK SIX. TruJo was laid well off Mega for about the first time all day, which Stafford saw and immediately tried to go after, but TruJo was sandbagging, jumped the pass, got a key block by Akeem Ayers on Stafford inside the Detroit 20, then got bottled up just as the whole crowd is going, you HAVE to score, TruJo, our offense sure won't, but Rodney McLeod took out a lineman to free up the rest of the trip. Awesome play by TruJo! Rams 7, Lions 0

Lions start again from their 20 after a Zuerlein touchback. Dumpoff to Riddick for 6; Donald was about in Stafford's lap there. Riddick runs through Ethan Westbrooks for the 1st. Lions go no-huddle. Eric Ebron over the middle for 11. Rams are either in REALLY soft nickel coverage or only have 10 on the field as Riddick bounces left for 16, with Westbrooks getting tied up at RDE and no one behind to help him. Bad angle by Joyner if he was supposed to be in support. Light pressure at best now as Tate burns Roberson for a long sideline catch AND breaks a tackle to get inside the 10 with about a 38-yard gain. Good news, though: Walt Anderson is on the Rams' side today, taking it all back for a chop block call on Theo Riddick that wasn't a chop block at all. Let me get that Christmas bottle of Jack for Walt in the mail. When you are the Detroit Lions, ways to lose games find YOU. 52-yard change in field position puts them at their 41, and a frustrated Riddick now drops a screen to make it 2nd-25. Michael Brockers stunts with the Rams blitzing Joyner off the left edge and buries Stafford for SACK #2 at the 2:00 warning. 3rd-33. Quick slant for Riddick gets about 9, and send in the punter. Fisher takes a while to figure out the clock is still running and calls timeout #1 at about 1:20. In classic find-a-way-to-lose fashion, Detroit butchers downing the punt inside the 1, the up man drags his foot in the end zone to set the Rams up at the 20.

Really, Boras? A draw to Gurley gets 3 and the clock keeps running. Keenum next appears to throw a screen pass into Reynolds' back and Gurley can't make a catch. Nice protection on 3rd-7 and Keenum hits Jared Cook for 11. Timeout #2 at 0:39. Ansah whips Robinson after a hand fight and DRILLS Keenum as he throws for an incomplete. Detroit blitzes, and Barnes gets beaten to get Keenum drilled again, but he hits Marquez for 5. The Rams have used 40 seconds and 2 timeouts to move about 15 yards. Austin makes a stumbling catch across midfield, stumbling because he was held. Sweet cut by Tavon there; Rams at the Lion 48. That's all the prosperity the Ram offense can stand, though; Keenum gets blindsided by Isa Abdul-Quddus on a safety blitz and floats a pass to the sideline that Darius Slay fair catches. No missed block there, but I'm guessing Benny should have stayed back to block instead of going into the line. Nobody read that safety blitz.



Good rush and a Joyner blitz scare Stafford into a throwaway at :09, and it was properly called as grounding. He wasn't in the pocket and there wasn't a receiver in the area. Barber guesses the Lions will now kneel it out, which they do, while Myers literally begs them to get us to the end of the half. I feel ya, Chris; this hasn't exactly been an instant classic.

But the Rams are winning! 7-0 at halftime

HALFTIME ADJUSTMENTS
Both offensive coordinators need to seriously consider the Red Beaulieu Gambit at halftime, meaning just kneel three times and punt the rest of the game. Hell, they're practically doing it anyway. Jim Bob Cooter has been as idiotic as his name sounds that he can't even figure out a way to get Megatron open against the depleted Ram secondary. Gregg Williams has been every bit as good this week as he was awful last week. Stafford's showing he can't handle the blitz so I'm expecting more of it in the 2nd half, and I wouldn't mind tighter coverage on the legendary T.J. Jones than there has been. Pretty flawless half by Williams, though.


I have seen no improvement over Frank Cignetti by Rob Boras other than he's remembered the Rams have Tavon Austin, and he could always forget that next game like Cignetti seemed to forget every other game. I'd prefer to hit Detroit with more of a power game than all the spread formations Boras threw out in the 1st half. With that Lion d-line, let's be more careful about protecting the QB. Let's get Gurley and Austin to the edge, run some play-action to get Cook open some and let's get out of here.

THIRD QUARTER
Fisher does not yell at anyone to "catch the freaking ball" in the sideline huddle. He does want the defense to get the ball back, with Detroit receiving to start the half. Abdullah gets 6 after Donald and Hayes can't get to him. Good pressure by Hayes on 2nd down forces a poor dumpoff incomplete. The Rams blitz a screen attempt on 3rd-and-4, but Laurinaitis gets away with holding up Riddick, and gets a big blast from Donald, who absolutely whipped RT Michael Ola with a swim move from DE. Donald bent time and space there he was so fast. I don't think Ola ever knew Donald was behind him even though he started the play out in front of him.

Rams at their 29. Hey, look, it's play-action to Cook in the flat and up the sideline for about 25.... NO, PENALTY #2, ON GREG ROBINSON, for a chop block. Is this one really a chop block? Yes, good call by Anderson. 1st-24 at the 15. Steven Tulloch breaks up a short middle pass for Lance Kendricks, then trips up Austin for no gain on a middle handoff. Boy, it's a shame the Rams don't have a feature stud RB on the roster or anything. WHERE THE HELL IS GURLEY? 3rd-and-a-mile, of course it's a dumpoff to Benny for a few. 7. God, this offense. 50-yard punt by Hekker; Tate returns it to the 35.

Highly predictable bubble screen to Tate, stacked behind Megatron split right, still gets 12. Barron wipes out Riddick with a flying play. MONSTER HOLE for Bell on a quick handoff gets him room to run for 18. Chris Long way overshot that, Donald also got caught in deep, and Ayers dived in the hole and missed. Good protection lets Stafford hit Jones at the Ram 29. 2nd-3. Tate gets 15 on an end-around after Barron whiffs in the backfield. A lot of shoddy tackling in blue and gold this week. Bubble screen to Riddick for another 5 gets them to the Ram 9. And, as ever, Golden Tate beats the Rams for a TD. He came from wide right and Roberson couldn't get around the pick route by the slot receiver. A tie game is something we DO NOT need to see between these two teams. 7-7

The Rams need to kneel on it three times quickly here and get the Lions the ball back so they can go for another pick-six. HA! A Lions fan in the stands just offered Walt Anderson a beer. He waved it off, but brilliant move. Darryl Tapp nearly ruins a jet sweep to Austin for a huge loss, but he got around right end for 7. Good protection; Keenum to Marquez for 13. Ansah jumps offside to put the Rams at their 45. Keenum audibles to a run left, to this apparently new guy Gurley they just got, and he blows up for a 49-yard run. Lance Kendricks got Tapp turned on the right edge - the DE didn't even know the play was coming his way - and COOK got an excellent kickout block to give Gurley a ton of running room. He hurdled a DB at the 35 and flew down inside the 10! 1st-and-goal now at the 6, so of course the first thing is PENALTY #3, another poor call by Anderson. He claimed Austin and Gurley were in motion at the snap when Gurley was clearly set. Makeup call for the chop block earlier? This has not been a challenging game for Anderson and crew; they really should not be butchering clear-cut plays like these. One thing Boras has gotten right today is to run LEFT; Gurley goes behind Barnes and Reynolds for 6 down to the 5. 2nd-and-goal, Keenum audibles to a pitch to Gurley, who gets a block from Cory Harkey and leaps over Glover Quin and at the pylon for the TD! Rams 14, Lions 7 The Rams are reversing the pattern of the past 5 games and are actually finding ways to win! Hopefully I didn't speak too soon there.

Myers lets us know that was the Rams' first offensive TD in 9 quarters and 14 points is their high water mark the past 5 games. The Lions open with a DROP by WORTHLESS Calvin Johnson. It's gotten pretty legendary that somebody on my team's got to crap all over my FFL playoff hopes every year, congratulations to Gagatron for this year's honor among my scarce healthy players. I think it's Brockers who gets pushed 5 yards out of the hole, pancaked AND flipped, to open up a big hole for Bell for 9. Stafford play-actions on 3rd-and-1, and fullback Michael Burton beats Barron in the flat and gets up the sideline for 12. Nice run stuff by Fairley, who spends way too much time celebrating his first play of the game against his old team. Play-action on 2nd-8, and Roberson nearly beats the throw to Tate, tackling him for a big loss. His game today has bordered on terrific; see what happens when you let your DBs play man? Donald and Hayes flush Stafford on 3rd-12 to force a throwaway. 1:04 left in the 3rd, and dare I say it, the Rams are in control of this game. Tavon returns the punt 83 yards to the end zone, but Myers announced the flag on the Rams right away, and naturally, PENALTY #4 is a holding call on Benny Cunningham. I guess they're saying he grabbed the defenders' right arm while clearing him out of the lane that Austin took. Barber and Myers say it's a very ticky-tack call, and I have to agree given some of the brutal holding I've seen opponents get away with vs. the Rams on returns. And if not for Anderson's call here, this game would probably be over.

Instead, here are the Rams at their 9. On a bizarre-looking play, the Lions jump, Keenum stutter steps to get the secondary thinking run and throws a crazy lob up the sideline for Britt, who brings it down at the 34! OK, Keenum wasn't faking there, he was realizing he had a free play. All the Lions had kind of stopped, and they are cleanly beating the Rams today in the finding-ways-to-lose department. That new guy Gurley breaks a bad tackle in the hole and explodes off RT for 25! Hey, he may have a future here! Nice outside block by Rob Havenstein and inside block by Cody Wichmann. Let's see if the Rams can put a game away for once.

FOURTH QUARTER
So, of course, as soon as I say that, the Rams get Gurley buried for a 4-yard loss on a toss left. Robinson and Kendrick swung out wide and blocked no one while Gurley got buried under three Lions, and I suspect I'm not the only person wondering what the hell went on there. Hey, there's Wes Welker, beating Abdul-Quddus on a quick slant for 11. Why'd it take 45 minutes to remember him? 3rd-3, another quick slant, to Britt, who breaks a tackle and picks up a first down. There's a play that eluded Frank Cignetti in his brief tenure here. Every time Keenum has audibled today, it's been to a handoff, but the still-clueless Lions let Gurley get away for 10. James Ihedigbo blows a tackle in the hole while Havenstein makes a blocking-sled of a block to clear the way. He just rag-dolled the awful Tapp there, and I cannot comprehend why Tapp is getting so many snaps for Detroit. He stinks on ice. Bah, they gave Gurley 9.98 yards, leaving 2nd-and-.02. No matter as Gurley bounces outside FOR ANOTHER TD! Barnes turned Thornton, Reynolds pancaked and big-splashed a guy, Ansah pretty much quit on the play, and Gurley popped through and outran Quin to the pylon again after getting him off-balance with a wicked Marshall Faulkian jump cut. I'll shut my mouth and listen, for they are chanting Gurley's name. 21-7 Rams

I'm happy the Rams are pulling out a rare win for the long-suffering St. Louis home crowd but have to acknowledge that, even with a couple of extra days of rest, the Lions are really mailing this one in. Detroit fans are definitely in screw-this mode as Abdullah gets tripped by the Turf Monster at the 13 on the kick return. Chris Long nearly blows up a delay handoff to Abdullah but he gets away for 4. Westbrooks jumps but gets back, but we still get the BULLSHIT offsides penalty because a lineman stands up and points several seconds later. COME ON. Penalty #5, but Walt Anderson is NOT getting a good grade this week. Play action on 2nd-1, and Abdullah gets out to the 37 off a dumpoff. Play-action, and after Eugene Sims beats Riley Reiff to make Stafford step up, Donald beats Laken Tomlinson for his 2nd sack, and the Rams' 3rd. Replay shows Megatron had TruJo burned with a double move but Stafford didn't get the time to see him. Hey, Gregg Williams, don't go soft on Mega now. Barron and TruJo are ALL OVER a screen on 3rd down as the Rams are winning the Clusterbleep Bowl in a blowout. Short cross to Tate on 3rd-21 sends the punt team back out. I'm calling for a high dose of Gurley from here. The punt lands roughly in Kiener Plaza and sets the Rams up at their 29.

Mason immediately gets buried for minus-4 after no one blocks the LB Tulloch. This happens all the time! Get a hat on the damn LB! Keenum gets plenty of time and hits Mason short for 3, with Detroit declining an unannounced holding penalty. Want to bet that was on Robinson? Naw, Tivo says it was probably on Reynolds. 3rd-11.  Naturally, for both teams, Benny nearly picks it up on a draw play but is stopped a yard short. Tim Barnes is having a career day at center; he has been mauling Lions all game long. Haloti who? But, no first down, and the Rams only got a couple of minutes off the clock. AND waste a timeout in punt formation. Just take the penalty and burn off a few more seconds! Jeez. The Rams down the punt at the 14. 6:18 to play.

And here we go with the announcers talking about the potential move to L.A. Myers says the Rams have enjoyed A LOT OF successful seasons here? Try FIVE, out of 20, and that's counting the year they made the playoffs at 8-8. 6 to Ebron as Barron pops him. Here in the 2nd half, Williams has had TruJo laying off Megatron a ton but has been disguising and rolling coverages fiendishly. Here, Stafford has to run after wanting to throw to Mega because Joyner jumped up on his slant route. WHERE WAS THIS DEFENSIVE COACHING BRILLIANCE LAST WEEK WHEN I HAD NO FANTASY FOOTBALL INTEREST AT STAKE?!?!?!? A 2-foot screen pass to Riddick gets 16 after Barron gets wiped out at the point of attack. Lions at their 42. ANOTHER screen to Riddick, but TruJo closes rapidly and holds him to 2. Joyner blitzes and whiffs on a sack, but Donald splits a RG/C double-team and cleans up for his THIRD sack of the game. Hello Pro Bowl. Donald nearly gets there again on 3rd down but Tate's open underneath the zone for 16 and a 1st down at the Ram 45. Stafford tries to go deep for Mega, who runs a pretty weak double-move route and runs right into TruJo's arms to abort the route. Stafford wants a hold, but Gagatron pretty much ran into TruJo and quit. No hold to be found. But the Rams next get burned by a SCREEN to Ebron, with Alexander unable to get out to the edge on him. After lots of audibles on both sides, Stafford throws behind an open Jones down the seam and incomplete. 10 more off ANOTHER FREAKING DUMPOFF, to Bell. No, make it 9. 3rd-1. Bell gets a huge hole up the middle for 7, down to the Ram 18. Brockers couldn't get off the center and ended up on the ground. Donald's getting his arm wrapped on the sideline; honestly, they need Donald on the field enough, that would have been worth a timeout. Stafford fires for Tate in the end zone but he's double-teamed and it's incomplete. The good news here is that this drive is taking forever; we're down to 2:30 left. WOW, MEGATRON MAKES A FREAKING CATCH nearly 58 minutes into the game at the 2, getting behind Barron and surviving a big hit from McLeod. 1st-goal. He's double-teamed on the left edge, and Tate scores his SECOND TD off another pick that Roberson can't get around. Jones blocked Joyner into Roberson, and it was before Stafford threw, so it's a clean play that maybe the Rams secondary would like to learn how to defend someday? Rams 21, Lions 14

So help me God if this game goes to overtime. AND OF COURSE Marquez badly misplays the onside kick AND IT'S RECOVERED BY DETROIT. The Rams are now rapidly scrambling for ways to try to lose this one. Lions at their 47. Sims somehow manages not to sack Stafford (find a way to lose!), Stafford rolls out and throws a terrible pass (find a way to lose!), TruJo DROPS it on a tough diving play (find a way to lose, advantage, Rams!) 2:00 warning. Anybody seen my Zantac? Quick throw to Jones gets 7. Quick slant on 3rd down is off Jones' hands, with Roberson right there to push him out of getting the rebound. Ball game here on 4th-and-3.

And the Lions win the Find-Ways-To-Lose Bowl. Hilariously, the snap is wild, Stafford runs back 10 yards to track it down, rolls and fires for Ebron, right about the time he's tripped down by McLeod by what's ruled incidental contact - Rams ball! Barron blitzing helped rush that throw.

Gurley's counter run behind mauling downblocking by Robinson and Reynolds, and through a poor tackle by Ansah, gets him 20 to salt the game away.

Woo-hoo, the Rams still have a chance at .500!

Final: Rams 21, Lions 14

-$-